Just Eat Your Damn Dinner

a0721fa704838a78d19b5dcd5f443007My daughter is a tiny girl with a little appetite. Every once in a while she’ll chow down but it’s not often. She always, always, always has some reason why she won’t eat (as do many kids) and it drives me mad. She’ll come home from Kindergarten, say she’s STARVING, and will take just a few bites of her snack before she says she can’t eat another bite.

Then, an hour before dinner, I usually hear: Mom, I’m hungry. Mom, I’m hungry. Mom, I’m hungry. Well, you should have eaten your snack. But, I wasn’t that hungry then. It will be dinner soon. You’ll have to wait until then. But mooom, I’m hungry. Mom, I’m hungry. Mom, I’m hungry.

Finally, dinner will come and again, she’ll use every excuse in the book to not eat. The hummingbird is currently in a phase where every little scratch or bump is a major medical emergency so she’s been using those reasons a lot. There are many times when I want to scream JUST EAT!

I kind of feel like a hostage negotiator.

Me: Eat three more bites.

Hummingbird: How about one?

Me: No, three and then you can have a little treat.

Hummingbird: Can I still have a treat if I eat two more bites?

Me: No.

Hummingbird: But my tummy’s full.

Me: Then I guess you don’t have any room in there for a treat.

Hummingbird: How about one big bite?

Me: No. How about if you just take two more bites?

Hummingbird: But I just took a bite. Does that count?

Me: No. Two more bites.

Hummingbird: But then that will be three bites because I just had one.

Me: *Head Explodes*

Reasons My Kid Won’t Eat

10. I’ve got a scratch on my pinky and need a band-aid. Now, it hurts too much to pick up my fork.

9. I’m too tired.

8. I banged my foot on the stairs and broke my ankle.

7. My tummy’s tired.

6. I poked my finger in my eye and need ice.

5. Do you want a hot dog for dinner? Yes! Are you sure? Yes! Will you eat it? Yes! Sets her plate down. I don’t want a hot dog anymore. My tummy changed its mind.

4. I can’t eat because my leg hurts when I bend it. I think I broke my knee. Well, then don’t bend your leg. But I need a band-aid to make it feel better.

3. I didn’t want that plate.

2. I’m too cold to eat. Go put on a jacket. *Runs upstairs and comes back down a few minutes later in a whole new outfit… minus the jacket.* I’m still cold. Yes, because you forgot your jacket. Oh. *Puts on jacket.* Now I’m too hot.

1. I hurt the blood vessels in my foot.

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6 Responses to Just Eat Your Damn Dinner

  1. Angie January 7, 2015 at 10:42 #

    I have a similar conversation with my 4 year old every night. It is so frustrating!
    Angie recently posted..Race anxietyMy Profile

  2. My Special Kind of Crazy January 7, 2015 at 12:07 #

    Oh, you hit the nail on the head with this one! This is my dinner time conversation EVERY. NIGHT. Something is always too spicy. Something has green in it. Something is too hot. Something is too cold. Something is cut wrong. the plate is too big, too small, not pink enough. The lion cup doesn’t keep milk cold, the giraffe cup doesn’t make the milk taste right.
    OMG. EVERY. NIGHT.
    My Special Kind of Crazy recently posted..My Real ResolutionsMy Profile

  3. Stephanie January 7, 2015 at 15:57 #

    My husband used to argue that I shouldn’t tell our daughter how many bites to eat, but I’ve learned that if I tell her to just eat it, we’ll end up with me repeatedly telling her to just eat it. If I tell her how many bites to eat, no matter how outrageous the number, she’ll eat it. She loves to count things (we used to call her the little accountant), so I guess it’s just part of her nature.

    And what is the deal with little girls convinced they’ve broken things? At least twice a week my daughter tells me she’s broken her leg or her foot. Um, no, sweetie, if you’d broken something I’d be clued in by your excessive screaming.

  4. Janelle January 7, 2015 at 19:36 #

    haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Love, Your Mom

  5. marthaeliza January 7, 2015 at 19:54 #

    You can’t make them eat. You can’t make them poop. You can’t make them sleep. Repeating this, and taking copious amounts of Xanax, will get you through the next 15 years.

  6. Naomi February 1, 2015 at 18:02 #

    Then, 15 minutes after dinner, they’re racing to the kitchen looking for a snack….

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