Bad Seeds

I bought a different brand of clementines recently, since they didn’t have halos and cuties. I have found through my 8 year-old that they are not the same. I repeat, they are not the same. Run for cover. The clementines I bought have seeds. Oh my god, the horror!

When I was a kid, I thought I had it tough because I had to watch commercials and sit for long periods of time to record a song on the radio that the dj would be talking through.

I had to work my ass off when making mixed tapes. It took time and dedication. To top it off, that mixed tape I would work so hard on would get stuck in the player and the tape would come out.

Sometimes it was salvageable just by sticking a pencil in one of the holes of the cassette tape and rewinding it.

So, no, I didn’t have to walk 10 miles to school with a broken leg when I was younger but damn it, if I wanted to know who played that actress in the movie with that other actress, I couldn’t just Google or look on imdb. I had to suffer through not knowing until 20 years later.

That’s hardship, ya’ll.

I was giving my daughter a snack and while she was fast forwarding through the commercials of the show she was watching on the DVR, she sighed.

“Ugh. These aren’t halos. They have seeds. I don’t like these kind.”

“Oh, cry me a damn river.”

Okay, I didn’t say it but that’s certainly what I was thinking.

Instead, I was able to use my “when I was younger” lines.

When I was younger, we had to watch commercials.

When I was younger, we used a thing called a landline.

When I was younger, people thought and still think mullets are a smart life choice.

When I was younger, I had to eat whatever my mom cooked.

When I was younger, my family couldn’t afford the kinds of food we eat now.

When I was younger, my family could only afford to go clothes shopping once a year.

Before I could drive my daughter crazier, she stopped me and said “Okay, the seeds aren’t that bad.”

She ate the clementine with those icky, bad, and horrendous seeds that were causing her to have a bad clementine experience without any more complaints.

Mission Accomplished!

Now, does anyone have a pencil I can borrow?

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One Response to Bad Seeds

  1. erin October 13, 2017 at 16:11 #

    Hilarious! Oh, so true! I was organizing the mudroom the other day- translation: I was organizing the mudroom AFTER I asked my kids to clean out their lockers so I wouldn’t have to organize the mudroom. Sigh. I had asked the kids to remove sandals and shoes that no longer fit so I could put them in a storage bin in the basement or donate them. I was still tripping over the mountains of shoes that they are incapable of kicking under their locker. (I purposely had the mudroom designed without doors or drawers on the bottom cubby, so they would have no excuse if they didn’t put their shoes away. Sigh – again!). As I sorted their shoes I explained to my daughter that when I was a kid we only owned a pair of sneakers and a pair of school shoes (I attended Catholic school and wore a uniform). When I was in junior high, a pair of flats was purchased but I often had to share those with a sister, whose feet were smaller. Of course.

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