I could make a longer list but I’ll spare you.
6. Mosquitos – Mosquitos are assholes that make my sensitive skin pissed off at me. And then I take Benadryl which knocks me out during the day but you know when it doesn’t knock me out? When I need it most… at night. Chronic insomniac here! I’m up half the night on the stuff.
5. The sun – I do like the sun but I’m more of a partly cloudy kind of girl vs. having the sun feel like a tanning bed blasting in my face.
4. 4th of July – I love the 4th of July but what sucks is the assholes in the neighborhood who light fireworks weeks before and weeks after the forth. They tend to do this soon after I put my kid to bed and I want to kill them because yay, my kid is finally asleep but boo, those damn fireworks will wake her up.
3. Kids – The kids are home from school and maybe this is just me but it takes all my strength to keep the hummingbird occupied for an hour. She has energy galore and by the end of the hour, I’m ready for a nap. Thank sweet baby jeebus for summer camp; where other people are paid to play with your children. My 7 year-old has so much fun there but what baffles me is after being there all day, she wants to play soccer, go for a bike ride, go swimming, run a marathon, and pull the car 10 miles when she gets home.
2. Boob sweat – I don’t like to sweat and boob sweat makes it more gross. Wearing a bra sucks as it is but come summer, the boobies be a sweatin’. Some dickhead man must have invented the bra because it sucks and on top of that, in the summer, wearing a shirt makes it hotter and marinates my boobs in boob sweat. Thanks bra inventor asshole.
1. Frizzy hair- I do the Brazilian blowout on my hair but even so, I need to perfect the hair bun because despite straightening my hair, it becomes that of a clown’s wig from Halloween in the summer. Not only that, I’m sweaty and sticky and my hair is all wet from my sweaty boobs. The heat from my boobs radiates to my head and sets my scalp on fire, hence the sweaty, frizzy hair. Or, so I’m assuming.