Boys will be boys who sniff their armpits to evaluate if a shower is in order. Dudes who put empty milk carton back in the fridge. For kicks they kill ants with a magnifying glass. Over time these boys grow into young men on the verge of adulthood. They are no longer interested in Star Wars figures or watching Disney flicks. Having lived my whole life as a girl I may not be totally educated on what is a boy. I do know the difference between a boy and a man.
I comprehend the curiosity about sex. Everyone can recall the first time those thoughts started to bang around in brains. The naked statue in the art store resulted in pointing and giggling. An older kid using a sexual term sends a jolt to boy’s innocence.
My brothers as youngsters would huddle in a corner of the local library and peruse at that book called ‘the joy of sex.’ Do we as parents spend too much time worrying about girls and their body and self esteem issues? Are boys being neglected? Pornography gives an unrealistic idea to boys as to what sex is. Am I an expert? No! To be candid, I can still count the number of people I have been around the block with on one hand. As a woman, I feel compelled to give an education lesson to these poor misguided young boys.
1. Sex isn’t really that random- In these adult movies, the scenario is usually the same. Some mailman, doctor, manager, flight attendant, etc are chilling out when some busty and frisky chick happens on by. Usually there is little conversation that doesn’t involve obscenities. Funky, cheesy music starts playing and it is ON. Realistically it takes more than a smile and a hunky guy to get women in the mood. I certainly don’t reward my mailman in that fashion! While there is something called instant attraction, it takes more conversation to make it all the way. Women adore a guy that makes her laugh and wants to know about her. Like for starters her name.
2. Sex isn’t always earth shattering- Elaine from Seinfeld said it best “fake, fake ,fake.” I’m sorry to crush the notion that women climax during every time she has intercourse. Honestly, it takes understanding each other’s bodies and asking questions as to what feels good. All women ‘fake it’ at one point or another. It is about time management. We have things to do and places to be. We have to get up early in the morning. I’d put money on it that Crystal Glass (the name I made up), the blonde nurse in the adult movies, is faking. As a serious ‘actress’ she probably tired of screaming the oh’s and oh my gods.
3. Women are not contortionists- Some women who have been in the ‘business’ a long time are very uh..bendy. They appear to love having their body manipulated like that. Truth be told, the women probably don’t like it (see number 2). While it is fun to be open to new things, and healthy to experiment, women know what they will not do. No matter how much a man begs. Unless women are similar to Gumby, who is green and has a horse name pokey (insert obvious joke). I don’t predict scenes from adult movies being tried out. Sorry fellas.
I’m not trying to make the male species feel bad about pornography. It can be a good way to spice up a relationship or get through a lonely period. I just want young men to realize what they see in adult films or on regular films is not realistic. How would they feel if women held men to those standards? We as women know not every man is hot and well endowed. It takes getting to know someone to feel a spark of interest. What one person labels as not good looking is good looking to someone else. Love and sex takes time. Knowing this and respecting women is what makes a boy transform into a man.