Book Review: The Mother Of All Meltdowns

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The Mother Of All Meltdowns is a collection of stories written by 30 bloggers who write about their very relatable “mommy meltdowns” when dealing with their children. The candid experiences these moms share will make you want to put everything else on hold while you dive into this delectable read.

From Lego stress and getting that precious liquid gold through TSA to Christmas flu and a fantastic powdered sugar fight.

It had me feeling much better when it comes to some of my own meltdowns I’ve had with my 5 year-old. One of my fondest moments came when I was in the parking lot of a grocery store just a few weeks shy of Christmas. My husband had run into the store for some formula and I was waiting in the car with my then 7 month old daughter.

In just a few short minutes, my little girl had one of the worst diapers I’ve ever smelled. Even though we were about 5 minutes from our house, I couldn’t take it and decided to change her in the car. There were several parking spaces all around us and after making sure the coast was clear, I popped out of the car with my butt in the air while I tried to set the record for the world’s fastest diaper change.

The passenger side door kept on hitting me in the back on the legs while I was changing my daughter’s diaper and I was simultaneously trying to keep a look out for cars while making sure there wasn’t contact with the loaded diaper and the car interior and trying to keep my baby happy.

All of a sudden I heard a man yell “Get your ass out of the way!”

Huh, me??

Oh yes, he was talking to me. Out of all of the parking spaces around us, this older man wanted the one right next to our car. I was in mid wipe and tried to scootch the car door closed as much as I could without slamming it on my ass. “Move your ass, lady!” Oh no, he didn’t!!

Tis ‘the season to be jolly!

My blood began to boil but I tried to remain calm. I replied by saying I’m right in the middle of changing my child’s diaper and I’m going as fast as I could. “That’s not my f*cking problem.”  is what I got in return.

Fa la la la la.

Trust me, I had a very clear thought of wiping my daughter up and then taking her poopy diaper and slamming it on this man’s car windshield. Then, I pictured my husband walking out of the store and seeing police cars and me in handcuffs, being charged with defacing property.

I’ll pass.

The man couldn’t finish getting in the parking space because my ass was hanging out of the back seat so he started revving up the engine of his car.

Joy to the world!

I have quite a mouth and can make a trucker blush but somehow I didn’t go off on this jerk. With my face hot and as red as fire, I yelled out “JUST GIVE ME A DAMN SECOND!!” and surprised myself with the lack of f-bomb’s. Who am I?

I was pissed beyond belief. Despite the several other parking spaces around, this man finally got into the one next to us and yelled at me the entire way as he walked into the store.

I still had that poopy diaper in my hand and wanted to grab my daughter and run after him, screaming and cursing him out while I went SPLAT with the diaper on his windshield. By this time, my head was exploding with rage and my daughter was crying. My husband finally came out of the grocery store and he saw me red faced with both me and my daughter crying our eyes out.

I’m pretty sure what I told him about the older man in the car made absolutely no sense but he calmed us both down. The huge glass of wine I had after we got home was a big help as well.

No matter what stage of motherhood you’re in, The Mother Of All Meltdowns will reasonate with you.

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