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Yours Is Better

Be forewarned. This is a mash-up of things going on. Scratching your head while thinking “what the fuck?” and confusion may follow. Other side effects may include drowsiness, irritability, and dizziness. If you have an erection lasting more than 3 hours, please consult a medical professional.

Okay, I thought I’d just throw in the last one. Ya know, to see if you’re paying attention.

My daughter and I picked up the same cheese quesadillas and took them home. She was STARVING and had to have hers right away. I had a few things to do around the house that took longer than I thought aka “Mom, can you please give me a drink! My food’s cold now. Can you heat it up? I need to poop first. Now it’s cold again”, laundry, putting away the groceries, etc.

She took a few nibbles out of it and left the quesadilla sitting there for half an hour. The bird told me she was done and threw it away. Once I was finally able to sit down and eat, guess who was STARVING again and had to eat my food?

I asked my 6 year-old what was so different about mine and she let me know that mine tasted much better. I ended up eating some peanut butter m n m’s for lunch and my kid caught me. So, not only did she eat my cheese quesadilla, she found that I had a secret stash of chocolate.

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We finally found a house and move in 5 weeks. We have one more year here until my husband gets out of the military and then we plan on moving back to the west coast. We have SO much shit to move and it’s been tempting to just take everything out of the house and set it on fire. We haven’t even begun to start packing yet and whenever I start thinking about it, I want to throw a toddler tantrum and yell I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna!

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Our cats went to the vet and she put them on a kitty diet. Seeing my husband try to hold each one while standing on the scale to see if they’ve lost any weight while they wiggle around is pretty entertaining. I don’t know how to give them more exercise than they already get by chasing each other around the house like maniacs.

There should be an exercise dvd for pets. The closest one of my cats comes to exercise is lying on my exercise mat while I’m working out.

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I’ve been throwing myself into books more than normal and even try to put the bird to bed earlier since she can’t tell time yet. Win!

I’ve been reading these books and hopefully you may come across one you like… :)

 The Light Between Oceans – M.L. Stedman

The Girl On The Train – Paula Hawkins

To Selena, With Love – Chris Perez

Yes Please – Amy Poehler

Needful Things – Stephen King

Mrs. Kennedy And Me – Clint Hill

Confessions Of A Praire Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated – Alison Arngrim

The White Mountains (The Tripods) – John Christopher

Short story long. When I was 13, my English teacher assigned the class to read this book. I wasn’t really into science fiction and since I was a kid, I dreaded having to read anything other than V.C. Andrews. I was surprised by how much I liked this book and the whole trilogy.

Several years later, this book crossed my mind and I wanted to read it again but I couldn’t freaking remember the name of it. I spent another several years googling or looking up keywords or whatever I could remember about The Tripods but still couldn’t find these books. A few months ago, when I was searching yet again, I found it. Yay! Sure it’s for kids, but I like it just as much as the first time I read it.

What have you been reading?

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The Stages Of Buying And Reading A Book

My husband thinks I’m nuts, which is a given, but even more so because of the emotional attachment I have with every single book I read. Even the not so great ones. But once I start a book, damn it, I have to finish it.

Example A.

I read several books at a time but there’s always a front-runner and after that book is finished, the cycle starts over again.

Stage 1: Deciding on a book to read. Sounds easy but it’s torture picking one book out of millions. Damn those first world problems.

Stage 2: I finally decide on one but there might be a few more that are in the running. As much as I love real books, I’ve been reading on my kindle more and more. So, I use the “buy now with 1-click” button. And those few other books that sounded good? The “buy now with 1-click” button makes me get those too.

You are a thing of evil buy now with 1-click button. Evil, I say!

You are a thing of evil buy now with 1-click button. Evil, I say!

I had more self-control when I would be asked for my credit card but it would be in my purse downstairs and I would be too lazy to get it. Boom, no impulsive shopping for books or anything else for that matter. Now, with that clicky button, I go clicky crazy and have accumulated so many books, I could open my own library.

Stage 3: I seem to start out reading a book and usually think, meh. Because it’s not the last book I read and my head is still in that story.

Stage 4: I cannot put the book down. I don’t want to tear myself away from the characters. My kid needs to be fed, dinner has to be made, and laundry has to finally be folded after spending the past 3 days in the dryer after being dried over and over again with the intention of taking it out but then forgetting about it. But I can’t stop reading!

Stage 5: It never fails that when I’m at a crucial point of a book, my 6 year-old wants to have every single second of my attention. Even if she has a friend over to play with. I’m convinced that kids have an internal radar that pings when you really, really need a little time by yourself. It’s like she knows and thinks “Wait a second! My mom looks like she’s enjoying herself without my company. So, I will bug the shit out of her to make sure she remembers I will never let that happen.”

For that matter, even my husband is that way. The man isn’t much of a talker but when I’ve been having a toddler like tantrum in my mind because I haven’t been able to move along in the current book I’m reading and my daughter is in bed at last, I open up my kindle and my husband seems to have a rare moment when he wants to talk and talk. They know. Oh, yes. They know.

Stage 6: Oh my god. I’m getting close to the end of the book. No! No! No! This can’t be happening. I want to finish but I can’t let these characters go!

Stage 7: I set the book aside for several days because I need time to accept the fact that it will be over soon. Sniff… sniff.

Stage 8: I finish my beloved book and it’s bittersweet. Yay, I’m done but booo, so is the story and characters I’ve been consumed with.

Stage 9: Spend days with a book hangover.

Stage 10: Finally settle on a new book. And get a few more because of that damn “buy now with 1-click” button.

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My Therapist Is On Vacation For The Next Two Weeks. I Apologize In Advance.

I was at Target and as usual, bought much more than I planned to. You go to Target for a bottle of shampoo and end up spending $200.

After getting the things I needed, I got the hummingbird some new clothes, My Little Pony socks, and a freaking Frozen comforter. For no reason whatsoever! We give her treats occasionally for doing well in school, keeping her room clean for a week (that lasted less than a day), putting her plate in the sink, etc.

But I’ve been noticing that it’s been happening more often and I realize that I’m spoiling her and need to stop this shit.

I started to wonder if it’s because she’s an only child and I’m trying to overcompensate? Or parents of more than one child can indulge their kids too and it doesn’t matter if you have 1 kid or 4.

The other part of it is spoiling the hummingbird came more often after we lost Ben. At the time, I was so far off in my head and emotionally wasn’t there like I should have been. That’s when the treats started to become more frequent. My husband has been doing the same thing since.

I know the only way to solve this is to quit buying all this crap I’m spoiling her with. It’s one of those things that’s easier said than done though. But I really need to come up with some boundaries.

Do you treat your kids? How often? Is it only for special occasions or can it be random?

*I’ve read this back and it might not make any sense. I just don’t want to raise a spoiled brat. So, I wanted to know if you do the same with treats or if I should put the brakes on it, etc.

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When You Go Out Of Your Way To Make A Nice Meal For Your Family And They Kind Of End Up Being A**holes About It.

1350591749695_7822193*I’m still sick and I have to say, I am the biggest pussy ever when it comes to having a cold. It definitely makes you see just how good you have it when you’re healthy.

Last week, when I was in my “pre-sick” stage, I wanted to make a nice dinner for my husband and the little hummingbird. It’s also the day that I made the incredibly orgasmic mini salted caramel apple pies.

Even though we’re a family of 3, it’s such a pain in the ass to get everyone on the same page when it comes to agreeing on what to make for a meal. Okay, actually I need to take that back. My husband will eat anything. Even some of the most horrible, OMG, what the fuck went wrong meals I’ve made over the years.

It’s my 5 year-old daughter who is picky, picky, picky.

Here’s where I have to say I for the most part ate pretty much everything my mom made. She was a single mom for many years and we had several meals of those cheap pot pies. She did the best that she could to feed us so I absolutely appreciate her efforts.

Come to think of it, I was probably more of a whiny little kid when it came to the food we had but I did my best to eat what she was able to afford.

Anyway, as a parent, there is probably at least one time, if not more, where you make a nice dinner for your family and go out of your way to cover all of the different tastes for them. It’s a pain in the ass but damn it, you want everyone to sit down, have a nice dinner, and not bitch and complain.

This particular night did not go as planned. Of course it didn’t. Fuckity fuck!

It may not seem like a fabulous dinner but I made buffalo macaroni and cheese. The perfect comfort food. So delicious and kid friendly. I even made a special casserole dish of it for the hummingbird.

I was running an hour behind though and everyone was bitchy by the time I was able to serve it up.

I was also bitchy and a total asshole to my husband because while preparing this meal, I realized that while I went to the store earlier, I forgot to get half and half. Fuck!

Then I flipped the hell out and sent my poor husband to the quick mart down the road. He was trying to be helpful and offer alternatives but I was all like NO! I FUCKING NEED THIS FUCKING HALF AND HALF, FUCKING FUCK!

Not one of my proudest moments… obviously.

I finally get this dinner in order and on the table. But did my family appreciate it? Hell no!

My hubby chowed down without breathing because he was so damn hungry and my daughter whined and said she didn’t like it. She wanted me to make Kraft mac n’ cheese instead.

And I had to get up multiple times for my daughter. “Can you please get me a napkin, mom? I wanted juice instead. I dropped my fork, can you get another one? My food is cold now, can you microwave it? Now my food is too hot and I can’t eat it. I don’t like this. Can I have something else?”

OMG! Really, people? REALLY?!

So, I sat there and cried. I totally lost it and cried while thinking fuck this shit.

I sat on the couch and cursed my family under my breath while my husband and daughter happily played together after dinner.

But then, I kinda sorta pulled it together and we had those delicious apple pies for dessert.

And all was finally good again.

Because mmmm, pie!

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Book Suggestions: Mystery

a658a13627997ce052f6f032f3a59891I love books. All books. I’m such a book freak. Earlier today, I took the little hummingbird to her soon to be elementary school for her 3rd and final summer reading program check in where she was able to pick out three new (used) books, including Where The Red Fern Grows.

I read that book when I was a kid in school and if there weren’t any witnesses, I would’ve jumped up and down with excitement and squealed with delight when I saw that book lying in the box.

When it comes to her age group for summer reading, my 5 year-old rocked that shit. I love reading to her and hope she grows to love books as much as I do.

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Return To Grace Karen Harper

A young Amish woman, Hannah Esh, decides to go worldy and returns home to a graveyard in Home Valley on Halloween night with her worldly goth friends. A shooting takes place, leaving one of her friends dead and Hannah injured. She returns home to her Amish family and helps piece together the reason behind the shootings with her former ex, Seth Lantz, and Detective Linc.

lifewithoutparole

Life Without Parole Clare O’ Donohue

Kate Conway, a television producer, gets an opportunity to do a documentary at a local prison. Another job opportunity is a reality show about a new restaurant opening. One of the owners of the restaurant is murdered and Vera, the mistress of Kate’s dead ex-husband, is the prime suspect.

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The Skeleton Box Bryan Gruley

The Skeleton Box is the third in the Starvation Lake mystery trilogy. Gus Carpenter, an editor, looks into the break-in at his mother’s where her best friend and his ex-girlfriend are killed. Gus begins to uncover disturbing events about his town as well as his own family.

Some Kind of Peace

Some Kind Of Peace Camilla Grebe andÅsa Träff

Siri Bergman is a psychologist who lives outside the city in an isolated cottage. A patient of hers is found dead in the lake near here home and she begins to sense that she’s being watched. She’s in a fight for her life to catch the murderer before they kill again.

What have you been reading? I just got done with Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King, and right now I’m half way done with Bittersweet by Miranda Beverly-Whittemore, among a handful or others.

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Rumor Has It

It was brought to my attention a while ago when it came to rumors about my blog (so weird) and what I post. I thought now would be a good time to clear some things up for those people.

What is up with “Elle”?

When I started this blog, I was absolutely, positively going to remain anonymous. Ha! The biggest issue was because my husband is in the military and was teaching at the time. He had concerns that his students would come across my writing. That’s why I started writing under “Elle”. But then I was getting more writing opportunities, which I honestly wasn’t expecting, and ended up sticking with writing under a pseudonym.

To be honest, after being sent some of these rumors and reading them, I’m very glad I keep it that way.

I “came out” to friends and family I know in real life and that’s why I’m more open about it on my private Facebook.

I also see the same posts on other sites.

Yes, yes you do. And? If you look on posts written at the bottom of one of those sites, it even states that I originally posted the content on This Is Mommyhood.

You try way too hard to be funny and you’re just not. You end up looking like an idiot.

Awww, thanks.

But you lost a child back in March and you just don’t seem to be grieving about it on your blog like I think you should. What’s up with that?

Oh my god, I am so, so sorry about that! How could I do such a thing to you?

I had many reasons to start this blog 4 years ago. What I love so much about it is that in reality I am so painfully shy and very quiet to those I don’t really know. But when I write, my real personality comes out. I can be way too open and I know that. When I lost Ben, I was certain I would write plenty about the horrible pain and heartbreak I have over losing my son.

And I have written about him. I just haven’t published it. It’s very hard for me to talk about it, even to my own mother. Writing about ANYTHING else is what I’ve needed. I couldn’t even tell you how emotionally and physically upset I get every single day. Well I could, but who really wants to hear that day after day.

A classmate of the little hummingbird has a brother that is close to what Ben’s age would be. Whenever I see him, my stomach drops. I’ll get a lump in my throat and my heart feels like it’s going to pound out of my chest. Then the tears start and I have to keep it together until I get my daughter and myself into the car.

As much as I share (and I share a lot), there are plenty of things I don’t. There are moments I just want to keep for myself. Especially when it comes to my daughter and baby boy.

If you’re a parent, you already know how many times your child turns you into a puddle of emotions each day and the love you feel is beyond anything else.

I could write about all of that sugary stuff, but I rather write about the every day things that can drive me crazy or make me laugh when it comes to being a wife and mother. It’s my release.

I don’t think you were really pregnant.

Ummm, okay.

I’m FB friends with you and I’m contributing to these rumors.

You’re so kind. Looks like I need to filter out some people.

You’re still not funny and what it the deal with you talking about your vagina?

Well, you’re in luck. My vagina is doing pretty dandy these days but if you aren’t happy with what I write, there are countless other sites that you can read instead.

xoxo

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Church chat.

Me to the 5 year-old hummingbird: Do you want to give church a try on Sunday?

5 yo: What’s church?? Can I eat it?

Yeah, needless to say, we’re not religious.

*Parenting and Religion

*Get Down On Your Knees

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