Step 1. Walk in the bathroom with dry clothes.
Step 2. Remove eye make up.
Step 3. Feel around for my skin cleanser since my eyes are stinging from the eye makeup remover and and I can’t fully open my eyes.
Step 4. Locate the cleanser. Wait a second. That’s the faucet handle.
Step 5. Finally find the cleanser.
Step 6. While still relatively dry, start washing my face.
Step 7. Rinse cleanser off my face.
Step 8. Have water run down over my elbows, dripping onto the floor and all over my shirt.
Step 9. Give my face a few more splashes.
Step 10. Get soaked.
Step 11. Feel around for the towel and have a moment of feeling nice because at least part of my body is clean since I haven’t had a chance to get a shower yet.
Step 12. Open my eyes and look around.
Step 13. See that my shirt is soaked and not just a little wet so I can’t give it a quick dry with the blow dryer.
Step 14. Notice that the counter is covered in water and splashed on the mirror.
Step 15. Go to the closet to get a dry shirt.
Step 16. On the way out of the bathroom, step into a puddle that was caused by my wild, flailing arms while washing my face.
Step 17. Take the hand towel and scootch it around on the floor with my feet to clean up the water.
Step 18. Change into a dry shirt.
Step 19. Dry off the counter with a towel while at the same time, giving me reason not to have to clean the bathroom for another week.
Step 20. Tell myself this is why I should only wash my face in the shower.
Step 21. When leaving the bathroom, step into another puddle of water.
Step 22. Accept that I’m a human hurricane when washing my face.