If this doesn’t prove I’m certifiable, I don’t know what will.

I have superstitions and things that have to be a certain way. Some things are OCD, some are just weird which I guess is one in the same. I have a ton of them but I’ll keep it short.

The number 13 freaks me out. I try to avoid making any doctor appointments or do anything of importance on the 13th. Sometimes I’ll get reactions from the people I’m making an appointment with when I tell them any day but the 13th and then they look at me like the loony person I am.

I got married on July 8th but several family members were coming into town a few days later and it was suggested that the date be changed to the 13th. No way! I might as well have walked under a ladder as I was going down the aisle while having a black cat crossing my path.

I don’t care if I’ve been impaled or my head has been cut off in some freak accident. I won’t see a doctor or have surgery to sew my head back on unless it’s on another date.

~~~

One of the highlights of my week is picking out the designs of the paper towels I get when I go to the grocery store. Woohoo, I’m so exciting!

Also I’m a paper towel slut even though I really try to be green. But as Kermit the Frog says, “It’s not easy being green”. The thought of wiping my clean hands on a cloth towel right before I prepare food gets me all twitchy.

I think of the millions of germs and plague spreading all over the towel.

~~~

It drives me crazy when my husband has something hanging out of a dresser drawer or a bag sticking out of one of the bins in the refrigerator. One time while I was in the shower, I heard him opening and closing the dresser drawers and knew he was up to something.

When I walked into the bedroom I saw that not only did he deliberately have clothes hanging out of his drawers to drive me crazy, he also did it to my dresser. I thought it was pretty hilarious but annoying at the same time since I had to open and close 10 dresser drawers and stuff the clothes back in.

He was waiting outside the bedroom for my reaction and I chased him around the house so I could strangle him. Actually it was more like a waddle since I was about 9 months pregnant so unfortunately he got away. Damn!

~~~

I absolutely, positively hate to drive and will do almost anything or make any excuse to get out of it. I go into panic mode because other people seem to do everything but drive while they’re in the car.¬†Once I’m finally on the road I calm down and I think it’s not so bad but then the panic sets in the next time and the time after that.

Last week my hubby drove us to a doctor’s appointment and the guy behind our car was way too close. There was someone making a left turn so the hubs slowed down as one does in that situation and the asswipe behind us starts speeding up and tries to swerve around us.

Then he had the nerve to lay on his horn. Since the hummingbird was in the car, I got all Mama Bear. My husband told me to relax and that he would take care of it which meant he wasn’t going to do anything.

I turned around to look at the guy and while I really wanted to give him the finger, I kept on putting my hand up in a stop and back off motion while pointing at my baby girl in her car seat. I’m sure I looked completely sane. heh. It worked and the guy backed off.

I need to win the lottery so I can get a chaffeur….and a chef….and a personal hairstylist…and..and…

So I don’t feel like a total freak, what are some of your idiosyncrasies?

Comments { 19 }

We have entered the “No” stage. Hold me!

Would you like a snack? NO! Where’s the kitty? NO! Look at the birdie. NO! Give mama a kiss. MWAH!

That last one is the only thing keeping me sane from all of the NO’s that the little hummingbird has been saying lately.

Usually when I ask her anything, she replies with NO! Even if she just asked me for something and I didn’t hear her, I’ll ask her what she wanted and she’ll say NO!

Holy cow balls!

The hummingbird was a late talker. Since she was about a year old, I was so worried about her lack of speech.

It didn’t help when I would hear other moms say their child started talking at 4 months and was reciting Shakespeare by 10 months. Excuse me a second.

Hahahahahaha.

Okay, I’m back. Even though I hear these moms talking about their genius children, I’m still impressed by my little girl’s burps and farts. My child can burp like a grown man and can clear a room with her gassy bum so neener neener neener.

My husband and I knew that she could understand what we were saying and she was able to follow simple instructions. She just wasn’t saying that many words though, most of it was gibberish.

She went for a regular check-up when she was 14 months old and when her pediatrician asked us all the words our daughter could say, my hubby and I looked at each other and showed off our awesome verbal skills by saying Uhhhhhh?

My husband started to remember bits and pieces of how when he was younger, he basically refused to talk. When he was 3 he was only saying about 20 words. His parents took him to specialists and they gave us a copy of the five-page report last November.

After all of these tests and interviews, the report concluded that he just didn’t feel like talking. That’s all it was.

Since this past winter, the little hummingbird has been busting out her language skills and continues to wow us.

When I look back, it seems like she was just taking in all of the speech and then once she was ready, she just started talking. Now she won’t stop talking although we don’t always know what she’s saying.

On Christmas day, one of the presents we got her was a little picnic table. It wasn’t until we played back the video of her with it that we realized she had said table, twice.

We’re obviously very observant not.

As far as her saying NO!, I hope it continues until she’s at least 30. Oh please, oh please!

Comments { 6 }

Sweet Revenge.


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