I Had No Idea A Toothbrush Like This Existed. It’s Like One Step Away From Cleaning My House Except The Asshole Who Designed It Forgot To Program That Option.

My husband brought home an electronic toothbrush which I imagine however much he paid, it would be able to feed an entire village of people.

I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. The hubby has been having issues with his teeth…. something about pockets and how the dentist just can’t deep clean his teeth in the proper way.

My husband’s teeth are being very difficult, so his teeth get this toothbrush that blows my mind.

I recently got a new car after having my old one for many years so I wasn’t used to all this high tech techi-ness that are in newer cars.

When we went to look for cars, the salesman would go on and on about the cool features and I was just standing there wondering if the turn signal and brake pedal is in the same spot. That’s all I give a shit about. This car has a back up camera, uh, and, uh, a lot of other shit that I don’t even understand.

When did I get so old?!

I do love the camera. That’s what really made me love this SUV but, I’m also impressed with the car radio volume control button that’s on the steering wheel.

Obviously, it doesn’t take much to make me happy.

I feel like a fucking rock star when I’m blasting the radio and can just press the mute button because Eddie Vedder is pissed about something and I can’t concentrate when he’s so angry and when I’m making a left hand hand turn on an unprotected light.

“Clearly I remember picking on the boy, seemed a harmless, little fuck. But, we unleashed a lion”…. MUTE.

UNMUTE… “King Jeremy the wicked, ruled the world. Jeremy spoke in class today.”

I love my car!

But, meanwhile… my husband’s toothbrush actually has an app and a phone holder that he stuck on the mirror.

Seriously, when did brushing teeth get so complicated?

There my husband is, brushing his teeth night after night playing with his app and synching his phone with his super fancy toothbrush.

If they can make a toothbrush this fantastical, it should be able to clean my house, damn it!

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One Response to I Had No Idea A Toothbrush Like This Existed. It’s Like One Step Away From Cleaning My House Except The Asshole Who Designed It Forgot To Program That Option.

  1. the gold digger December 14, 2017 at 09:07 #

    If they can make a toothbrush this fantastical, it should be able to clean my house, damn it!

    Yes! Same thing with jeans that cost $150! For that kind of money, they should not only clean my bathroom but they should make my ass look like I am 15 years old – and a hot, shapely 15 years old at that.

    Maybe they do. But I would rather pay my mortgage than have a good-looking ass, so I buy my jeans at Goodwill for $7.50.

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