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Randy Rainbow

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Hola!

Long time, no see. I took an unexpected break since I went into an awful funk back in March. Depression pretty much body slammed me and put me in a headlock for a bit. It was being such a dick but I’m slowly climbing out of the hole I was in.

With my 6 year-old being on summer break and the chaos of moving last month and endless unpacking, I haven’t had much time… to pull my ass away from marathons of The Walking Dead and the delicious show, UnReal.

I’m hoping to get back into the swing of things once the hummingbird goes back to school in a few weeks. When she started kindergarten last year, I was freaking the hell out because Oh my god, my baby is growing up!!! But now, I’m counting down the days until she starts 1st grade.

I want to break out the hard liquor, get some glow sticks, and have myself a dance party on that glorious day.

Who am I kidding? I’m going to cry like a fucking baby because Oh my god, my baby is growing up!!!

I came across this video with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and it is glorious. “I’m sorry I ruffled your duvet but I had to work on that bootay”.

Enjoy!

What were you up to this summer? Has your sanity been hanging by a thread from summer vacation?

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I Love The Sound Of A Metal Baseball Bat Crushing A Pain In The Ass Printer

Happy holidays! I hope you’ve survived.

About six years ago, when I was pregnant with the little hummingbird, the husband and I bought a new printer. And that printer gave us nothing but problems from day one. It was the PRINTER FROM HELL!

I hated that thing and when I think of all the times I yelled and cursed at it, it probably adds up to a whole year of my life. I would frequently tell my husband that when we got a new printer, we could beat the shit out of it Office Space style.

That wonderful moment finally came yesterday. The hubby gave me an awesome new printer and after I squealed and jumped up and down, I told him we have a date with the old PRINTER FROM HELL and my metal baseball bat.

I’m not sure that the hummingbird really understood exactly what we were up to. But, after all of these years, I think she might believe that the name of a printer is actually called “Piece Of Shit!”

Forget Christmas carols. My new favorite sound for the holidays are the dings of metal on metal, crushing the PRINTER FROM HELL.

It was more satisfying than ridding myself of the crappy wooden spoon my husband and I bought when we were first married that would splinter and occasionally leave pieces of itself in our meals. The wooden spoon my husband would form an attachment to when I wanted to throw it in the trash.

Tragically, that wooden spoon had an “accident” with the garbage disposal. Oh, darn.

Or the toaster we had that my husband refused to let go of. The toaster where we had to hold down the lever or it would pop up every 30 seconds. The toaster that tragically had to be thrown away while my husband wasn’t home to protest it’s demise because one day it “just stopped working” because it “must have shorted out”. *wink*

How was your holiday? Are there any pain in the ass things that you’ve been happy to rid yourself of?

The hummingbird giving the printer from hell a few whacks.

The hummingbird giving the printer from hell a few whacks.

A video posted by Elle (@ahummingbirdoncrack) on

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Mark Ruffalo Recreates Dream Conversation

The holidays are almost here and like everyone else, I’ve been busy and losing my mind when it comes to getting everything ready.

So, I thought we could use a Mark Ruffalo break. Because he’s hot. And delicious. And I can watch him all damn day.

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Princess Rap Battle

Having a 5 year-old daughter who loves anything to do with princesses can be trying at times. I mean, just how many tiaras and sparkly princess shit does a girl need? Apparently, lots.

But spoofs like this help cancel out all of the times I’ve had to hear Let It Go. Well, that and wine.

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Keeping Up With The Hummingbird… In Videos

I can’t believe my little girl, my sweet baby, the fruit of my loins… okay, okay, you get it… will be starting kindergarten next month. Here are a few things she’s done this summer.

5 year-old: Look what dad and I found in the cemetary! I’m gonna go wash it off.

-About a toy car she started playing with. Eeeek!

And we finally got that toy car back to the cemetery.. with a lot of bribing from me.

Chasing birds in the park. I don’t call her a hummingbird on crack for nothing. She just keeps going, and going, and going…

Lobster claw play.

Hearing neverending Frozen songs.

Sometimes you’ve just got to wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

A dancing fairy.

A fast climber.

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Mark Ruffalo riding a unicycle.

Happy 4th of July! It’s no secret that I have a slight obsession that’s putting it mildy with Mark Ruffalo, swoon, so lets watch him ride a unicycle. And this is where I have to comment and say “He should be riding me.” Bada bing!

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