Being Three: Who Pissed In Your Sippy Cup?


Being three. Holy shit. This was a tough age.

My kid would be so sweet one second and the next, had an attitude and looked at me like she was going to shoot lasers out of her eyes. I remember that it seemed impossible to make my 3 year-old happy.

It’s like me when I’m pms’ing and really want a snicker’s but all we have are peanut butter cups and I’m thinking fuck this, I want a snicker’s. That’s the attitude of a 3 year-old.

And the tantrums. Holy shit, the tantrums are epic. This is the age where vodka came into my life a little more frequently.

They really love to test the limits and figure out how to push your buttons.

But, there are the really cool things that balance it out. When they’re not throwing themselves on the ground screaming, they actually talk to where you can have conversations with them.

With my daughter and I, it was about poop because it made her laugh and my god, handling a 3 year-old is like handling a bomb so you love to hear a laugh from them. It’s much better than the ear-piercing screeching you have to deal with.

The hummingbird wasn’t a terror 24/7, like I’m making it sound. We got pretty lucky with her as she has a pretty even temperament. It could just feel like she was a devil on wheels through much of being three because when your kid acts like that, it feels like the moment is never-ending.

But then she would laugh at a poop joke and my sanity was restored for a short time.

*If You Ever Want To Be In Love

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2 Responses to Being Three: Who Pissed In Your Sippy Cup?

  1. WeezaFish May 23, 2016 at 09:34 #

    Best blog post title I’ve seen in ages 🙂 Poop jokes, they work with my boys also. As does any mention of ‘bums’ or ‘winkie’ *sigh*

  2. Dennis Schmalstig May 29, 2016 at 13:04 #

    My boy skipped the terrible twos and saved up all of his supplies of bad attitude and defiance for year three. He went on a long tear for about six months, briefly wised up long enough to give his parents a false sense of relief, and then did another three month stretch of imitating Damien from the movie, The Omen. Now he’s a well adjusted twenty-five year old who’s in grad school and plans to get married around Christmas. There’s always hope.

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