Total Recall: When it comes to transitioning your child from a crib to a big bed, there are 2 perfect words to describe the experience. Oh and f*ck!

Published June 14, 2012

We really dragged our feet when it came to the hummingbird getting her big girl bed. It wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be but it also wasn’t a great transition.

Giving the then 2 year-old little hummingbird free reign to her room was terrifying to me. We took out most of her toys and even found latches so she couldn’t get into her sliding door closet.

Other than that, we just hoped she would sleep. It was a good few weeks when she really got the hang of it and would actually stay in bed on some nights.

Here are a few parenting essentials you’ll need when you’re outside your child’s door while they scream mmmoooooooooommmmmmmmyyyyyyy.

I may or may not have used some or all of these things. Ahem.

Nyquil is the midnight snack for moms the world over. During this transition, pre-order a case. While you’re telling your child over and over and over again to get back in bed, make it a drinking game. Every time you say GET. BACK. IN. BED. RIGHT. NOW., take a shot. You’ll be passed out in no time and won’t care that your kid won’t stay in bed. Problem solved!

Baby jail, or a security gate so they can’t get out of their room and cause havoc all over while you and the hubby are sleeping soundly.

An iPod is a must. Instead of hearing your child scream bloody murder, you can hear Trent Reznor do the same to music.

Calling your mom. There will probably be a time during this (and every other stage of childhood) when you will call your mom and tell her you’re child is broken and you want a new one. Okay I never said that (or maybe I did) but I have said countless times “this can’t be normal, can it?”.

A big, Costco size bottle of Xanax for obvious reasons.

There you go, you’re all set. Now, get that Nyquil bottle into position!

How did your child respond to the transition of a big bed? Was there lots of drinking? 

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3 Responses to Total Recall: When it comes to transitioning your child from a crib to a big bed, there are 2 perfect words to describe the experience. Oh and f*ck!

  1. Naomi April 12, 2014 at 21:23 #

    Our kiddo didn’t do well in the crib at all. She’d turn sideways in it and get her legs stuck in between the rungs. Then, she’d hurt herself rolling over. This all led to moving to a big girl bed when she was one. We surrounded all the sides with soft things to fall on, and she did okay. It worked well at that age because I could just stay in the room with her until she fell asleep. She stayed in bed that way. The big kicker is that she’s almost four, and I still stay in the room with her until she’s asleep. It’s kind of nice when she cuddles up to my leg, and bedtime is less yelly this way.

  2. Jennifer @ Also Known As...the Wife April 13, 2014 at 13:00 #

    Sophia was a freak of nature when it came time to make her crib into a day bed. She slept the first night without ever getting out of it and then didn’t get out of it until we came and got her in the morning. A few weeks later she started testing her new found freedom and would get out of bed in the morning to read books which bought us at least a half hour of additional sleep. A few weeks after that she started getting up around 10 p.m. to read books in the dark but we were like “whatever she’s contained and she’s quiet and nondestructive” and it stopped within a few days because she couldn’t see the books in the dark.

    You know I’m totally going to pay for all of this tenfold when Jack is ready to leave the crib.
    Jennifer @ Also Known As…the Wife recently posted..Because I’m HappyMy Profile

  3. massageon May 21, 2014 at 10:13 #

    We are transitioning our 2 year old now, and it’s been a special kind of hell for us. We have resorted to ignoring her screams for MOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY. The first few weeks we dealt with her getting out of bed over and over and finally I smacked her butt and put her back to bed. Now she just yells from the bed over and over for an hour.

    Oh and she also threatens to smack US on the butt now when we’re being “bad”. Lovely.

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