One of my favorite pics of all time. Me and my baby sister. I’m sure I was thinking get this grabby, slobbering kid away from me through that smile.
I’m only halfway through this pregnancy and I feel huge, can’t stop getting sick, have boobs that would rival a porn star, my ass hurts from hemorrhoids that I didn’t have with my first.
I can’t stop drinking lemonade, my ass is killing me, I don’t have a glow but people seem to think I do because that’s only when I’ve puked my guts out right before they see me and there’s a rush of blood to my face.
I get up 2-3 times a night to pee, did I mention how much my ass hurts?, I’m already sleep deprived, my back is freaking killing me, I can’t get up out of a seat without groaning, and I’m horny all the fucking time.
I feel this little one kicking and spinning around but damn it, there better be a baby in there!!
Growing a human is hard work!
I’m dreaming about Doogie Howser. And driving cars. And explosions and bombs. And almost drowning. And driving more cars. And almost sinking on the Titanic with Doogie. And fires.
I feel like that chick, Nancy, in the original Nightmare On Elm Street except unfortunately my boyfriend isn’t Johnny Depp. Booo! “Whatever you do, don’t go to sleep!”
The other night, I was dreaming I was driving around on a scooter and picked up Neil Patrick Harris to go cruising around. We took a wrong turn and ended up on the set of Titanic when it was flooding and we’re able to drive off the ship at the last minute.
Last night I dreamed that I was in maybe the CIA or FBI and everybody ended up being double agents, including me. There was this big shootout and for some of us to save ourselves, we had to jump into the ocean.
That’s when stingrays started to come to the surface of the water and proceeded to chomp on our feet.
Other dreams I’ve had are way to grotesque to even describe. When I looked up the meaning of some of these dreams, it seemed to say that I’m having anxiety of giving birth… water breaking and all of the blood from labor, perhaps?
Another dream I had was I was driving downtown and was in this monster SUV. There was a parade going on and as I was rounding a corner to park, a pomeranian jumps out at me and I have to slam on my brakes. Then, I go in a loop and it starts all over. I’ve had that dream more than once.
I’ve been dreading going to sleep and sometimes wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning, scared out of my mind from some of these really gruesome and really vivid dreams.
I think I may have to start watching Ryan Gosling and Mark Ruffalo movies before bed. Yeah, even if they don’t help my dreams become less scary, they’re great eye candy.
What are some freaky ass dreams you’ve had?
Lock the doors!
Board the windows!
Run for cover!
Bend over and kiss your ass goodbye!
It’s the In-Law Apocalypse!!!!
My FIL kept on telling us about his Medicare policy and then seemed to forget he told us because he would then tell us all over again. Also his laugh, oh dear god, he laughs like Marty McFly’s dad, George, from Back To The Future. The in-laws are devoid of humor but anything my husband says makes them go into hysterics. I really don’t get it.
My MIL was her usual bitchy self and mostly I would give a long fuckyoubitchthisisnotyourhousesofuckoff sigh with whatever bitchy thing she said.
I found the best way to deal with them was by directing my attention somewhere else.
So, every time my father-in-law would try to give me one of his long ass lectures about who the hell cares what, I would either pretend I wasn’t hearing him and then walk off or say “oh, that’s nice” and tell my husband something so it would zip up the guy.
What I just don’t fucking get with the in-laws is that they’ve already invited themselves for their next visit.
They want to be here for weeks with the baby bird.
That’s something I was talking to my therapist about, a wonderful woman, and she has me learning about “mindfulness“.
She told me there’s absolutely no reason I should feel guilty about letting the in-laws know that they don’t need to be here for weeks and that I need to think about what’s best for me… without feeling like such a bitch.
This is what I’ve needed to hear for years. I always think I’m depriving my husband of time with his parents and then I feel a lot of guilt but like Dr. Mindful says, I need to put our best interests first and not be run by the in-laws.
Every time the in-laws visit, it puts me under incredible stress, ha… like you couldn’t tell… and I really don’t want them here right after the baby bird is born. I really want to have the 4 of us to get in the groove first and bond, not have the in-laws here from the get go. They will be so much more of a hinderance to us than a help anyway.
Sure, I can deal with them being here (okay, not really) for a few days (nope), but fuck me backwards, not for weeks. I’m still baffled by how freaking oblivious my in-laws are when it comes to… everything! Personal space, boundaries, being assholes, you get my point.
So, thanks to Dr. Mindful, I’m starting to figure out how to say no, especially to the visits with the lecture man and the bitchy mcbitchster.
Monday is the big day. It’s the first ultrasound for the baby bird. I am fucking terrified. I can’t stop thinking about the what ifs? I admit I’ve been a nervous wreck since I found out I was pregnant last month. I can’t bear the thought of finding out something is wrong… another miscarriage.
When I went to see my ob/gyn a few weeks ago, after asking some basic questions, she stopped and then asked what could she do to help me calm my nerves and feel more relaxed. She also gave me a hug.
I was fucking floored and wanted to cry after that. In a good way.
I NEVER experienced that kind of compassion when I was pregnant with the hummingbird and had to go to the military hospital in Bethesda and dealt with all of those asshole military doctors.
It finally feels like I’m healing from Postpartum PTSD after all this time. This pregnancy experience has been unbelievably better already and I feel like I actually have some say in these things, unlike last time when I just felt like I was ordered around with very little explanation.
Dr. Awesome even set me up to have my 20 week ultrasound along with a consultation for a VBAC with a clinic in Portland. Even if I don’t get the natural delivery I’ve been wanting since I was pregnant with the hummingbird, my doctor has already proven that I can trust her which is such a relief to me.
So, I don’t know why I’m still such a nervous wreck but I’m hoping that once I finally see the baby bird on the ultrasound, all of these nerves will finally settle down so I can enjoy the hell out of this pregnancy. Both the good and the bad that comes along with it… even the awful and constant morning sickness.
The baby bird has been doing really well and I have my first ultrasound in a week and a half. I think I’ll feel much more relief that everything’s okay once I see him/her, The hummingbird is going along with us since it’s a late appointment and I was talking about it with her. She was mostly concerned about how loud it was going to be.
I told her we’ll hear the heartbeat but it shouldn’t be too loud. Then, after talking with her for a while, I found that her main concern was hearing the baby cry in my tummy. Lol.
I’ve been really, REALLY sick because of my constant morning sickness which is why my blog has been sparse lately. I met my ob/gyn earlier this week and she put me at ease, which is a huge change from when I was pregnant with the little bird.
One thing my doctor told me was that I have hyperemesis gravidarum (excessive morning sickness). At first it sounded like a spell from Harry Potter. She was concerned that I’ve lost too much weight in the past few weeks and basically told me to eat whatever I want to bring my weight back up. A woman’s dream, right? Except pretty much everything makes me sick or doesn’t sound appetizing at all.
Of course that would be the case. Being told you can eat WHATEVER you want when you can’t even keep anything down. The only thing I can really keep down are strawberries, blueberries, and iced tea. So, I’m sure the weight will be back up in no time. Ha!
I have an anti-nausea I’m on but it’s been doing very little. Dr. Awesome will see how I’m doing at my ultrasound check-up and go from there. I’ve been trying my hardest to eat what I can because after reading about hyperemesis gravidarum, it seems if it gets too bad, they may put you on bed rest or maybe even hospitalize you. Here’s hoping this morning sickness stops being such an asshole.
My husband and I are having a date night in Boston on Friday. The hummingbird is staying the night over at a neighbor’s which will be the first time ever. She seems excited and I’m freaking out at the thought of not being able to give her good night kisses and checking in on her before I go to bed. I know she’ll be fine though. But I am a little worried that she might not be and will want to go home the same night.
I remember a few sleepovers when I was little and got really homesick, so I had my mom pick me up. Of course with us being in Boston, that will be hard to do but cheers to all going well.
I’m trying to write more and do it more frequently again but this crappy nausea is really kicking my ass big time. I just don’t remember it being so severe when I was pregnant with the little hummingbird. I really miss writing and I’m going to start forcing myself to write anyway, no matter how bad I feel since writing has always made me feel better in the past.
And no, I promise I won’t tell you how many times I had to stop writing this little post because I’ve gotten sick. le sigh.
I keep having to tell myself this means the baby bird is growing and getting stronger every day and that it will be so worth it at the end.
Or as I would actually title it, “Hey there, Bitchy Fuckface McStuffin Muffin”.
Who’s the bitchy fuckface??
I’ve been prayin’ to the porcelain gods pretty frequently because of my never-ending morning sickness and I also got my daughter’s cold so I’ve been a ball of super fun recently!
It’s had me avoiding posts on my blog since I’m in such great spirits. This pregnancy has also left me feeling like I’m going to drop into a coma at any time. I’ve never felt this tired before, ever. zzzzzz.
And I completely forgot about the really weird and vivid dreams I have when growing a person. Holy shit, they are so bizzare. I only remember them for a few minutes after I wake up and then poof… they go away.
I just end up with bits and pieces then but if I even tried to piece them together, you’d think I was hitting the crack pipe.
There is good news though. I’ve been getting my pregnancy hormone levels checked and they have been really good so far. Yay!
So, I’ll keep this short before my bitchy fuckface starts coming out. :^)
Follow @thisismommyhood on Twitter
- Toddler PMS.
- Guest Post
- How my MIL ruined my wedding and made me want to set myself on fire just so I could get away from her crazy.
- My daughter's possessed my little pony doll is going to come to me one night and eat my face off.
- This Is Why You Shouldn't Try To Pick Your Brain.
- This makes me feel like I'm having a bad acid trip in the middle of a real life Twilight Zone epidode.
- Pregnancy sucks… and then it doesn't… and then it does… and then you just want that baby out.
- I could never be a pediatric dentist because I'd probably end up fingerless and have to hold my dental instruments with my feet but nobody would want to go to a fingerless dentist so really I'm saving money and years of having to go to dental school.
Take a look back
Looking for something?
©This Is Mommyhood 2010-2013
Powered by WordPress. Designed by