Second Grade

It was rough last year when my daughter was in second grade. While I have the absolute highest respect for anyone that works with children since that shit isn’t easy, my daughter’s teacher and the hummingbird didn’t quite mesh. The bird completely adored her teacher but her teacher seemed to have some harsh things to say about the bird.

We also heard nothing but RAVE REVIEWS about this teacher from every-fucking-body who heard her name. So, I was confused about how she talked about my daughter the way she did.

I don’t mean to make a big deal about it but it still bothers me after over a year. This was one of those unexpected situations I’ve had since being a parent. Of course, every day as a parent deals with unexpected situations.

When we walked into “Mrs. Second Grade’s” classroom for our first parent/teacher conference, I went in expecting nothing less than how cooperative and attentive the hummingbird is.


She dived right in to tell us how the bird takes her time with each task and doesn’t “transition” from task to task as expected.

I’m not making excuses, but kids. move. so. fucking. slow.

So, I was baffled at how annoyed Mrs. Second Grade was. She actually said “Please, tell me how to handle your daughter?”



What the fuck, lady?

I’m sorry if she takes her time to do things right the first time.

Counting preschool, we’ve heard nothing but positive things and constructive criticism about our daughter which I’ve taken to heart. But never anything so grim sounding, like our kid is a disaster and doesn’t know how to handle my child because she doesn’t always jump to attention.

Yes, she’s as slow as a snail but what kid isn’t? Oh my god, they move like they’re sinking in quicksand. It’s like pulling teeth in the slowest possible way ever when it comes to kids getting ready for school, or going to an activity, or getting dressed, or brushing their teeth… etc.

Yet, this teacher made it seem like that was the strangest thing for a kid my daughter’s age. Sure, I get frustrated on a daily basis with my little snail but I’m around her friends and they also take time to do things. You have to remind them 10 times when it comes to practically anything.

Especially, when a play date comes to an end. We have to give at the very least, 20 minutes to prepare to depart from one another.

Even then, it usually takes an additional 10 minutes to say goodbye.

Anyway, it was very frustrating for the bird’s teacher to be so down on her. I don’t doubt at all that Mrs. Second Grade is a great teacher. I do know, however, that when my husband volunteered at our daughter’s school last year for a handful of teachers, he said that while helping out with the class, Mrs. Second Grade reminds him of the drill Sargent he had in Officer Candidate School.

I know part of it is also the fact that this teacher went straight to the negative things about my then 6 year-old. Seriously, though. She was only 6 years-old.

If I may speak freely, that is such bullshit. A teacher being so hard on a kid at such a young age. When I was six, one of my favorite things was sniffing crayons and wishing they were edible.

My daughter still talks about that teacher with such love and I just hold my tongue.

I have to say it again.

She was just 6 years-old. My aspirations for my kid at that age were not to fart at the dining room table and to wash her hands… WITH SOAP. You have to add the soap part.

The teacher she has now is a much better match, thankfully. I was so nervous about this parent/teacher conference but then I ended up in the hospital so I missed it. What my husband told me was so much different than what we heard three times last year.

The hummingbird is working really hard, too. She’s getting extra help in math. I’m guessing it’s because common core math is such a fucking nightmare. I was even having trouble explaining her second grade math to her and trying to understand what the fuck they’re doing and why they’re making math more difficult than it should be.

The bird also had 4 fucking torturous nights of homework in second grade every week. I know it will just become more work as she gets older but she has less homework in third grade than she did last year. Thank you, sweet baby jebus!

Because if there’s ever a time for yelling and tears for both of you, it’s during your kid’s homework time.

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4 Responses to Second Grade

  1. KarenLS January 18, 2018 at 21:13 #

    My son had a similar teacher many years ago when he was in 5th grade. My son was very disorganized and his teacher just couldn’t handle it. Again, rave reviews from other parents and teachers and the school principal. He is now 38. I asked him recently what he remembered about that year. He didn’t have any particular memories of it. I know it scarred me forever. Take heart that your daughter will probably be fine even though it’s hard for you.

  2. Danielle January 18, 2018 at 21:23 #

    “Please, tell me how to handle your daughter?”

    I don’t know, teacher lady. Have some patience? Stop trying to fit all kids into one neat box?

  3. Christie January 22, 2018 at 16:11 #

    Homework in elementary school is a crock of shit. I am all for having kids read at home and keep a reading log, and even work on a project that corresponds with what they are learning e.g. go out and look at the moon an draw what you see for 2 weeks. That I can get behind. But the random math worksheets? No thank you. I mean, we have our daughter do them, but i think it is ridiculous. Have them go outside and play with their friends and climb a tree and pretend they are Hermione Granger. THAT is what kids need to do when they come home from school.
    Sorry your parent teacher conference was so painful- as an educator, even if you have a difficult child (which the Bird does NOT seem to be), you start with the positive, b/c with kids there is ALWAYS a positive.

  4. Pip January 26, 2018 at 16:45 #

    I work in schools and there is too much pressure on kids to do their best at such a young age, and, I have come across some seriously crap teachers in my lifetime.

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