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Total Recall Sunday: Toddler PMS

Time for Total Recall Sunday! I wrote this back in February when the little hummingbird was 21 months. At nearly 2 1/2 years old, she’s acting even more possessed than Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

Toddler PMS.

February 11, 2011

Who? Me?!

After my daughter turned a year old and became a walking hummingbird who would get into everything, I naively thought that would probably be the most trying part of having a toddler. HaHaHaHaHaHaHa! *breathes* HaHaHaHaHaHa!

Enter what I call toddler PMS. I now know what my hubby has to put up with every month except my little girl’s toddler PMS is chronic. I’m sure that he would argue mine is too but he doesn’t want me to rip his head off, both of them.

My daughter is usually very sweet and well-behaved. She also has such a gentle heart and when I catch glimpses of how she will be when she gets older, I feel so proud.

But out of the blue she will have meltdowns and tantrums. At 21 months old, she has been climbing the terrible twos ladder for a while and according to a terrible twos calculator I came across online (I couldn’t resist doing it and regretted it right after, kind of like when I lost my virginity) she will be in this stage for another 428 days – 23 hours – 42 minutes – and 32 seconds. Note to the terrible twos calculator people: bite me.

Before I had my daughter I would see parents standing there with blank stares while their child would be kicking and screaming at a store. I would always think why aren’t they doing anything. Now I know.

You aren’t quite sure what to do because in an instant your precious babe can go from talking in such a sweet little voice and giving you MWAH! kisses to acting  possessed while you’re waiting in a long line at the drugstore.

Your possessed child starts screaming at the top of their lungs because you will no longer let them hold a box of tissues that they have chewed holes in and they throw themselves on the floor while everyone in line and behind the pharmacy counter looks your way since it sounds like you’re slowly killing said child.

Not that I would know anything about that. *snort*

Yesterday was especially sucky and bad interesting. No matter what I said to my daughter, she would look at me, stick her bottom lip out, and do her “I’m being murdered” cry with tears streaming down her face.

“Be gentle with the kitty.” CRY. “Do you want your sippy?” CRYYYYYY. “Let’s go to the playground.” *she runs to the front door* “We have to get your shoes on before we go.” CRYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Me: ………mutters “holy crap”……..

The playground is less than a block from our house and I carry her across the street, then let her run on the soccer field that’s next to the playground. She didn’t like this setup yesterday and was struggling to break free while I was crossing the street. I’m sure it looked like I was kidnapping her.

After I set her down she ran a few feet, stopped, and just stood there for several seconds. Could she perhaps be changing from a cranky toddler to a cranky zombie toddler? Nope. It was toddler PMS. She threw herself on the ground and started pointing at me while whining. I had no idea what she wanted and had to play 20 questions with her, finally realizing it’s the keys in my pocket that she wants.

Happy again with keys in hand, the little hummingbird and I made it to the playground in one piece, barely. She went down the slide a few times and then ran around by the swings. Then she tripped. I ran over to her and picked her up, making sure she was okay. That made me THE most horrible mother in the entire world.

She does this thing where she’ll take a few steps, she falls on her bum, and then repeats it a few times. She finds it so funny.

While on the playground having her tantrum, my little girl was screaming and pushing me away as I tried to help her up. While continuing to scream, she got up, walked a few steps, and slammed right down on her bum. She also started wailing “MAAHHHMAA!” This went on for a minute or so.

It was one of those moments where I thought someone slipped something in my coffee because I felt like I was having a bad acid trip.

After getting over the “what in the hell” aspect of her meltdown, I looked at her while she continued doing this and it took all I had to stop from busting out laughing. I felt bad for even thinking it’s funny but oh my gawd, it was. I know I would lose my mind if I didn’t see the funny side of it.

Even with all of the tantrums, the crying, the flopping around like a fish when I try to pick her up, and the whining, I still can’t wait to have another baby. But I’m sure the next one will be a perfect little angel. HaHaHaHaHaHaHa!

                                                             

TRS is a meme for a post that you wrote a year ago or even a week ago. Join in on the fun! The linky will open into a new window but I’ll put your link on the front page.

1. Spill The Beans ~ Commando.

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Total Recall Sunday: The weight of the matter.

This is a post I wrote out of frustration when it comes to how pediatricians and others judge the growth of children. My daughter was born a “normal” weight but she’s a small girl, petite, compared to most kids her age.

I know it can also be frustrating for parents on the other side of it. Just a few weeks ago when we were in the waiting room at my daughter’s pediatrician, there was an adorable 11 month old boy. A woman in the waiting room told the mother “It doesn’t look like he misses any meals”.

I think our kids already have so much pressure to deal with, more so than we did, and having people commenting about their weight shouldn’t be one of them.

The weight of the matter.

January 6, 2011

When my daughter was born, she weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces. With every well baby check-up, she would only gain a little weight with each visit.  At 14 months, she was in the 3rd percentile. When she had her check-up at 18 months, she weighed a little over 21 pounds.

I can never remember how tall she is because by the time the nurse checks her height, my daughter is usually screaming which makes my brain melt.

I was a preemie and weighed 4 pounds 4 ounces when I was born. I was always tiny throughout my childhood and I’m only 5’2.

When my daughter was about 9 months old, we took her to a different pediatrician for her check-up because her normal doctor wasn’t available. This doctor really ticked me off because she spent most of the appointment telling us that we have to fatten up our daughter. Seriously?!

She’s perfectly proportioned and I just think she’s going to be petite like me. The regular doctor she had at the time told us she’s thriving and we have nothing to worry about.

For some reason, people think it’s okay to tell us that the little hummingbird is too small for her age. I know that some parents are on the other side of it and have people mentioning how big there child is.

Just today we were on our way inside the grocery store and a woman stopped us to tell us how cute our little girl was. She mentioned that she had a 15 month old daughter at home. When we told her our girl was 20 months old, she said “Really! Wow, she’s so small!”. Grrrr. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it except it happens frequently.

My daughter is going to spend her lifetime dealing with people that are critical of her hair, her height, her voice, her looks, her weight……

“She’s pretty short.” “Does she even talk?” Total strangers will say this and they do it in front of her. I know she’s young but I also know she understands a lot more than we think.

I thought it would be several years before people would be so critical, not before she was even two years old.

It would never cross my mind to tell a parent that their child is tiny for their age, nor would I ever say “damn, your baby is huge!” I’ve come to the conclusion that some people are just idiots.

The hummingbird at 19 months old.

                                              

Join in on Total Recall Sunday and link up. It could be a post you wrote last year or last week. The linky will take you to a new window but I will link you to the front page.

1. Truth Mama ~ What NOT to say to a pregnant woman.

2. Spill The Beans ~ Couch Wars.

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Total Recall Sunday: When you wish upon a star…and it’s stuck…up where?!

I’m putting my “blog of the week” back up. I love finding new ones and mentioning blogs that I’ve been reading for awhile. Basically, I love spreading bloggy love around. It’s kind of like sex well not really but with zero chance of getting an STD. Awesome? I say yes!

The blog of the week is City Momma who I find to be a wonderful and beautiful writer. She’s a new mom with a new blog and she also just started a 30 day blog challenge so I’ve gotten to know quite a bit about her.

A few must read posts from her are The Things No One Tells You about becoming a new mom, and this beautifully written post Yes, it’s a mushy, my baby is so inspiring, thought.

~~~

I know this is Total Recall Sunday but I think I’m going to start putting the post up on Saturday night just for the hell of it.

This is a post I wrote around the holidays last year but I thought it was fitting seeing that my in-laws have been here since Friday. Oh dear gawd, help me!

And now on to a Christmas star stuck up my MIL’s bum because I’m classy like that and such an effing lady. heh.

~~~

When you wish upon a star…and it’s stuck…up where?!

November 22, 2010

We are now on our way to spend the rest of the week with my family. Yay! Yesterday while at the in-laws, we were in the living room and my FIL and hubby were in a deep discussion about which is better, east coast or west coast rap.

Just go with me on this.

My MIL got up to grab a newspaper from 1992 that had a very compelling article, swaying people towards east coast rap.

When she was walking over to the newspaper stack, I saw something that shocked me. I finally realized why she has been so mean and insulting to me all of these years.

You are not alone. There is help for Christmas stars stuck up someone's butt.

I can’t believe she’s never talked about this problem. I learned from Dr. Google that this has deeply affected many others over the years.

Most are too ashamed to talk about this but my wish is that they know they’re not alone.

My MIL has been carrying this around for years and in one second of forgetting who she was, she unclenched and the star was finally free. The Christmas star was pretty shaken up and needed some time alone outside with a few glasses of wine.

Later that night, the star came to me and while he was fuzzy on the details, he thinks his incredibly daunting journey started around Thanksgiving 1970.

He said that before then, he had lost much of his family to this awful problem of “can’t take the stick out-itis”. Star told me that my MIL and her family were in such a rush to get the tree up and untangle the lights.

He thought my MIL saw him lying on the couch and then everything went dark.

After using several handi-wipes and a bottle of disinfectant, he was starting to feel like his old self. I was able to take him to the neighbors who gladly welcomed him into their home. They even promised Star that he can sit on top of their tree for the rest of his days.

Sadly some aren’t as lucky and remain up the butts of many. The solution is simple, unclench. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to make much of a difference with my MIL.

Then again, a wooden post my in-laws had in their backyard has gone missing. Hmmm……

~~~

Total Recall Sunday is pretty simple. Just add a post you wrote whether it’s something from a year ago or even last week. It can also be a post that you really love but it went unnoticed.

The linky I’m using will open up into another page but I will add your post on this page for easier access. Also if you’d like, please give others who link up some bloggy love. I’ve been meaning to check out everyone you has been linking up since I started this a few weeks ago but had a brain freeze without the ice cream.

If you check out a link or two then leave a comment if you wish. After that do 20 jumping jacks, 10 push ups, and mix it up with the running man and the cabbage patch dance. Or you can just say f*ck it and eat a brownie.

And no, I’m not poking a little fun at certain giveaways that people have where you enter by liking their blog, like the product on Facebook, give up your first born, etc., etc. Okay maybe I am a tiny bit. :^)

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1. Spill The Beans~Manic Monday. What are your Monday’s like?

2. Reasons To Skip The Housework~My Junk Drawer. What’s in your junk drawer?

3.

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Total Recall Sunday: Queue Me Up.

This is a post I wrote last summer when we just moved out of our house in D.C. and we were staying in a hotel while waiting for the movers.

 Queue Me UP

July 28, 2010

Last week when I was without a computer, I went to use one at our hotel’s “business center”. They had two computers, one was from the Stone Age, the other from Roman Times.

When I went in one morning, I saw that some guy was on the Roman one. Damn. I hadn’t used the Stone Age one yet, but I was there when the hubby used it the day before and it wasn’t a pretty sight.

I was trying to do this, that, and the other and quickly found out that the fraking computer couldn’t do the simplest things. I would type something or click on a link and it had a 5 minute delay.

So while I’m waiting and waiting, the computer goes apeshit and starts opening up new windows. I kept on trying to x them off (get your mind out of the gutter) but I couldn’t keep up and 60 windows opened up.

I kept on looking over at the guy next to me, hoping that he’d get up soon so I could use that computer. He was on Netflix, looking at his queue for a good 30 minutes. I was getting really annoyed and hemming and hawing, hoping this guy would get the picture.

Of course he didn’t and I took to twitter mentioning that this guy is just staring blankly at his Netflix queue.

Before I could finish tweeting, the computer froze up. I kept trying to shut it down and restart it. I couldn’t just say screw it and walk away from the computer because I didn’t want to leave my twitter account open. While I continuously clicked on Ctrl+Alt+Del, the guy looks over at me and asks if I have a Netflix account.

Why. did. I. say. yes?

He said that he couldn’t figure out how to rearrange the order of his movies and delete others. I tried to explain what to do but since the computer was so crappy, it wouldn’t budge.

While waiting for his computer to do something, the guy told me there were several movies in his queue that he had to delete because some of them had less than 3.8 stars. Um, okay.

Weird guy: How do you decide what movies to put in your queue?

Me: It usually has a lot to do with the actors that are in the movie and the plot.

*crickets*

He looked at me like I was an alien who just ran over a kitten with my spaceship.

Weird guy: You don’t go by the number of stars the movie gets?

Me: Not usually since the ratings are subjective.

Weird guy: So you have movies in your queue that have less than 3.8 stars?

Me: Uh huh. Thinking to myself I need to get logged out of the other computer and get the hell away from this weird guy. Also wondering why he has such a hard on for 3.8 stars.

Weird guy: Do you know anything about this movie; points to the number one movie on his queue, 10 Things I Hate About You.

Me: No, sorry. I haven’t seen it. (Liar, I’ve only seen it about 20 times.)

Weird guy: Well do you think I would like it?

Me: How many stars does it have? (heh)

Weird guy: 3.8

Me: Sure. (Yeah, right. Because a weirdo in his 60’s would just love that kind of movie. Uh wait, he just might.)

I start gesturing to one of the guys at the reception desk and tell him the computer is frozen while Mr. Weirdo McWeirdyson continues down his list of movies.

The reception guy helps me log off the Stone Age computer and I say a quick sorry, gotta go to the weird guy and leave him to his 3.8 star rated movies. I went back to the hotel room and told my hubby that we have to go and get a laptop right. now.

*I got a netbook because of all the features it had i.e it was cute. I soon found out it was just too small i.e I’m getting old and couldn’t see the screen that well. A few days ago we went to exchange it for a regular sized laptop and I’m in lurve. It’s my new baby and I’ve even named it Tobias, Toby for short.

While waiting forever for someone to help us get the computer out of lockdown at Best Buy (can’t they have more than one key, and why does that person with the sainted key always seem to be missing), I was thinking how that movie Inception with Leo DiCaprio looks pretty cool.

Then I started thinking of the movie This Boy’s Life that he was in and how it was based on the true story of writer Tobias Wolff. When I finally got the computer in my hands, I automatically called it Toby. I’m glad I wasn’t thinking of the guy that was “helping” us or my new laptop would be called dumbass.

~~~

You can link a post you wrote awhile back that you love but it possibly went unnoticed. Hell, it can even be a post you did last week. Basically, there aren’t any strict rules.

The linky will take you to a new page but after you link the post, I’ll put the link to your post on this page for better access. 

P.S. When you link up it says to leave a comment afterwards (not on this particular linky) but you don’t have to unless you really want to. No problemo.

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1. Reasons  To Skip The Housework~Places That Should Have Drive Thrus.

2. Not My Year Off~ The Babymobile.

3. But Wait! There’s More…~And people who are uglier than you and I, they take what they need and just leave.

4. Life On The Domestic Front~Bathing Suit Trauma.

5. Life On The Domestic Front~NOBODY Gets Metal Chickens.

6. Truth Mama~Monster-in-law Behaviors.

7. Feminist Christian Socialism~Autism Is Kicking My Ass.

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Total Recall Sunday: Poop Talk.

I never knew just how obsessed I would be about poop until after I became a parent. It’s not as common that my hubby and I talk about it now like we did when our daughter was younger but still there’s at least once a day that one of us will ask the other about the hummingbird’s poop.

Poop Talk

September 18, 2010

A night in the life of two party animal parents…Hubby comes home from work.

Him: Did she poop today? Me: She did earlier this morning. Him: What was it like? Me: Oh, it was like rabbit pellets so that means she probably has another one coming later. Him: She didn’t poop yesterday. Me: No, actually she did, twice. Him: Really? What were they like?

Me: The first one was really mushy. Good thing she was wearing a onesie or else it could have leaked. I was pretty impressed AND it took three diaper wipes. Him: Wow, that is impressive! What about the second one?

M: That one was more of a ball. H: What was the color like? M: It was dark brown but she must not have chewed her steamed carrots very well because there were orange lumps in it.

H: What did she have for lunch? M: She ate mac n’ cheese, avocado, and crackers but she didn’t care for her sliced bananas. H: We’ll let her have a banana break this week, maybe then she’ll want them next week. M: We should make sure to get some blueberries when we go to the store since she’s really liking them lately. H: Did the cat do anything today? M: How am I supposed to know what the cat did? I barely had time to pee.

After hubby puts her to bed….

M: Did she go to sleep right away? H: Yeah, she was a tired little girl. M: Did she drink her whole bottle? H: Almost, but she was falling asleep. M: Did you make sure to put lotion on her cheeks? I noticed they were a little dry. H: Yes. M: But did you remember to rub it in this time? H: I rubbed the lotion in. M: Did you brush her hair? H: Yesssss! M: Okay, just asking because I know how you forget. Do you have the baby monitor?

H: It’s already downstairs. M: Do you want to watch Weeds? H: Sure. M: Did you hear that? I think she’s still up. Maybe we should wait to watch Weeds until we know that she’s asleep. H: Let me go check.

H: Well she’s awake and bouncing around in her crib. M: But is she happy or was she whining. Because if she was whining then maybe we should hold off on watching Weeds. H: She seemed happy. If we’re going to watch it tonight then we better do it now since it’s getting so late (8pm). M: I can’t find the new episode on the DVR. H: Let me see the remote.

M: I think I know how to work a remote. H: I know, I just want to see something. M: Fine, but I’m telling you it’s not on the DVR. I think I forgot to record it. H: Then it should be On Demand…..I don’t see it on here though. M: Oh! I remember, they skipped last week. *Hubby walks upstairs to get ready for bed*

I go to the kitchen, grab some chocolate and start watching Sweet Home Alabama for the millionth time. Not long after, I hear the hubby upstairs snoring like a bear.

Total party animals….

~~~

If anyone else wants to join in for Total Recall Sunday, I’ve added a linky. Since I have wordpress.com the linky will open in a new page because it doesn’t support javascript buttheads. I’m thinking about having my blog hosted so I can do more but I’m worried I’ll be in over my head since I’m computer illiterate.

Total Recall Sunday is for a post you might have written a few years ago, something you’ve written within the last week, or it could be a post you really like but it went unnoticed.

Basically there aren’t any rules because while I have to play the role of bad cop with my daughter while my hubby is the good cop, on my blog I’m more the “you have the freedom to write what you want as long as you’re not implicating yourself or me in serial murders” kind of cop.

If I don’t get anyone else to link up, I just might have to eat that whole pan of brownies with chocolate chunks that I made. It may sound like a good thing but my ass will most likely weep. Not that I have a leaky ass or anything. I’m not taking that diet pill that causes leaky ass syndrome.

And if you don’t have a blog, why don’t you click on the link to read other people’s awesome. Please. For me. *bats eyelashes* *cries one tear, from my eye not my ass* *feels nauseous for begging about clicking on some link*

I even made a button and if you want, you can copy and paste it to your post. I don’t know how to do code but the lovely Sara from Sara Without An H offered to help with my blog button I’m going to do so *maybe* she’ll help me with this too if it becomes something others want to participate in.

I couldn’t sleep so I made this button at around 2 am and that’s why it looks the way it does. Luckily, I was going for a last minute thrown together look. Ha!

*Update. I’m going to add the links to posts that are linked up and put them on my post so everyone has better access to them. I’m looking into the web hosting thingy but I’m losing my fricking mind when it comes to all this computer stuff so I might do the links this way for the next couple of weeks until I figure out how to set up Go Daddy web hosting or take a baseball bat to my laptop, whichever comes first.  :^)

1. Spill The Beans ~ The Naked Cowboy.

2. The Bright Side ~ Time Well Spent.

3. Coffee With Cheryl ~ Peanut Butter?

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