I’ve written before about how much I can’t stand Facebook but I just can’t quit it. I can’t quit you, Facebook! You bastard!
I certainly had plenty of moments of over sharing on it and there’s really no point in this sentence since I forgot where I was going with it so let’s move on, shall we?
A few posts ago, I mentioned a married family member who needs to eat a sandwich and quit fucking other people. She’s been jumping on other dick faster than I go through a box of tissues during allergy season which is all year for me so boo for that. Not her dick jumping. My allergies. Actually, boo to both.
I’m on Benadryl so I’m not making any sense.
This family member went back to her husband and now they’re constantly posting gag-worthy FB status updates. She’s been cheating on him throughout the marriage and even admitted she has no reason at all to stay married because she knows she’ll continue to cheat.
They are always tagging each other if they put up a puke song about their love or anything from pics of them together to rants about how the husband isn’t putting up with anyone messing with his woman or driving a wedge between him and her.
Bless his little heart. If he only knew that the “wedge” he’s talking about is the men Mrs. Dickjumper jumps on.
These FB updates can be creepy as fuck but for some reason people are eating it up. One post that made me think WTFuckbook? was when he took a photo of how he spelled out “I Love You” on their bed that just a few weeks before was where he caught her in there with another man.
May I just add that “I Love You” was spelled out in bullets.
I love You spelled out in bullets on the bed?
Is this a thing I didn’t know about? People loved that post and had comments like “how sweet” or “nothing says I love you like bullets”. Granted, they live in the South and are gun enthusiasts but…
He spelled I Love You IN BULLETS. This is like being in the middle of a creepy as fuck Lifetime movie. This isn’t normal in the world I live in. If I came home to that, I wouldn’t stop to take photos. I’d run out the damn door.
He also made a big heart on a wall with post-its.
The dude would be screwed if he fucked with my post-its. That’s definitely where I draw the line. I’m OCD about having post-it notes around the house in case I need to write something down. If my man used up my post-its, I would freak and make him put the post-its back together.
Then, I would post a picture of it on Facebook. #blessed