I’m not sure if I wrote about this before but my stomach is full of metal.
Nuts and bolts, screws, and a metal screen. It’s what’s holding the inside of my stomach together after the doctors shredded my stomach. It’s full of this crazy shit because of my botched c-section with the hummingbird back in 2009.
I really want to have a vaginal birth but I’m worried I’ll have to have another c-section.
That is my biggest fear and one of the things that has me so worried. With all that hardware in my stomach, I’m afraid of having a cesarean because of it. Terrified actually. Terrified that because of this, I may have even more complications if they have to open me up and mess around with my pieced back together stomach.
Who knows. Maybe the stars will align at the right time and I’ll get to have a vaginal birth after all. I just really don’t want to be sliced open.
Especially when the doctor that pieced me back together said while yes, it’s safe to have another baby, a c-section could really complicate matters because most of the metal is where they would cut for the c-section and I would also need to have a surgeon on hand “just in case”.
I have this vision of having to get a cesarean done and while they pull this baby bird out of me, all these bolts and screws will fall out of my stomach and jingle around on the floor.
Can you imagine… it would sound like a piggy bank being dropped in the room. *ding… ding.. ding*
My ob/gyn set me up for a VBAC consultation at another hospital when I’m 20 weeks, along with my “big” ultrasound. I guess they have different guidelines at the hospital close to our house so I wouldn’t qualify for a VBAC here.
My nerves are starting to go away as far as being constantly worried about the baby bird. A lot of it has to do with the exceptional medical care and compassion I’ve received from all the doctors in Maine.
I knew how fucked up and traumatized I was with the horrible care I received with my first pregnancy at Bethesda Naval and Walter Reed but now that I finally know what prenatal care is supposed to be like, it’s such a huge relief.
I also plan on having a doula and I’m in the early stages of researching the process. I think it will be tremendously helpful to have a doula there for the birth. Even if I do end up having another c-section.
But because of all the metal in my stomach, here’s hoping I can push that baby out the way it came in.
Did you have a doula for childbirth? Pros? Any cons? Advice?