Heart Beep

When my daughter was younger, she would say heart beep instead of heart beat. She said it quite a bit after she received a doctor’s kit for Christmas one year. Every time she said heart beep, I thought it was beyond cute. Those are the times when I actually miss the toddler years.

I’ve been in medical hell for almost 2 years now. My body decided to freak me out even further by getting pneumonia, ending up in the ER two days later because I couldn’t catch my breath, landing in the ICU for a few days, and spending another 3 days in the hospital.

Instead of what we thought was an asthma attack ended up being fluid in my lungs, which also affected my heart. I was born with a congenital heart defect so I’ve always had to have yearly check-ups with a cardiologist. I had open heart surgery when I was five and since then, I’ve been good to go.

Until now.

Basically, the doctors I’ve been seeing say a lot about what could be causing the issue but I’m gonna go with my instinct and say I don’t think they know what’s going on for sure. I’m being referred to two physicians in the “city”. Since I’ve been out of the hospital, I have been terrified to do almost anything because I worry that I’m going to overdue it and then drop dead.

I feel so old right now.

So, that surgery I was going to be having at the end of the month to remove salivary stones has been put on pause.

This whole thing sucks. I worry I’m going to be dead in a year thanks to my ever-present anxiety and depression. And that, my friends, is what I’ve been doing for the month of November.

I will now shut it with all these medical problems or I’m going to have to change my blog to This Is Senior Citizenhood.

Dear, 2018.

You’ve gotta up your game and do A LOT better!

*No Roots

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2 Responses to Heart Beep

  1. Charlie November 30, 2017 at 01:38 #

    So sorry to read this. Wishing you speedy answers and an even speedier recovery

    • Joleen December 3, 2017 at 17:41 #

      Thank you, Charlie. 🙂

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