Orange Gatorade Is Considered A Fruit


I’ve been feeling lazy uninspired in the kitchen lately, plus we’ve been going at full speed ahead with the hummingbird’s extracurricular activities. She recently auditioned for a children’s play and rehearsals are three nights a week. Plus, there’s gymnastics and to make things even more oh my god I’m going to pull my hair out crazy, she has her bi-weekly girl scout meetings.

Dinner has been pretty craptacular lately since I don’t have much time to cook and I’m tired from being a taxi driver all week. I still try to give the bird plenty of fruits and veggies but then there’s the whole thing of not being able to have time to go to the store and finding in the fruit and veggie bins that the cucumbers I was going to give my kid has liquified in the bag or the blueberries have turned to mush.

As we were eating dinner one night at the end of the week, I was wiped out and just plain being lazy with dinner. I made chicken strips and french fries and thought about microwaving a veggie. Yes, just thought about it but said fuck it because we’d have to wait five more minutes for dinner and I was just over the day. I spaced out, the oven timer beeped, and I served up dinner.

That’s when I realized I didn’t make any veggies and thought about at least getting up and grabbing a handful of grapes for her but my ass wasn’t moving out of the chair. Because lazy. And exhausted. And holy fuck, I don’t know how long I’m going to make it through these rehearsals three nights a week for the next two months.

The bird didn’t care either way or notice but I got mom guilt because OH MY STARS, I’M NOT GIVING MY CHILD A BALANCED MEAL. I felt like all the sanctimonious mommies knew there was a mom out there who was taking the easy way out and they were going to come after me with pitchforks and torches. I don’t know why I get the guilt, especially when I let her have junk food that I said I’d never let her have before I became a mom.

As I was staring at her plate, I was giving myself the mom guilt trip and was looking over her plate. That’s when I thought to myself “We’ll she is having ketchup so, check, there’s the veggie. But the fruit, omg, the fruit?!! I can’t take this mom guilt so she needs a fruit of some kind!!!

While I was mom guilting myself to death over something so lame that I don’t normally trip out about, I eyed her glass. She was drinking gatorade, which was left over from earlier that day. And it was orange flavored.

So, that’s when I told my mom guilt trip to chill the fuck out, deduced that orange gatorade qualifies as a fruit, and finished my dinner in peace and mom guilt free.

*A Legend

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One Response to Orange Gatorade Is Considered A Fruit

  1. Mama and the City May 19, 2016 at 20:46 #

    We are going through something similar. I’m trying to pick a BBQ chicken or something ready-made the day of or before all the driving errands day.
    If family is well and loved, for that meal it should not be that bad mama.
    Mama and the City recently posted..The Five Stages of DilationMy Profile

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