Archive | pictures RSS feed for this section

Home

After 20 years of being a navy wife and fifteen moves, we’re finally home. It’s so foreign to me that we will be living here for years to come. And hopefully, we’ll never have to move again. Some of you have asked for pictures of the house and also any decorating. This is the first time I’ve ever cared about decorating and I’ve been taking my time. We have quite a bit of space to decorate.

I can't believe we live here. A view of the living room.

I can’t believe we live here. A view of the living room.

stairs

Planting apple trees.

Planting apple trees.

Our backyard.

Our backyard.

New lampshades for the bedroom.

New lampshades for the bedroom.

The house came with dark blue curtains in the bedroom and I wanted to brighten it up.

The house came with dark blue curtains in the bedroom and I wanted to brighten it up.

A French tile mirror I found that's in the living room. Hands down, my favorite area of the house.

A French tile mirror I found that’s in the living room. Hands down, my favorite room in the house.

Comments { 3 }

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like…

This year, my husband found that several of our Christmas lights weren’t working. After a few nights of him fixing them with some clicky thingamajig, he wasn’t making much progress. Since I couldn’t stand to hear that clicking thing he would click continuously to replace the bulbs of the lights, I suggested he just get new lights.

But that was way too simple. He said he could fix them so for another week he would be downstairs with that click machine.

Click.

Click.

Click.

Oh my god, it drove me crazy. Clicky click. Motherfucking click. Still, no lights.

And then a miracle happened. After the designated man time that passed by so it wouldn’t seem like he was, GASP, actually listening to me, he finally got new lights.

Men.

The hummingbird mostly decorated the tree herself and had a blast since my guy was still determined to fix the damn lights but finally gave up and then spent a few more days putting up the new lights that actually worked and I’ve been in cleaning mode.

I still wasn’t in the Christmas spirit until my husband stopped fucking with the lights and found the most awesome and inappropriate Christmas decoration, Peeny.

Once Peeny went up on our mantle, my mood lifted. It’s impossible to not get a case of the giggles when I see him above the fireplace. Because I have the humor of a 12 year-old boy.

Here’s to happy holidays and lights that work!

christmas-peeny1

*Natasha Bedingfield

Comments { 1 }

The Likeness Is Uncanny

Well, look at that! Donald Trump is on the cover.

donald-trump-pig-in-a-wig

I already shared this fabulous photo of the misogynistic pig on my FB page, but couldn’t resist posting it here.

And if you need some brain bleach, here you go…

*The hummingbird and I can’t get enough of this song.

Comments { 2 }

I Love The Sound Of A Metal Baseball Bat Crushing A Pain In The Ass Printer

Happy holidays! I hope you’ve survived.

About six years ago, when I was pregnant with the little hummingbird, the husband and I bought a new printer. And that printer gave us nothing but problems from day one. It was the PRINTER FROM HELL!

I hated that thing and when I think of all the times I yelled and cursed at it, it probably adds up to a whole year of my life. I would frequently tell my husband that when we got a new printer, we could beat the shit out of it Office Space style.

That wonderful moment finally came yesterday. The hubby gave me an awesome new printer and after I squealed and jumped up and down, I told him we have a date with the old PRINTER FROM HELL and my metal baseball bat.

I’m not sure that the hummingbird really understood exactly what we were up to. But, after all of these years, I think she might believe that the name of a printer is actually called “Piece Of Shit!”

Forget Christmas carols. My new favorite sound for the holidays are the dings of metal on metal, crushing the PRINTER FROM HELL.

It was more satisfying than ridding myself of the crappy wooden spoon my husband and I bought when we were first married that would splinter and occasionally leave pieces of itself in our meals. The wooden spoon my husband would form an attachment to when I wanted to throw it in the trash.

Tragically, that wooden spoon had an “accident” with the garbage disposal. Oh, darn.

Or the toaster we had that my husband refused to let go of. The toaster where we had to hold down the lever or it would pop up every 30 seconds. The toaster that tragically had to be thrown away while my husband wasn’t home to protest it’s demise because one day it “just stopped working” because it “must have shorted out”. *wink*

How was your holiday? Are there any pain in the ass things that you’ve been happy to rid yourself of?

The hummingbird giving the printer from hell a few whacks.

The hummingbird giving the printer from hell a few whacks.

A video posted by Elle (@ahummingbirdoncrack) on

Comments { 1 }

What The Hummingbird Has Learned In Kindergarten So Far

pic-day-kindergarten-580-1

I ask my daughter how her day was at school after she gets settled back home. Most of the time, I get nada from her. But later on, I may find what she’s been doing in school through hearing and watching her play. Her teacher has a blog so I can go on there and see the books she’s been reading to the class, etc.

Of course, my daughter may wait to tell me ALL about her day 2 minutes before we need to leave the house for her gymnastics class, when it’s GO time and we’re in a rush.

I really love to know what she’s doing in school so I can expand on that at home. But this is how it usually goes…

Me: Did you have fun?

Hummingbird: Yeah.

Me: What did you do?

Hummingbird: I don’t know.

Me: Did you play?

Hummingbird: Yes.

Me: Who’d you play with?

Hummingbird: I don’t know.

Me: Did your teacher read?

Hummingbird: Yeah.

Me: What did she read?

Hummingbird: I don’t know.

Me: Did you have art class today?

Hummingbird: Yeah.

Me: What did you do in art class?

Hummingbird: I don’t know.

Agghhh!

A few days ago, I finally found what she’s been learning in school. In a way that only a kid can sum things up.

Hummingbird: *burp*

Hummingbird: Mom, you know what?

Me: What?

Hummingbird: I burpted!

Me: I know. I think they heard you down the street!

Hummingbird: Mom? *in her sweet voice*

Mom: Yes? *thinks* Maybe she’s going to tell me she loves me. Awww, I have the best kid in the world.

Hummingbird: I want to take my burp and put it in a package in the mail.

I want to mail it to my class and when they open it up, it’s me burping… and farting!

I want to put me burping AND farting in the mail and send it to my school so my class and teacher can hear it! *laughs*

Me: *thinks* Okay, I wasn’t expecting this but… my kid is a genius!

Hummingbird: Mom? MOM? What do you think?

Me: Ewwww! So gross and so awesome!

Hummingbird: That’s what I think!

I have the best kid in the world.

Comments { 4 }

Throwback Thursday: My Beautiful Mom And Snazzy Grandfather

When it comes to me and having my photo taken, it’s not a good mix by any means. Even when I was a cute kid, I HATED having my photo taken. Even now, I edit my pics if I share with someone. My aunt was the same way.

Pretty much every photo I have of her has her avoiding the camera or turning her face so you couldn’t see her. Haha! It must run in the family.

Anyway, for the past 15 years or so, I’ve been telling my husband that I want to organize our big ass box of pictures and put them into photo albums. Someday, I really want to pass them on to the hummingbird.

As I was looking through the photos, I found a photo of my beautiful mother and my very snazzy maternal grandfather. He was the coolest grandfather ever, the best.

He passed away when I was only 15 and I think about him every single day. We spent the day together one day during the summer and his last words to me were “See you soon! Two months later, he left this earth.

But, I have my beloved photos of him and will forever keep him in my memory and think of him always. He had a tattoo on his arm that he got while in the military that I thought was so cool. He fought in World War 2, was part of the Flying Tigers, and was a police officer.

My family didn’t have cable but he would put a video in his VCR (fuck, I feel old), and record hours of MTV for me, back when they actually played music videos.

He would do those little things for me that I greatly appreciated. I love him dearly.

The little hummingbird has been told plenty about how wonderful her great-grandfather was. I hope she learns more about him as the years go by and see just how special he was.

My incredible grandfather.

My incredible grandfather.

 

My beautiful mother.

My beautiful mother.

Comments { 1 }

Peenterest: Pivot!

It’s that time of the month for a Peenterest post. If you’re wondering why in the hell I call it this, it’s because that’s what I call Pinterest. I know, it’s only amusing to me. And Pinterest is where I find these funny little cards. Enjoy and I hope at least one of them gives you a laugh.

pp1

~~~~~~~~~~

pp14

~~~~~~~~~~

pp6

~~~~~~~~~~

pp11

~~~~~~~~~~

pp9

~~~~~~~~~~

pp2

~~~~~~~~~~

pp17

~~~~~~~~~~

pp15

~~~~~~~~~~

pp10

~~~~~~~~~~

pp12

~~~~~~~~~~

pp8

~~~~~~~~~~

pp13

* This cracks me up every time…

**Pinterest: This Is Mommyhood

Comments { 2 }