This week has been really rough. Baby Ben was supposed to be due this week. We lost him back in mid-March when I was 28 weeks pregnant. We had already lost him before he was born but we were able to see him afterwards.
We also got his prints which I haven’t looked at again until this week. I thought I would be able to handle setting out his ashes in the urn but when we received them, we locked them up in the safe.
The little hummingbird has been telling me lately that she really misses the baby that was in my belly. She often asks if I’m going to have another baby and the answer is I really hope so.
I have absolutely no idea when we’re going to try again but at the same time, I’m no spring chicken and don’t have a lot of time to wait. I’m also scared as hell when it comes to getting pregnant again.
I know I’ll be very happy if we just have our beautiful 5 year-old but I have made plenty of room in my heart for another child and I hope that gets filled.