After becoming a mom, I found that there’s a lot of multi-tasking and juggling to the point where your brain gets so overloaded with all of the things you need to do, places you have to go, and that damn Elsa crown you’re being begged to find in a sea of toys.
I’ll get to sorting all of this stuff out in my brain, then I’ll see something shiny and get distracted. After a few minutes, okay… longer, I often find myself thinking “Wait. What the fuck was I supposed to be doing??!” It won’t be until 10 minutes go by that the hummingbird yells “MOM? Did you find Elsa’s crown? MOM? I still haven’t gotten the glass of water you were getting me after lunch.”
Then I think “Oh, shit! Yeah. She asked me for a glass of water an hours ago. Ooops.”
Do I have a point to this? No. No, I don’t.
When you have a kid, your privacy and dignity go out the window. Forever gone. Thankfully, there are those times when your child gives you a good laugh and helps even things out. The hummingbird is now 6 and since Kindergarten, it’s amazing how she’s grown mentally and emotionally.
You think they grow fast when they’re babies but damn, when they start school, it’s at lightening speed. Which is great. Yep, it’s wonderful. Fabulous.
Excuse me while I go cry in the corner and bang my hands and feet on the floor, screaming “Why, sweet baby jeebus? WHY?!”
My baby girl is becoming a young lady. Fuuck.
The hummingbird may seem so grown up at times and her speech has greatly improved (while those aspects of myself seem to be deteriorating), she can still act like a silly, wild little hummingbird.
She always seems to ask why things are the way they are and may need help about what some words and sayings mean and that’s when the funny ensues.
Here are some examples of words and sayings she can mispronounce or might not be clear on.
Apple Dumplings = Apple Ducklings
Heartbeat = Heartbeep
Breakfast = Breksfust
And my favorite… chocolate = cocklate. Yes, cocklate (cock-let). It’s get me every time.
*At the check out in the store*
“Mom? Can I have some COCKLATE? Please?! That can be my only treat today. Pretty please? I’d really like some COCKLATE.
Inside, I’m laughing my ass off. When I can contain myself, I’ll say it back correctly. “Are you sure you want some chocolate for your treat?”
“Yes! Please? I really, really, really, really, really would like some COCKLATE.”
So, yeah. It’s funny and endearing to see that she is still little and won’t be learning to drive or moving into her own apartment next week, which is what it can feel like to me sometimes.
Recently, for an after school snack, she asked for a lightly toasted bagel with cream cheese.
But my 6 year-old asked for a “Politely toasted bagel with cream cheese.”
In the past several months, I would think she would soon grow out of her love of talking about poop, farts, and burps. Thankfully, I was wrong… for now.
Last night while cuddling, this went down and it’s actually a more frequent conversation that can last a few minutes.
Hummingbird: I farted while I was burping. Did you hear it?
Hummingbird: Do you smell it now?
Hummingbird: How about now? ……
It never crossed my mind that with all the things that motherhood entails, “fart smeller” would be one of them.