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Beyond Belief


I read the book Beyond Belief: My Secret Life Inside Scientology and My Harrowing Escape by Jenna Miscavige Hill, which was really good but so beyond belief. Jenna is the niece of Scientology’s COB, David Miscavige.

The things I read in that book just blew my mind. Jenna joining the Sea Org at age 7, signing a billion year contract, hard labor, seeing her parents once a week, if that, little education… mostly of Scientology teachings.

I got sucked into learning more about Scientology and read Blown For Good by Marc Headley. His wife was forced to get an abortion since she was a part of the Sea Org i.e. slave labor and pregnancy isn’t allowed. There was also a very fucked up account of David Miscavige, okay not just one account but many, and this one involved a sort of musical chairs with Bohemian Rhapsody being played. The ones who didn’t make it would be kicked out of the Church Of $cientology.

Before I finished that, I also jumped into reading Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and The Prison Of Belief from Lawrence Wright. This is the book an HBO documentary was based on earlier this year.

Then I found out even stranger things that were so off the wall but after reading these 3 books, I’m much more apt to believe the former members of Scientology, like Paul Haggis, than the spokespeople of Scientology who dismiss them as having some kind of agenda against them or are attention seekers.

This shit is freaky.

For years I’ve heard bits and pieces about Scientology from Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Kirstie Alley but holy fuck, these people don’t seem to have any clue about what really goes on in the “church”.

Any little thing, for instance just trying to leave the church, can send a member to RPF, Rehabilitation Project Force, which is like a prison or more like hell on earth.

What Katie Didn’t Know is an article about how one Scientology member was groomed to be Tom Cruise’s girlfriend and the woman, actress Nazanin Boniadi, made a mistake in the eyes of the church and was sent off packing after living with Cruise.

I’ll be honest, from the early days of Tom Cruise, I wasn’t a fan and never got the appeal of him. It always seemed like he put on a happy face but underneath he seemed like he would flip the fuck out over anything. I guess I wasn’t too far off.

I just got Leah Remini’s Book, Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood And Scientology, and what I’ve learned is that anytime I read anything about Scientology, it still surprises me. I just can’t wrap my head around it.

The “Church” spokepeople always have the same old bullshit retaliations about former members who were “out of control”, they’re trying to further their careers, blah blah blah, but after reading three of these books so far, I find one thing certain. Scientology is full of shit. There’s way too many things in all of the books that really add up.

There were definitely certain parts of these books that got the little hairs in the back of my neck standing up. While a lot of the ways of the CO$ is beyond belief, the truth really is stranger than fiction.


I don’t know about you but I need a palate cleanser after all the CO$ talk, so here’s a cute bunny.


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Sexy Real Estate


My husband is leaving the military next summer so we have a lot to figure out. What the hell is he going to do when he grows up… where are we going to make our permanent home, etc. A few weeks ago we decided to go to an open house to get an idea of what houses are available here.

What we weren’t expecting is that there’s a whole world of real estate that’s sexy. Very sexy. Rawr!

I’ve never been a fan of things like open houses since they seem so unnatural. Just like going to buy a new household appliance. Some places actually leave you alone but other places are ready to pounce on you in seconds. When we walked into the open house, we were greeted by a nice woman who laid it on thick from the get go.

She saw the hummingbird and told us we could give her whatever she wants from the assortment of goodies the agent brought. The bird decided on a bag of peanut m n m’s which once she opened, flew all over the nice brand spankin’ new kitchen floor with several loud ping, ping, pings.

I apologized and stuffed the ones from the floor into my purse, which I’m still finding, while the hummingbird munched on the few that didn’t fall on the floor. The real estate agent, still laying it on thick, kept telling my husband we’re more than welcome to have any refreshments that we want. The hubby and I later joked about what her reaction would have been if I just took my purse over to the counter, dumped the contents on the counter into my purse, and said “Okay, thanks! See ya!”

While our 6 year-old was seeing how many closets she could walk inside, the agent was talking more details about the house and the new neighborhood it was in. She told us this is the new Maine sexy real estate. The old sexy real estate just isn’t as sexy.

My husband and I turned to each other and shared a ‘what the fuck?’ look while suppressing giggles. After more sexy talk, she asked us what we think. I was trying not to pee my pants while wondering if I was being Punk’d. We told her it was a very nice house and she said “It’s so sexy though, isn’t it?” Umm, um, yeah.

Instead of running to the front door of this very sexy house, we decided to finish looking. Well, that and the hummingbird was still going throughout the house and stepping into the closets. I’m sorry. My bad. I mean the sexy closets of the new sexy house.

A few more people were coming in at that point so we made our escape. And that’s when my husband and I spent the drive home laughing our asses off about the sexy real estate agent.

My husband’s favorite part was that the older woman gave him a handful of cards. He can call her any time he wants to see something sexy.

Unfortunately, that house just wasn’t the new sexy we were looking for but there’s still time to find that oh so very sexy house.


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*Click off if you freak out about bugs and spiders. I’d click off but I’m writing this so it would be pretty impossible to do that and then you wouldn’t have to read about creepy crawlies. Now I have my feet up from the floor and I’m freaking myself out over the thought of spiders.

When we moved into this house over the summer, I soon found that we were living in real life scenes from that movie, The Money Pit. We had few options on rental houses here and the one we decided on seemed pretty good. I’ll spare you tons of ranting and just say this house is full of temporary fix-its that seem to be falling apart only a few months into living here.

Like when I opened the closet door and the door handle just plopped off in my hand since the dumbass who “fixed it” replaced a missing screw with the tiniest little screw known to man. Or how the oven was broken when we moved in and we just recently got it replaced by the landlord.


If you live in a place that doesn’t have very many bugs, I’ll let you in on a secret. It’s because all of them are living in Maine. Maybe it’s because we came from California but holy shit, the mosquitoes here seem like the size of Chihuahuas and they need to be on a leash.

Up until recently, we seemed to be living in Spider Central. They’ve been running around the house like they own the place and if they don’t go away soon, they can have it because my ass will be staying at a hotel.

I’m hoping the colder weather will scare these fuckers away.

So, after a tiring day of unpacking, I wanted to pick up a book and relax a little. I had finally gotten into a comfy spot on the bed when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature tarantula and eight spider legs.

Crawling up my leg. Are you fucking kidding me?!

When lying on the bed there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, got a tissue from the box, squished it while screaming, and threw it in the trash.

Another memorable spider moment was when I was making my daughter’s lunch for the next day. I was putting away her cream cheese bagel and thinking about eating the other half since I know she won’t eat it and that’s when I started to feel a tickle on my left arm.

At first I was thinking it was my husband, then cat hair and with that thought, I looked down on my arm and up crawled a spider.


I should have known a family member from that squished spider would come for revenge.

Okay, my husband thinks I’m just overreacting when it comes to spiders but seriously, they scare the ever-living hell out of me.

I’ll never forget the spider incident of the 80’s. I was putting on my shoes and was feeling this weird sensation on the bottom of my left foot. I took my shoe off, then put it back on but it still felt funny so I started shuffling my foot back and forth on the ground to itch it.

The weird feeling didn’t go away so I thought it could be my socks. When I went to take my shoe off, out fell a half dead spider which I smashed into tiny pieces with my other shoe while doing the “oh my god, there’s a fucking spider near me” dance.

Happy Halloween!

*Reel Big Fish

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The Likeness Is Uncanny

Well, look at that! Donald Trump is on the cover.


I already shared this fabulous photo of the misogynistic pig on my FB page, but couldn’t resist posting it here.

And if you need some brain bleach, here you go…

*The hummingbird and I can’t get enough of this song.

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Their Brother

Yes, I’ve watched the Duggars on and off for years. With 19 kids, the most I was expecting was for a few of them to come out of the closet some day or having some of the kids go against the way they were brought up.

They’ve been pushing more shows about the older kids for the past few years. The courting and chaperones, the quickie weddings, the quickie quickies that made the quickie brides quickly get knocked up.

And then it seemed like if you weren’t hearing about the horrid Karthrashians, it would be the Duggars. There were several times I would think “I want off this fucking planet!”

Especially when the Duggar family would, and I’m paraphrasing here, call gay men and lesbians sexual deviants. Then oldest son, Josh Duggar, took his family to DC where he was working for the Family Research Council, where he resigned yesterday.

And now, this appalling news. Josh Duggar molested five girls and four of them are his sisters. Words fail me about how sick I’ve felt when hearing this.

What makes it even worse, if that’s even possible, is how his parents thought a few months of hard labor and reading the bible would rehabilitate him. They spoke of counseling in their statements but they sent him to build a house and bam, he’s fine?

In the statements the Duggars have made, they seem to stress that Josh was a “young teenager” (14, 15 years old) when he molested these poor girls.

Well, I call bullshit.

A “young teenager” may sneak out of the house to go to a party.

A “young teenager” may drink underage at a school dance.

A “young teenager” may sneak cigarettes or smoke pot.

But, a “young teenager” does not molest 5 girls, including a babysitter, on multiple occasions over the span of at least a year (I’m going by the police report) while some of them are sleeping or in other instances.

Age does not have anything at all to do with molestation. It’s not something you do to rebel and then grow out of.

Yet, Josh Duggar seems to be saying ooops, I was young and made mistakes.

It wasn’t a “very bad mistake” when he was a “young teenager”. It was incest. It was sexual assault. He changed those girls lives forever and I can’t imagine having him in the same house with his young sisters after his so-called treatment.

I hope someone steps up and gives the Duggar girls the professional help that they desperately need. Instead of having them live the rest of their lives trying to push down the guilt and betrayal in one of the worst ways from what was supposed to be a trusted family member. Their brother.

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When You Go Out Of Your Way To Make A Nice Meal For Your Family And They Kind Of End Up Being A**holes About It.

1350591749695_7822193*I’m still sick and I have to say, I am the biggest pussy ever when it comes to having a cold. It definitely makes you see just how good you have it when you’re healthy.

Last week, when I was in my “pre-sick” stage, I wanted to make a nice dinner for my husband and the little hummingbird. It’s also the day that I made the incredibly orgasmic mini salted caramel apple pies.

Even though we’re a family of 3, it’s such a pain in the ass to get everyone on the same page when it comes to agreeing on what to make for a meal. Okay, actually I need to take that back. My husband will eat anything. Even some of the most horrible, OMG, what the fuck went wrong meals I’ve made over the years.

It’s my 5 year-old daughter who is picky, picky, picky.

Here’s where I have to say I for the most part ate pretty much everything my mom made. She was a single mom for many years and we had several meals of those cheap pot pies. She did the best that she could to feed us so I absolutely appreciate her efforts.

Come to think of it, I was probably more of a whiny little kid when it came to the food we had but I did my best to eat what she was able to afford.

Anyway, as a parent, there is probably at least one time, if not more, where you make a nice dinner for your family and go out of your way to cover all of the different tastes for them. It’s a pain in the ass but damn it, you want everyone to sit down, have a nice dinner, and not bitch and complain.

This particular night did not go as planned. Of course it didn’t. Fuckity fuck!

It may not seem like a fabulous dinner but I made buffalo macaroni and cheese. The perfect comfort food. So delicious and kid friendly. I even made a special casserole dish of it for the hummingbird.

I was running an hour behind though and everyone was bitchy by the time I was able to serve it up.

I was also bitchy and a total asshole to my husband because while preparing this meal, I realized that while I went to the store earlier, I forgot to get half and half. Fuck!

Then I flipped the hell out and sent my poor husband to the quick mart down the road. He was trying to be helpful and offer alternatives but I was all like NO! I FUCKING NEED THIS FUCKING HALF AND HALF, FUCKING FUCK!

Not one of my proudest moments… obviously.

I finally get this dinner in order and on the table. But did my family appreciate it? Hell no!

My hubby chowed down without breathing because he was so damn hungry and my daughter whined and said she didn’t like it. She wanted me to make Kraft mac n’ cheese instead.

And I had to get up multiple times for my daughter. “Can you please get me a napkin, mom? I wanted juice instead. I dropped my fork, can you get another one? My food is cold now, can you microwave it? Now my food is too hot and I can’t eat it. I don’t like this. Can I have something else?”

OMG! Really, people? REALLY?!

So, I sat there and cried. I totally lost it and cried while thinking fuck this shit.

I sat on the couch and cursed my family under my breath while my husband and daughter happily played together after dinner.

But then, I kinda sorta pulled it together and we had those delicious apple pies for dessert.

And all was finally good again.

Because mmmm, pie!

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50 Shades Of Grey: I’m Reading This Craptacular Book So You Don’t Have To. You’re Welcome.

I know, I know. Many seem to LOVE this cringeworthy, hot mess of a so-called book. Me? I’ve tried reading it twice and was only able to barely make it through the first few pages. But the movie is coming out next year and stars Mr. Hottie McHotster, Jaimie Dornan.

And yes, I will absolutely, positively see this craptastic masterpiece of a movie when it comes out on Netflix. Because I have a 5 year-old and have pretty much forgotten what a movie theater looks like.

I first noticed this gorgeous man, Jaimie Dornan, in Marie Antoinette, playing Count Fersen. Whooo! Is it getting hot in here? And I remember some scenes where he was grinding up against the lucky, lucky Kirsten Dunst.

Yeah, it is hot in here.

Now, I’m not a book snob by any means. I mean hello, I look forward to my US Weekly coming in the mail every week and may even do a happy dance when I see it. But 50 Shades Of Grey is pretty fucking awful. And that’s putting it mildly.

So, a few days ago I gave myself a little talk. I said “You know what, me? This craptastic book must be read! It’s not like you need to read it for the movie or anything. You must read it for the laughs.”

Keep in mind. There are a few universal truths:

1. Laughter really is the best medicine.

2. You need those guilty pleasures because life can be a pain in the ass.

3. Jaimie Dornan is such a hottie.

Now, this is where you may or may not come in. I would love for us to read this “book” together. And no, I won’t judge you if you’ve already read it. Or maybe even liked it. Okay, I probably will judge you but that’s besides the point. I promise not to hold it against you.

We need to read this book together, have some laughs, and snark the shit out of it.

I will try my best to give weekly updates on it and you are more than welcome to do the same. Whether you put your take on it in the comment section of my blog, on my FB page, or if you have your own blog and aren’t worried about your readers and/or family members questioning your life choices and sanity.

Whatever the case may be, if I have your permission, I’ll include your views of this book in the updates or link the post you write on your blog.

So, who’s with me?

Don’t worry, if you’re all for it and want to participate but then decide not to, no big deal.

So, ladies… this week, we will be reading the first 4 chapters.

Remember, Jaimie Dornan is counting on us!

Oh my, excuse me while I stick my head in the freezer and cool off.

Hot damn, this man is fine!

Hot damn, this man is fine!

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