Shoo Fly, Don’t Bother Me

I don’t like my psychiatrist. I’m sure he’s an okay guy but he comes off as really cold. But, I deal with him since I don’t really have any other options.

I usually dread going to his office and leave there more stressed than when I went in. I’ve been having some severe anxiety and frequent panic attacks for months now and it feels like I’m slowly suffocating under the weight of this anxiety.

I was pouring my heart out to this psychiatrist at my last appointment and he started eating a banana. I always laugh at the worst times. Nervous laughter. Seeing him eat a banana combined with me feeling very emotional and in tears combined with the phallic shape of the banana combined with my mind is that of a 12 year-old boy equals laughter.

He gobbled down the banana while I composed myself and the tears started coming. He starts swatting at the air and I try to continue talking to the spastic display in front of me.

He took notice and said “It’s a fruit fly. Go on….”

At this point I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I had been practicing what I wanted to say to him for weeks. And, there he is, swatting with both hands with his arms flailing about.

I’m trying so hard to keep a straight face while he continues swatting at this fruit fly. I went back to being an emotional mess and my head was down. When I was about to tell him something really difficult, he slapped his knee and said “Got it!”

I looked up to see him wiping off the remains of the fruit fly in his hand.

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4 Responses to Shoo Fly, Don’t Bother Me

  1. anne nahm September 2, 2017 at 00:27 #

    Wow, he sounds horrible, and leaving more stressed than you go in is no way to spend your time and money. You deserve better than that 🙁

  2. Shalet Jimmy September 2, 2017 at 09:52 #

    Has he always reacted in the same manner? What about you? Are you comfortable consulting him?

  3. KarenLS September 2, 2017 at 12:22 #

    Change doctors!

  4. brandy September 5, 2017 at 18:34 #

    oh I’m so sorry! My visits would cost $200 a piece w/ $50 of that being my co-pay. I would be struggling to go back, cause if you have anxiety the idea of confronting him on needing his full attention during a session would seem overwhelming. I hope you do what is best for you, whether is be starting the process of finding anew doctor, taking a break with your family to help with the anxiety or being brave and attending your next session.

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