Well, as ready as one can be after losing a child.
After we lost Ben, it took some time to receive his ashes. When we finally got them, we quietly decided that the best thing to do at the time was to lock them in our safe.
While we didn’t speak the words, I think it was mostly because we weren’t ready to accept it. So there his ashes sat, locked away along with our feelings about such a tremendous loss.
Recently, I felt it was time to take them out. Time to slowly face what happened, as difficult as it is.
The loss is too great and I still can’t seem to find the words to express my grief.
The pain comes in waves and I think the reason that it happens that way is because if grief came all at once, it would be too overwhelming to handle.
So much more heartbreaking and devastating than it already is when dealing with this grief every day.
But I’m finally ready to take this first step.