Guest Post: This Is Motherhood

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This guest post comes from the fabulous Toni who you can find at Toni Hammer and she’s also a contributor at What The Flicka? Make sure to check out What I Say Vs. What My Kids Hear, 10 Ways To Annoy A New Mom, and What Toddlers Think Before Falling Asleep.

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Motherhood is changing your clothes seven times a day because your newborn won the silver medal in spitting up.

Motherhood is changing your clothes four times a day because your outfit is considered a giant kleenex.

Motherhood is throwing caution to the wind and just heading out into the world with stained clothes.

Motherhood is your coffee being spilled onto the carpet every day for a week until you rein in your mommy brain and remember to keep it out of reach of Tommy Touch Everything.

Motherhood is waking up at 1am (and 2 and 3 and 4) to hold and rock and cuddle a sick or teething baby.

Motherhood is waking up at 1am (or 2 or 3 or 4) to convince your toddler that it’s not time to be awake yet.

Motherhood is stepping on Cheerios a week after the box was empty and you’ve vacuumed roughly 72 times.

Motherhood is discovering cream cheese fingerprints on the top shelf of the DVD rack without any idea where they came from.

Motherhood is poop 24/7.

Motherhood is lying awake at night worrying your children won’t have anyone to eat lunch with at school… when they’re barely toddler age.

Motherhood is considering two showers a week a huge victory.

Motherhood is regretting teaching your daughter to call her pacifier a “suck” because she’s way too good at the “uck” sound.

Motherhood is screaming right along with your kids when you’re all having a bad day.

Motherhood is applauding your son when he takes his first steps.

Motherhood is realizing your world is over now that your son has taken his first steps.

Motherhood is stopping in the middle of a crosswalk to retrieve the doll your kid chucked out of the stroller.

Motherhood is giving your son a cookie at 10am because it’s adorable when he says “peeeease.”

Motherhood is eating your kid’s leftovers and calling it dinner.

Motherhood is dozing off on the couch and waking up to a toddler finger up your nose.

Motherhood is going to Target by yourself and feeling like you’re on a week long vacation.

Motherhood is misty eyes when your child says “love you, Mom” for the first time.

Motherhood is bawling your eyes out because this job is hard.

Motherhood is bawling your eyes out because this job is the best.

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Toni Hammer never planned on having kids, but she’s now a stay-at-home mom to Lily and Levi born 355 days apart. She chronicles her mommy misadventures at tonihammer.com, on Twitter and her Facebook page because she’s a social media addict. She contrinutes to Scary Mommy and What the Flicka and when her children are finally asleep, she works on her first book “Is It Bedtime Yet? Stories from a Mom Who Never Wanted the Job,praying a publisher will, ya know, buy it. She loves food she doesn’t have to cook or clean up and believes her out of control coffee consumption should be studied by science.

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