Springtime. The sun is shining. The weather’s nice. Flowers are blooming. There are baby animals everywhere. Motherfucking birds are chirping their little asses off. Black flies are out to get me. Ants are on a mission to take over my entire kitchen. It starts getting hotter and boob sweat is prevalent.
It’s actually one of my fave seasons and after our first winter in Maine, I’m welcoming it with open arms. Before I know it, Summer will be here and I’m not a fan. So, I’m enjoying my pre-Summer time.
I hope you’re enjoying it too.
*This is really gross.
As long as I’ve been with my husband, 19 years, he always has a big bowl of baby carrots whenever we have pizza.
Fine, no biggie, right?
CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH, motherfucking CRUNCH!
It’s one of those teeny tiny relationship things that doesn’t seem like a big deal but drives me up the wall after all of these years. Crunch, crunch, crunch is what I hear for what feels like forever.
While we were having pizza the other night, the hummingbird was chewing a carrot and started gagging. The closest thing to me was the big bowl of carrots, filled to the brim.
Gross Alert… she puked in the carrot bowl.
After she finished, my first thought was YES, there go the carrots!!
Yay, I didn’t have to hear that carrot crunch for once!
Thank you, my pukey 4 year-old. Thank you.
I was going to try to keep this on the down low but I’m so excited as well as very nervous and anxious. It’s difficult to keep this quiet for the next few months since I love to overshare… for better or worse.
If all goes well this time around, the hummingbird is going to be a big sister. Fingers and toes crossed!
We were planning on waiting to try again early next year but my birth control pill had another fail. Whoops! I was taking it every day at the same time every night. Didn’t miss once… that I know of.
For the people I know in real life who read my blog, I would greatly appreciate it if you could keep this quiet for now. Mwah!
But I wanted to share this news with all of you who have been such wonderful support since the loss I had in July and beyond. I sincerely mean it and thank you all. You’ve all been so kind and absolute sweethearts.
Love ya! xoxo
Now that I’m getting more settled here, I’m starting to see how gorgeous it is. One thing that amazes my husband and I is that the sky is incredible in Maine. Most days, it looks like the clouds have been photoshopped.
I know, it’s just some clouds but I find it to be pretty damn spectacular. And the sunsets are like no other.
*Real Quick… I’ve been using the nickname hummingbird for my daughter and of course the hubby for who else? My hubby. I’ll still call them that but I’d like to use regular names for them from time to time. Because of my anonymity, needless to say, I can’t do that. So, you get to pick the name I’ll use for them in future posts.
For the “fake name” choices, they are Poppy and Ava for the hummingbird. For the husband, it’s Ryan (for Ryan Gosling, of course) or Eric. Vote in the comments!
Fine. This is getting away from my regular bitching and snark and may be too sickly sweet for some people. If that happens, drink a shot of tequila every time you see the word “love”, even if you’re at work. I counted 9, by the way, including “lub”. But I could be wrong as math was and will always be my worst subject.
Here are some of the things that the hummingbird currently does that pull on my heartstrings.
1. I love how she doesn’t quite know how to say her F’s yet. She’ll say “my pinger” or “are you making pood?” Or when she asks me “mommy, why did you just say “pucker?” while I’m driving.
2. How she gets so excited by the smallest things. I bought her a few pairs of sunglasses at Gymboree last month and as we were walking back to the car, she told EVERYBODY she passed that “mommy bought me sunglasses!”
3. I love that I can easily make her laugh.
4. I love how when I call her a stinker, she says “I’m not a stinker, I’m hummingbird”. Subs with her real name, of course.
5. As many mommy fuck-ups I feel like I have, she has so much patience and love for me.
6. She says “I lub you!”
7. I love how she picks her outfits out by herself and love seeing what she comes up with.
8. She seems to look at the world with so much joy and hope. It helps me to look past the bad.
9. How she greets me when I pick her up at preschool.
10. I love how silly she is and her sense of humor.
11. I love that I helped create this incredible and beautiful person and still can’t believe that she came from my body. Am I the only one that still thinks that’s so weird? That you actually create a person. Even after 4 years, it’s still is something that’s hard for me to believe. My mind will always be boggled by that.
I think it’s so important to take a look at the things we love about our children because in everyday life, it’s so easy to get caught up in bullshit and we forget to see the wonderful side of our little hummingbirds.
What’s the first thing that comes to mind that makes you crazy in love with your children?
Now to clear your palate. From The King’s Speech. Love!
Just like most other things, this didn’t go as planned. Earlier today, I thought I would make this sidewalk chalk paint, sit on our patio and watch my 4 year-old paint, and relax a little while doing so.
I let the hummingbird help me make the chalk paint and we went outside.
I got her all set up, walked in for the camera, and a few minutes later, she accidentally knocked over the pan with the paints.
She took off her shoes and stomped around in it. My anal side came out and I thought “nooooo, this isn’t the way it’s supposed to go”.
Then I saw how much fun she was having and took the stick out of my ass. I enjoyed watching her stomp around in the paint and make footprints.
She ended up covered in the stuff and it was a quick bath since dinner was almost done. While I started writing this, I realized that it’s usually better when things don’t go as planned and most of my favorite memories are of those unplanned moments.
My point. If you’re a perfectionist like me and want EVERYTHING to always go right, push yourself a little and go outside the box.
Enjoy these unplanned moments that will most likely become some of your and your child’s favorite memories.
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