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TRW: It’s the most wonderful time of the year to stay inside your house because people will cut you for a parking space at the mall.

**Help a teacher and a librarian in need of supplies for their students. All it takes is a comment and I’ll do the rest. Go here for more info.

                   

It’s that time again, Total Recall Weekend. For those that don’t know, you can link up a post, whether you wrote it a year ago or a week ago. I’m not expecting any link ups since I’m sure people are still being tortured wrapped in love by in-laws or family members.

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving and if not, you can tell me all about it by emailing me and I can put it in a post. My hubby put up the Christmas lights yesterday and I was kind of surprised since we don’t start getting into the Christmas season until at least December 1st.

I know last year it wasn’t until 2 weeks before Christmas and then our tree ended up staying there until the end of January. Whenever that happens, I always think of that movie Garden State with Zach Braff and Natalie Portman….

Andrew: You guys are a little early on the tree though.

Sam: Yeah, we never got around to taking it down. When it got to be fall again…we figured, “Just leave it up.”

                                       

It’s the most wonderful time of the year to stay inside your house because people will cut you for a parking space at the mall.

December 15, 2010

It’s that time of year to cozy up on the couch while making my husband watch holiday movies, drink hot cocoa with Bailey’s, and eat yummy shortbread cookies.

The time of year when my husband hangs Christmas lights up on the house using a very questionable wooden ladder, a la’ Clark Griswold, that we got after one of our many moves. The moving guys didn’t want to bother finding the rightful owner so they just gave it to us.

Someone must have a hit out on my hubby since it’s the ladder from the depths of hell. Aaand despite it being shady and very wobbly with screws hanging out of it that aren’t attached to the steps of the ladder like they should be, he uses it anyway with a bum foot that he broke 4 years ago that still gives him problems.

It’s also the time of year when I’m especially thankful to shop online, from the safety of my own home, instead of buying gifts in shops that Christmas zombies inhabit. They are out for blood and will eat you alive for a scarf that’s on sale.

Recently, my hubby went to get us lunch at Chipotle and the closest one to our house is at the mall. He was gone for over an hour and when he came back home, he was looking pretty traumatized.

I asked him what was wrong, not even thinking about the shopping apocalypse, and he said “You sent me to. the. mall. Everyone is out Christmas shopping. There are crazzzy people out there”. My bad.

I know the holiday season is for giving but I would rather not receive what people are doling out. During the holiday, people give you the finger and play bumper death cars for a parking spot.

Then you have to deal with the chaos inside the store. People give you a hard time while ramming you with their carts and they stand in the middle of the freaking aisle so you can’t pass.

You’re given the crowds and you’re also given the person who lets one rip in the middle of the crowds. Since you have nowhere to go, you’re stuck smelling the smells of the season. Fa La La La La.

All of that giving leaves my heart all warm and fuzzy.

Pomplamoose – Deck The Halls

                             

One of my favorite places to donate is iLoveSchools.  I’m in no way being paid or being threatened by zombies to promote iLoveSchools. I just want every child to have a chance to get an education, and possibly fall in love with reading, writing, and art like I did when I was younger, as well as having the proper school supplies.

After looking through several programs, I found this teacher in need of art supplies and this librarian in need of books and it depends on you. Mrs. Haystead needs a total of $87.21 for supplies and librarian Mrs. Warren needs a total of 56.21 for books.

For every comment mentioning teacher Mrs. Haystead or librarian Mrs. Warren, I’ll donate $1.00 and if you mention both, they each get that amount.

So, get those comments coming in! You have until December 15th to leave comments mentioning them on any post. I’d like to donate to them by then so they can have an even happier holiday.

And don’t worry, I’ll be mentioning this again and again…… =)

                                      

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Total Recall Weekend: Dear disposable razor people…you suck!

This used to be called Total Recall Sunday but I decided to change it up so it’s all weekend. It’s basically a way to “recycle” a post that you wrote (which comes in handy if you are having writer’s block….*raises hand*), whether it was a year ago or last week and to link it up.

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Dear disposable razor people…you suck!

November 29, 2010

One of the more recent incidents I’ve had with you was after I gave birth. I hadn’t shaved in weeks and thought I would do it the day of my ob/gyn appointment but was running late as usual.

It’s a pain in the ass to shave when you have a basketball sized stomach and can’t even reach your legs. At my appointment the Dr. told me I was having my little girl that day and so during labor, everyone who came by to stick their hands up my vagina also got to see my legs that rivaled Sasquatch.

My husband was able to hunt down a disposable razor a day later since I was tired of having my leg hair blowing in the breeze. You seemed innocent enough although I have no idea why. Two razor blades stuck in a plastic stick seems far from innocent especially when taken to your legs.

I thought I finally learned my lesson on using you when not only did I have to deal with the blood coming out of my pikachu that required pads the size of diapers and sexy mesh panties, I also had blood dripping from the cuts on my legs. I have really sensitive skin so it doesn’t help matters.

But alas, I still didn’t learn. It’s like when I know not to cut my bangs after all of these years. I still do it thinking I won’t screw them up this time and then proceed to butcher them.

So for the Thanksgiving holiday I decided to be a dumbass and pick up a disposable razor. For some reason I think spending a couple of dollars on a razor that I can throw away and don’t even have to bother unpacking is more convenient than taking my 12 dollar razor that will leave me with most of the skin on my legs. Like I said, I’m a dumbass.

To my credit or to my dumbassy-ness, I had recently seen a disposable razor commercial and they didn’t seem so bad since the women in the commercial were smiling, not screaming and cussing in the shower while the skin on their legs were being ripped off. They also left out the bloodbath that ensues. Damn advertising.

Or should I say bloodshower? *snort* Yes, I think that’s funny because if you haven’t heard me bitch and whine about it, I’m really sick and chugging nighttime cold medicine. I also have an awesome, raspy voice from my brutal sore throat and because I’m coughing so much. Being sick also makes me more spacey than usual and has me going off of a subject entirely. Where was I?

So while traveling for the holiday I made the mistake of taking along a disposable razor. I made sure to use extra shaving cream thinking that would cut heh down on my leg carnage. Did I mention that I’m a blonde?

The extra shaving cream that made the shower look like a winter wonderland didn’t do shit so my legs were ripped to shreds. I said fuck a lot more than usual throughout the day from the pain of cuts and razor burn because that is supposed to be healing and make up for the lack of skin on my legs and armpits. It’s a scientific fact.

I told my husband to never, ever let me use you again, like that’s going to stop me. By the way, my bangs are looking a little long.

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