I feel like that should read No More Wire Hangers EVERRRR because Joan Crawford’s hatred of wire hangers is close to my hatred of my kid playing soccer. Yes, I’ve been bitching and whining about how I can’s stand being a “soccer mom” because of it being such a time suck and my kid hates going to practices. Getting her out the door for practice made me want to crawl into a ball and cry.
I bitched and moaned about it to my husband for the past three years and it turns out whining about something for that long finally registered with my husband. But, for some reason, it can take them twice as long to fix something you’ve been asking them to.
So to recap, bitch and whine, don’t politely ask your partner to fix something and they’ll do it faster.
A few weeks ago, my husband said the sweetest words to me that I’ve ever heard in our nearly twenty two years together (yes, we married very young). He said:
“Next year, I’m not signing the hummingbird up for soccer.”
I told him:
“Hallefuckingluah! I could fuck you right now!”
Little did I know that the soccer coach was to my right side, handing out soccer pictures and heard every word.