Last week, when I was in my “pre-sick” stage, I wanted to make a nice dinner for my husband and the little hummingbird. It’s also the day that I made the incredibly orgasmic mini salted caramel apple pies.
Even though we’re a family of 3, it’s such a pain in the ass to get everyone on the same page when it comes to agreeing on what to make for a meal. Okay, actually I need to take that back. My husband will eat anything. Even some of the most horrible, OMG, what the fuck went wrong meals I’ve made over the years.
It’s my 5 year-old daughter who is picky, picky, picky.
Here’s where I have to say I for the most part ate pretty much everything my mom made. She was a single mom for many years and we had several meals of those cheap pot pies. She did the best that she could to feed us so I absolutely appreciate her efforts.
Come to think of it, I was probably more of a whiny little kid when it came to the food we had but I did my best to eat what she was able to afford.
Anyway, as a parent, there is probably at least one time, if not more, where you make a nice dinner for your family and go out of your way to cover all of the different tastes for them. It’s a pain in the ass but damn it, you want everyone to sit down, have a nice dinner, and not bitch and complain.
This particular night did not go as planned. Of course it didn’t. Fuckity fuck!
It may not seem like a fabulous dinner but I made buffalo macaroni and cheese. The perfect comfort food. So delicious and kid friendly. I even made a special casserole dish of it for the hummingbird.
I was running an hour behind though and everyone was bitchy by the time I was able to serve it up.
I was also bitchy and a total asshole to my husband because while preparing this meal, I realized that while I went to the store earlier, I forgot to get half and half. Fuck!
Then I flipped the hell out and sent my poor husband to the quick mart down the road. He was trying to be helpful and offer alternatives but I was all like NO! I FUCKING NEED THIS FUCKING HALF AND HALF, FUCKING FUCK!
Not one of my proudest moments… obviously.
I finally get this dinner in order and on the table. But did my family appreciate it? Hell no!
My hubby chowed down without breathing because he was so damn hungry and my daughter whined and said she didn’t like it. She wanted me to make Kraft mac n’ cheese instead.
And I had to get up multiple times for my daughter. “Can you please get me a napkin, mom? I wanted juice instead. I dropped my fork, can you get another one? My food is cold now, can you microwave it? Now my food is too hot and I can’t eat it. I don’t like this. Can I have something else?”
OMG! Really, people? REALLY?!
So, I sat there and cried. I totally lost it and cried while thinking fuck this shit.
I sat on the couch and cursed my family under my breath while my husband and daughter happily played together after dinner.
But then, I kinda sorta pulled it together and we had those delicious apple pies for dessert.
And all was finally good again.
Because mmmm, pie!