The type A mom at gymnastics makes me want to hide in the corner, rock back and forth, and cover my ears as I yell La La La.

The little hummingbird started gymnastics a few months ago ago and during her very first class, there was a mom there that I found mildly annoying.

The classes are held in a small gym and there’s a waiting area with a few row of seats for the parents, and a step that goes up into the gymnastics area.

Type A mom sits front and center to watch her girls in the class and has a 2 year-old that she brings with her to the hour-long class that she for some reason expects to sit quietly during the entire time. I can barely sit still and be quiet the whole hour so her 2 year-old does a better job than I do.

For the first several classes, I tried to give Type A mom the benefit of the doubt and figured she was having an off day. But after spending about a dozen hours with her, I’ve found that she’s not so much a Type A mom as she is Kate Gosselin 2.0.

There are 2 young instructors teaching the gymnastics class along with the owner who I’ll call Chanandler Bong.

Despite the kids in the class being given instruction, Katie G just does not shut the fuck up. Ever. During the second class, she was riding her oldest daughter really hard. Her kid was on the parallel bars and Kate was yelling at her to keep her legs straight and DO BETTER!

At the end of the class, I come to find out that’s not even her kid. Oh, really Kate Gosselin 2.0. Really?

The hour-long class with her bullshit is mentally exhausting. She’s always yelling at her kids, including her 2 year-old, by their first and middle name and she even threatens to make them sit in the car.

It goes something like this…

Rachel! RACHEL GREEN! Sit down and watch your sisters! DO NOT get out of this chair again!

Phoebe! Phoebe! PHOEBE BUFFAY!! KEEP THOSE LEGS STRAIGHT! Phoebe?! Listen to me! If you don’t listen, I’m putting you IN THE CAR!

Rachel! RACHEL! Get off the step and SIT DOWN. Rachel, OFF THE STEP. Mr. Chanandler Bong doesn’t want you on the step. I will put you in the car until the class is over!

*Phoebe runs up and asks for some water* NO, you can’t have any. You need to practice your flips — AND KEEP THOSE LEGS STRAIGHT!

MONICA GELLER! Do that round off again! I want to see you DO BETTER! Monica! Monica! DO BETTER! KEEP THOSE LEGS STRAIGHT!


This plays out for most of the class.

I roll my eyes so much, I may need to start taking motion sickness pills before each class.

I usually sit there, looking at her like I would Bigfoot… with What The Fuck? curiosity and wishing I had a tranquilizer gun.

By the end of the class, she’s hemming and hawing about how difficult her kids are and how tiring this class is for her. Really, Kate, REALLY??!

I know from the rumblings in the class that other parents are also appalled by her behavior but I don’t think anyone really knows what to do about it.

Many times, I’ve been tempted to walk up to her and say “Excuse me, YOU go sit IN THE CAR!” Oh, how I wish I had the balls to do that.

Previously, I couldn’t understand when I would hear in the news about parents that get into shouting matches or even fist fights while at their kids extra-curricular activities but seeing the way Katie G is, now it makes a little more sense. If there were 2 of her in this class, I’m sure fists would fly from the competitiveness of the parents, not the kids.

On the up side, the little hummingbird is so fearless and rocks the class. She has such a natural athletic ability. I have a feeling this won’t be the last time I come across a parent like Katie G since the bird is looking forward to participating in other programs, like soccer.

Thankfully, this gymnastics class is almost over and I guarantee when I enroll the hummingbird in the next session, I will triple check to make sure that we don’t get in the same class that Kate “KEEP YOUR LEGS STRAIGHT AND DO BETTER!” Gosselin 2.0 will be in.

Have you ever spoken up to a parent over their behavior?


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16 Responses to The type A mom at gymnastics makes me want to hide in the corner, rock back and forth, and cover my ears as I yell La La La.

  1. Angie June 2, 2014 at 13:37 #

    Oh how obnoxious is she?! I would have to bite my tongue to stop from saying something to her. They are little kids. Just let them have fun and learn. I like that her response is to put the kid in the car. Is she going to leave the kid in the car and go back into the gym?
    Angie recently posted..Flying soloMy Profile

    • Elle June 5, 2014 at 19:41 #

      She drives me crazy! This past week’s class was the worst one yet. Thank god for xanax! 😉

  2. MsCrookedHalo June 2, 2014 at 15:52 #

    I am acquainted as a friend of a friend with a chick like this. She seems so disappointed when she learns that I don’t ride my overachieving kids the way she does hers. And yet my children are succeeding just as well as hers are…
    MsCrookedHalo recently posted..June 2014 GoalsMy Profile

    • Elle June 5, 2014 at 19:42 #

      Right on! I can’t imagine having that much pressure as a kid, doing an activity that’s supposed to be fun.

  3. Naomi June 2, 2014 at 17:18 #

    I was lucky that I got along with the rest of the gymnastics moms at my kid’s class. She’s switching to dance, so we’ll see if I can get along with the dance moms.

    PS I think our fish is retarded.

    PPS After talking to Daddy about how the ceiling fan is going at just the right speed to cool us off but not make all the receipts and other garbage fly around the room, the kiddo came to me and said, “Mommy, I want the ceiling fan to blow crap around since I’m not in there, now.”

    • Elle June 5, 2014 at 19:43 #

      Yeah, my daughter’s ballet class was much more easy going when it came to the parents.

  4. Carrie June 2, 2014 at 19:00 #

    Oh girl!!!!! Just wait it will get worst before it gets better. Like you said in the end, just wait until soccer. Bella does soccer and it is a rec team under 8. You are lucky if these kids kick the ball straight. And parents will scream. They actually make us sign a waiver as parents that we will not get involved in our children’s games.

    Fun, Fun!

    • Elle June 5, 2014 at 19:44 #

      Oh shit, I’m so screwed, 🙂

  5. Tess @ Tips on Life & Love June 4, 2014 at 17:15 #

    I don’t have kids, but I distinctly remember moms like these when I was young. No matter what class I was in, those helicopter parents would be there. This was why both my mother, and me preferred that she drop me off instead.

    • Elle June 5, 2014 at 19:45 #

      That sounds like a good idea! 🙂

  6. Lisa June 5, 2014 at 09:51 #

    And this is why therapists are rich.

    • Elle June 5, 2014 at 19:45 #

      Exactly! 🙂

  7. My Special Kind of Crazy June 6, 2014 at 16:00 #

    I was watching a little league game in our neighborhood a while back and there was a dad sitting in a lawn chair, on his iPhone, that would intermittently look up and say; “hey coach. COACH. Where do you think Joey should be? That guy at back can hit it hard to left- you should move him over.”
    He’d then go back to his phone. He never clapped, cheered or gave any encouraging words to ANYONE. Would just peer up from his iPhone every once in a while to tell the coach what to do.
    I would have deck him.
    I am not sure I will be able to keep my calm if I am in that situation….
    My Special Kind of Crazy recently posted..Cold Water Challenge Anyone?My Profile

    • Elle June 13, 2014 at 21:15 #

      Ugh, what a royal pain.


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