Perfect Hair Woman

I’ve never liked my hair. It’s fine but thick and naturally curly, yet straight in some places. It’s a pain in the ass to do anything with. When I let it dry naturally, I look like the Bride of Frankenstein. When I use a blow dryer, it looks even worse and I feel like I have the most awful hair in the world.

My hair usually ends up frizzy and looks like cotton candy. I’ll either throw it in a ponytail or just give up and sob quietly while I eat a gallon of ice cream and watch the Lifetime Movie Network.

Since I was a little girl, I’ve had hair envy. I see women with long, thick, straight hair and I want that to be me. Look at Kate Beckinsale. Her hair is gorgeous.

Perfect hair woman.

Perfect hair woman.

Although, I’m sure she has a hair stylist at her beck and call who uses exotic treatments on her hair – like the oil derived from the skin of baby seals that can only be obtained once a year and costs thousands of dollars for a 1 ounce bottle.

The times when I’ve actually gotten compliments on my hair, I usually want to respond with “Thank you but just how much crack have you been smoking lately?”

As with everything else, the grass is always greener. If you have straight hair, you want to go curly. If you have curly hair, you want straight hair.

I have tried a countless amount of curling irons, straightening irons, hair extensions, shampoo and hair products, hoping one day I’ll get in that shower, wash my hair, dry it, and TA-DA… I’ll be “perfect hair woman”.

I’m always telling myself, maybe, just maybe my hair will magically become perfect and effortless.

Nope, it’s never going to happen.

Every morning, I stretch and bend my arms all over the place while I use a flat-iron. My arms get tired, I get hot, and the hair that I’ve already straightened will start to frizz. Fuuuck!

I discovered the Brazilian Blowout treatment a few years ago.

I have a great hairdresser who gives me a Brazilian Blowout every 3-4 months. It makes a HUGE difference and my hair’s more manageable but it can still be a pain.

Plus, I drop a few hundred dollars to do it. Eeek! Ssshh, don’t tell my husband how much it costs.

I know I’ll never be perfect hair woman but… damn it, it’s still not going to stop me from buying a 20 dollar bottle of anti-frizz serum from the salon.

Maybe, just maybe that will be what my hair needs.

And once I buy that magical hair serum or shampoo or deep conditioning treatment, I’m going to ride off into the sunset on my unicorn.

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9 Responses to Perfect Hair Woman

  1. Rachel June 16, 2014 at 19:28 #

    OMG! I could have written this myself as I have some of the same issues. The big difference is my hair is coarse. My aunt has pin straight hair that she spends forever on-curling. She is always on my case about my straightening my hair. Until she saw my hair after it had air-dried. Millions of tiny ringlets that turn into a lion’s mane of frizz if I walk by a brush. Good luck to you and your hair drama. If you find a less expensive method, please post.

    • Elle June 20, 2014 at 00:41 #

      Yeah, dealing with hair drama every day sucks! I usually think how great it would be to shave my head… as long as I never had to leave the house again. 🙂

  2. Naomi June 18, 2014 at 08:31 #

    My frizzy haired friend in high school did an awesome number on her hair with mousse. She washed her hair at night, put in in a pony tail with mousse and shaped it into one ringlet. The next morning, she combed her hands through it to make a bunch of nice, soft-looking ringlets instead of a frizzy wave.

    • Naomi June 18, 2014 at 08:31 #

      I’ve yet to find a mousse without perfume to try on my kid’s hair.

      • Elle June 20, 2014 at 00:47 #

        It’s not a mousse but when my daughter was younger, I used this on her hair to keep it out of her face… 🙂

        • Naomi June 23, 2014 at 10:13 #

          Nice! Mine’s hair is too long for that, now. If she gets a hold of scissors, we’ll look into getting that 🙂

  3. Megly Mc June 19, 2014 at 14:40 #

    I’ve totally given up and wear mine up almost all the time. I have the luxury (HA!) of being a teacher, so I just claim that my hairstyle is to prevent lice. Because THAT’S sexy.

    • Elle June 20, 2014 at 00:50 #

      Lol! RAWR!

      P.S. Can I just say how much I admire and respect teachers! xx

      • Megly Mc June 20, 2014 at 13:03 #

        Everyone loves us in the summer, when they have their kids back. EVERYBODY. lol Karma’s a bitch though, because it means we have our own kids back, and everybody knows teacher’s kids are the worst behaved.
        Megly Mc recently posted..Hello? CPS? Yes, There’s Been a Misunderstanding.My Profile

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