Ask Jamie.

What was that you said? Oh! You want Jamie from Life Is Better With Me In It to give you parenting advice? Well, you’re in luck then. I asked Jamie get it? if she would do a parenting advice column for my blog.

What makes her qualified, you ask? Jamie is the mom of 5 month old twins, Clive and Scarlet, works in accounting, and has a child and family studies degree.

She told me she has no idea what she’s doing with her own children, let alone what others should do and that’s when I knew she would be perfect. What really makes her qualified is she tried to learn the “Single Ladies” dance but she got a huge bruise and never finished learning it.

See! If you’re stuck when it comes to how to deal with your children then Jamie can at least partially teach you the Single Ladies dance which would make your kids freeze up and stare at their crazy mommy or if they’re older it would embarrass them so much that they run out of the room and leave you alone thus ending their undesirable behavior.

When Jamie did a guest post a few weeks ago, she replied to a comment from Abby who blogs at Cajun Asian Chronicles and as you will see below, her advice couldn’t have been any better.

July 29, 2011 06:25

Hmmm, you definitely have something there with number one*…so since your advice was not readily available 14 years ago…please tell how to accomplish this with a teenager.  Thanks!

Abby

*1. I’ve heard many parents say “Give your children plenty of  praises” I say don’t. Instead, teach your children to praise you. You’re the one raising them, giving them free stuff. You deserve the most love.

July 29, 2011 07:29

Abby,
You’ve asked the right person for this advice. A lot of child experts will tell you to take away things like, cell phones, ipods, computers, etc. and not give them back until the teenager behaves. I agree with this to an extent.

You should take those items away, but make sure to replace them with electronics from the 90s. Make your teenager carry around a huge 90s cell phone, a walk men (not for CDs the cassette ones), and work on an old computer with dial up speeds.

 They’ll be so embarrassed they’re walking around looking lame and they’re beloved Facebook won’t load that they’ll never piss you off again.

Jamie

I hadn’t even thought of having a parenting advice column until Jamie was a guest blogger. Her post went up on the 28th and the next day I sent her an email about the idea of an advice colum and then anxiously waited for a reply. When Jamie said yes I did a happy dance that looked more like a cat throwing up a hairball because this mama doesn’t have any rythmn.

I’m using “parenting advice” very loosely. It’s more like par~entertaining advice.

My lawyer and sometimes late at night doctor, Mr. Google, told me I need to let you know that the parentertaining advice isn’t to be taken literally and is more for laughs than anything else. I’ve learned that some don’t always understand the language called funny or the language of my in-laws drive me crazy or I have a 2 year old that I love dearly but she’s making me crazy today. I’ve found by saying these things, they can piss people off. Obviously, these people will be missing out. ;^)

So, if you have a little one or an angsty tween/teen and are wondering what to do, Ask Jamie by emailing her at askjamiequestions at gmail dot com. or thisismommyhood at gmail dot com (I’m gradually changing my email address because I think it will be easier to remember but I’m still using my other one).

Depending on the response from readers, the parentertaining advice column will be either biweekly or once a month with a few questions answered in each column. You can also leave your questions in the comment section.

~~~

On a more personal and serious note, my thoughts are with Lexy from Mammy Woo who is dealing with Postpartum Depression. I absolutely adore Lexy and send her my love. xoxo

Ryan Ann from Live, Laugh, Love, Bake, who did a guest post last month, is going through the loss of her niece, Shana, who was taken way too soon. My heart goes out to her and her family. xx

Comments { 4 }

My cubby is whaty?

This guest post comes from the Mrs. who has been blogging since 2007. Her blog, a day in the life of the mrs, is a must read. She’s always left sweet and funny comments on my site since a few months after I started blogging. The Mrs. has also given me advice when it comes to the hummingbird when I’ve felt overwhelmed.

The Mrs. doesn’t sugar coat anything and that’s one of the things I love about her. She’s honest, frank, and has strong beliefs, all of which I admire.

While the Mrs. and I have different beliefs, it’s never been an issue and I can still take from the advice she’s given me even if we might parent a little differently. That’s what it’s all about. Not being judgy when it comes to parenting styles because we’re all in this together.

Recently I asked the Mrs. for advice when it came to the little hummingbird battling bedtime and I thank her for being there. Even though the hummingbird has been testing us and it’s been making me crazy, it helped to know that the Mrs. understands what I’m going through, times 5.

Q and A with the Mrs.

Elle: If the zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, which weapon would you want to have to fight these brain eaters?
A. a flame thrower.

B. an unlimited supply of ninja throwing stars.

C. a chainsaw.

D. a shoelace because you’re bad ass.

E. other and what would it be?

F. none of the above, I want to be a damn zombie!

the Mrs.:  i would like to have edward cullen as my weapon. first of all, he’s immortal so he could fight them off without injury. secondly, he’d probably have to remove his shirt to do so. double win. lastly, did i mention he’s hot? who needs a flame thrower when i can have a perpetually young vampire bodyguard?

Elle: If you could be stuck in an elevator with anyone who would it be?

the Mrs: i’m gonna have to go with either george w. bush or bob marley. i think ole GW is super cute and bob has to have some crazy stories!

Elle: Favorite guilty pleasure?

the Mrs.: really bad reality tv! i love all of the real housewives. it’s so tacky and over the top and i relish every moment of it. i also still watch mtv shows like the real world. because clearly i have not accepted that i’m a 33-year-old married mother of 5!

~~~

hi. i’m the Mrs. i’m married to a super hot guy and have five (yep, FIVE) little darlings. i also have a secret obsession that i could never write about on my own blog. why? because my readers are mainly conservative, christian mommies. have i piqued your interest yet? am i hoarder? am i a crackhead? do i eat toilet paper?

nope.

what’s my secret? i like to make up code names for female (and occasionally male!) genitals. you read that right. and i’ve dragged my husband into my twisted little mind. it’s really his fault anyway. this man can make anything sexual. don’t believe me? here’s an example:

we get into my minivan one day and i notice that the little cubby in the driver’s side door has water in it. so i ask him (because he’s a man so he should know the answer to any car related question)  “why is my cubby always wet?”  to which he replied “why is your cubby wet??” with a salacious tone.  so now we occasionally refer to my lady business as my wet cubby. see how that works?

so if you ever meet me in real life and you hear me say any of the following words, you will know what i am referring to!

wet cubby… lady bits… whoopie pie… special kitty (fyi this is also the name of the cat food we use. so don’t get confused. i’m not feeding the cat vaginas.)… lady business… pretty princess… little mrs… foxy brown… lady town… vajayjay… queen victoria… baby maker…

well, that’s all i can think of right now. this list is in no way comprehensive. feel free to judge me. just don’t tell my loyal readers. i’d like to maintain their misguided notions that i’m a sweet, innocent mom.  obviously we’ve had sex those five times but that’s all! i swear…

~If you would like to write a guest post, whether you have a blog or not, email me at elle dot mommyhood at gmail dot com.

Comments { 8 }

Total Recall Sunday: Banging my head against a spike would be more fun.

I was going to call this “Repost Sunday” but thought total recall Sunday sounded cooler. I was looking through my older posts and got the idea to repost one every now and then.

In other words, I’m going to do this whenever I feel like a lazy ass. I wouldn’t say that’s what I am today. It’s more like I’m an extremely tired ass. Whenever the little hummingbird gets sick her whole schedule gets screwed up, especially her bedtime schedule.

When she’s sick I make exceptions and suffer through things like a few extra episodes of Caillou but I still try to keep her close to her normal schedule. My hubby lets he get away with anything as it is but when she’s sick…Oy!!

I tell him that if you just let her get away with something once, that’s all it takes but he says it won’t matter. Then when the hummingbird gets better and he expects her to fall back into her regular routine, guess what happens? Yep! Where’s Supernanny when you need her?!

So, it’s been a very long and tiring week trying to “re-train” her when it comes to her bedtime schedule and I’m wiped out.

I wrote this post last year at the end of July when we were moving from the D.C. area to Northern California. It took longer to drive across the country than we had expected and by the time we got here, I was surprised my hubby and I hadn’t killed one another.

The hummingbird was 15 months old at the time.

~~~

The hubby will be known as buttmunch for this post.

Cue the Law and Order music.

DUH DUH

The buttmunch and I were packing and trying to get everything together since we were going to a hotel that night. I had the little girl’s things packed and went to get my things together. I asked my buttmunch if he could go downstairs and get some toys for the little girl.

DUH DUH

Around 8pm that night we were on the way to the hotel and the buttmunch went back to the house to pack some more. Soon after, I put the little girl to bed. I called the buttmunch a few times to remind him what to bring back to the hotel.

DUH DUH

The next morning my buttmunch went back to the house since the movers were coming, so it was just me and my daughter. After breakfast I went over to a box that the buttmunch brought and looked through it for toys.

DUH DUH

There weren’t any there so I looked through a few bags. Not there. I looked through her bag, my bag, the buttmunch’s bag. Nada. I was starting to panic but before I went into freak out mode, I looked through EVERYTHING again. Nope.

DUH DUH

It was raining outside and there wasn’t anything for her to play with inside. The little girl just had a few books I had packed in her bag and normally she loves to “read” her books. She must have smelled the fear on me because when I would give her a book, she would throw it on the ground and give me a bitch, please look.

Then she started to run around the room and whine. It was her special whine. The kind that makes me feel like my head is going to explode any minute.

DUH DUH

I then called the buttmunch. When he answered I politely and in a very calm tone, and not at all yelling *coughnotcough*, told him that we didn’t have any toys at the hotel room. He couldn’t bring the toys by (and I didn’t have the car) since he was waiting for the movers and told me that I “had the stroller, so there was that“.

May I remind you that it was raining.

DUH DUH

Buttmunch.

DUH DUH

I found a pack of tic tacs that she grabbed at the store the day before. She wouldn’t let them go and chewed off most of the wrapper so they were ours for keeps. Those only amused her for a few minutes.

While the little girl was racing around the room, I sat on the couch dazed from the lack of caffeine. I contemplated dragging the both of us to the hotel lobby so I could get my hands on some coffee and the little girl could run around in a bigger space.

To get to the lobby we had to go outside and walk what seemed like a mile in the pouring rain, so I decided it was best to just stay in the room.

DUH DUH

While I was twitching around from my caffeine withdrawal and a whiny toddler, I found two plastic spoons. I thought “Yay, she loves spoons!” A few seconds after giving her one, she dropped it on the nasty hotel room carpet. The same carpet that turned her white socks black within a few hours.

So I threw it away and gave her the second spoon. Same thing. Finally, I just let her start throwing things out of our bags onto the nasty carpet. The carpet Dateline NBC says is covered in fecal matter, salmonella, and sperm. I guess there are a lot of chickens that stay at hotels and have booty sex.

While the little girl was going through the bags, she struck gold. She found a Ziploc bag full of tampons, the ones that come in bright colors. She was entranced with my bag o’ tampons. The little girl started roaming around the room with the bag, shaking it and holding it above her head.

This kept her occupied for about 10 minutes. While she was playing with her new toy, I was looking through the bags again, not for toys but for anything resembling caffeine. No such luck.

DUH DUH

After she got bored with the bag, I spent the next seven hours repeatedly singing the Elmo Duck Song, Elmo’s Song, and letting her play with my cell phone (which surprisingly still works). I also got quite a workout staying in a room that wasn’t child-proofed. Finally after one of the longest. days. ever. the buttmunch came back to the room.

DUH DUH

Hmmm, what’s that sound? Is it me saying no sex for a week? Well, that’s nothing new.

*We’re still not in California. It has taken us forever to drive across the country and as of this morning we are in New Mexico, about an hour from Arizona. I finally got my hands on a new laptop (thanks to my sweet hubby, the buttmunch).

Comments { 7 }

Changes are a comin’.

I’ve been wanting to make changes to my blog for a while. I would love to completely have my blog designed the way I want it but when it comes to CSS and code, I suck. I changed my blog theme back to what I had previously since the other one I had won’t allow a drop down menu for the tabs above.

You’re so fascinated with all of this aren’t you? Wait, don’t answer.

I’m still going to have my regular rambling and quirky posts but I would really like to make my blog more than just whatever pops into this crazy head of mine. I’ve really been enjoying having guest bloggers because I love to hear about the experiences of other moms.

Obviously you can have your own blog for that but with some, that’s not really an option if family and friends are reading or you don’t have the time. That’s why the guest posts are for bloggers, people who don’t blog but would like to occasionally, and it’s also for those who want to be anonymous.

I’ve added a tab for kid friendly food and recipes. I had planned on setting that up a lot sooner but as you know, being a mama or dad is hard work and there’s little time for much else.

I’ve also added a tab called music box. I’m not exactly sure what I want to do with that yet but for as long as I can remember, music has always been a huge part of my life. When I first started my blog, I had a weekly post called Don’t Fret, It’s Music Monday and I would like to bring the music back.

I don’t know if I’ll just put up videos of songs that I’ve really been loving that particular week or what I’ll use that page for. I think it would be cool to use that page for not just me but other music lovers and have them write a music related guest post; a favorite concert, their wedding song, meeting a rock star, etc.

I love all kinds of music but my favorite is rock/indie/and folk although you don’t have to have the same musical tastes as I do to contribute. I want you to share what you love. I want to know what gets your booty shakin’ or your head banging.

I know my blog is small but I’ve surprised myself with how much I’ve fallen in love with blogging and I would really love for it to become more of a parenting community. Obviously, even when you have a child, that doesn’t stop you from loving the things that you did before.

Sure, it might put a wrench in the frequency that you’re able to enjoy these things. Instead of kicking back and watching old episodes of Sex And The City, I am forced to watch the Sprout channel or Nick Jr. Yay! Not! And instead of listening to cd’s that I love, Sublime’s 40 oz. To Freedom is one of my all time favorites (of course I have a lot of favorites), I get to hear The Wiggles sing Rock A Bye Your Bear and Fruit Salad, Yummy Yummy over and over.

I’m also adding a few more pages to my blog including a reading/book page. Again, I’m not sure exactly what I want to do with that page but I’m a voracious reader even though I’m not able to read as often as I’d like.

These changes are going to take some time because of my lack of time but I hope in the next couple of months it will come together. My mind just went in the gutter over that last bit. heh.

I had every intention of writing about the NICU experience my husband and I had and how extremely difficult it was. It’s something I need to write for me because I know it will help my feelings and emotions. I will get to it but I don’t know when.

The depression I’ve been in made me stop writing about it as well as a very traumatic experience right after I gave birth to the little hummingbird.  That’s also something I need to get out onto my blog for the same reasons as our NICU experience.

If anyone would like to contribute to my blog and/or a specific area (books, music, recipes, PPD, birth trauma, Postpartum PTSD or whatever else you can think of) then you’re more than welcome. Like I’ve told others, I can only pay you in linky love if you have a blog but I’d love to have different views and opinions.

If you don’t have a blog and want to contribute, my daughter can pay you in hummingbird cyber hugs. Email me at elle dot mommyhood at gmail dot com.

Elle xo

Comments { 9 }

A guest post from a stay at home mama who would battle zombies with her iPhone and is a huge Harry Potter fan.

This guest post comes from Emily who is a stay at home mom of two boys, 3 and 10 months old. Her husband works with the UN as an outside contractor. They moved from Virginia to Vienna, Austria this past spring and will be there for the next two years. She posts daily on her site Our Big Adventure-Dan and Em’s Blog.

I’m going to let Emily talk about her adventure in her own words since she can say it best. Take it away Emily!

The whole process of deciding, applying, getting approved, and moving took 18 months (we only had one child when we originally decided to go for it, and now we have two). It is completely unlike me to have taken on something like this. I’m a homebody — other than college, I’d never lived more than an hour away from my family.

I’d only travelled outside of the US twice in my entire life before this came up — once to Cancun, and once to the Bahamas on a cruise (and neither really feels like leaving the US). I’m not really sure what made me take this leap, except that it was a chance I didn’t know if we’d ever be able to take again — these opportunities don’t come along every day, and the boys are so little that it’s relatively easy for them to move (no school to pull them out of or anything).

Q and A with Emily.

I wish I could say I was able to hop on a plane to Vienna so I could ask Emily these questions but I had to stick with email. Damn email!

Elle: If you could drop everything and go anywhere (real or fantasy) in the world, where would it be?

Emily: Hogwarts.  I’m a huge Harry Potter fan.

Elle: If the zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, which weapon would you want to have to fight these brain eaters?

A. a flame thrower.

B. an unlimited supply of ninja throwing stars.

C. a chainsaw.

D. a shoelace because you’re bad ass.

E. other and what would it be?

F. none of the above, I want to be a damn zombie!

Emily: E. My iPhone.  It seems to be able to do everything else, so I imagine there’s an app for that, too.

Elle: What’s a favorite non-mommy activity?

Emily:  Horseback riding.  I’ve been riding since I was 8 and we have 3 horses that we had to leave behind when we came here.  I miss it (and them) a lot.

~~~

Helping A Stay At Home Mom

When you stay at home with your kids, lots of things are different if you work outside the home. There’s the obvious stuff: your job follows you 24/7 (including on vacation), you rarely get to use the bathroom by yourself, the concept of a coffee break is foreign to you, and you get to work in your pajamas.

Also, you truly become the CEO of your household. You can manage your kids, your home, the errands, and the dog, all at the same time, and all by yourself for 8 or 10 or 12 hours a day. So, when someone shows up and offers to “help”, however well-meaning, it often doesn’t work.

It’s not because you’re controlling or because you’re overly particular. It’s because you can juggle everything by yourself, so having a novice step in and try to help you just doesn’t: it messes up your regular rhythm and requires extra accommodation on your part (showing them what to do, explaining why, working around what they’re doing).

Maybe this isn’t specific to stay-at-home-moms: maybe this is just something that happens with whichever member of the family is the one who calls most of the shots and executes most of the plays. I just know it didn’t really show up in my life until I became a stay-at-home-mom.

Whether it’s friends or family, people want to help, which I can appreciate.  They want to help around the house, or help with the kids, but 99% of the time, they’re doing a job you don’t mind doing (because no one offers to help with the ones you’d really rather not be doing), they aren’t doing it as well as you would on your own and often, they’re unintentionally creating additional collateral damage that you’ll just have to rectify at some point.

I get that they want to help anyway, and it often is actually helpful, but sometimes it isn’t, particularly when they’re insistent on helping with a particular thing or in a particular way.  There’s usually no graceful way to turn down even the worst “help”, so you suck it up and accept it anyway and fix everything later.  But then they’re offended that you didn’t appreciate their help enough.  Why don’t people understand this?

I actually think I know. My dad used to be a professional house painter. I’ve helped him paint before, and when you start, you start with the inside of a closet. Why? Because your mistakes won’t show, you won’t be in his way, and he won’t have to redo your work. Instead of being a stay at home mom, imagine I was a cook at a busy restaurant.

Would anyone unfamiliar with that business or even with that particular restaurant assume they could walk in and actually take some of my load off on the first day? Or would they understand that maybe, after a few weeks of training, they could begin to actually be helpful?  The first few days would inevitably be more work for me — telling them what to do and how we do it, explaining my methods and demonstrating my rhythm.

What if I were a brain surgeon? Or an air traffic controller? Would just anyone think they could come in and help me do my job that I do every day without their help? I don’t think they would.

I think that, sadly, when people believe they can “help” a stay-at-home-mom without any training or experience, it’s really a form of condescension.  By “experience” I don’t mean just having kids, I mean being a stay-at-home-primary-caregiver. They would never assume to be able to help a “professional” with their work without any training or practice, but they think they can help “just” a mom.  It’s an overt demonstration of an internal feeling that a mom’s job is actually so easy that anyone can do it. Well, it isn’t.

I’m good at what I do and it took years of sweat, tears, and exhaustion to learn what works, what doesn’t, and the best way to take care of everyone and get everything done. If you want to help, sincerely, ask me what you can do and actually listen to the answers. You may not understand, but there is a method to my madness and a reason for everything I do. I’m happy to explain it, when I have the time.

You may have to paint in the closet at the beginning — try not to be offended. This job is harder than it looks.

Comments { 2 }

My husband likes to steal other people’s cats in his spare time.

My little girl decided to wake up at 4 am and didn’t want to go back to sleep but guess what? It’s now about 6 am and she’s sleeping soundly while I’m wide awake.

Since I’m up, let me tell you a story about a man named Jed. A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. Then one day he was shootin’ at some food. And up through the ground came a bubblin’ crude. Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.

Wait! Wrong story.

Even though it’s been four months since our kitty, Zira, has been missing, we’re still on the lookout for her. Last week my hubby came home from work and the little hummingbird wanted to go for a ride in her wagon.

He said he wasn’t going very far with the hummingbird but we’ve always had a difference of opinion when it comes to distance.

My version of not walking very far = walking maybe 5-10 minutes.

My hubby’s version of not walking very far = hiking 25 miles through a snowstorm, a monsoon, a tornado, up a big ass hill, and having it take most of the freaking day.

I was sick and laying on the couch. They had been gone for quite a while and I had fallen asleep. I woke up to the phone ringing. Our phone says who’s calling and when I heard it was my husband, I did what any good wife would do and ignored the call. Then he called again and I thought something must be going on so I picked up.

My husband told me that he might have found Zira and said to meet him at the playground down the street. I kept saying what? what? are you serious? what? because I couldn’t believe it and then I asked him where he was. He told me he couldn’t explain which probably meant he walked to the next state over from us so that’s why we need to meet at the playground and he also said to bring the cat kennel.

My hubby was having a hard time keeping hold of the cat and wanted help with the hummingbird. By the end of the phone call I was up off of the couch and so excited. I was wearing a t-shirt and boxer shorts but wanted to get to him asap and thought it was too time consuming to run upstairs to get my bra so instead I threw on my jacket to cover up the fact that I wasn’t wearing one, put on my flip-flops, found the cat kennel, and started running down the sidewalk to the playground.

There I was running down the street like a cracked out crazy woman, without a bra that I really need when I’m out in public. I was hoping I wouldn’t come across any children or parents because I didn’t want to scare them with my out of control boobs that were flipping around every which way.

I saw my hubby and as soon as I layed eyes on the cat, I was pretty sure it wasn’t Zira but I wasn’t 100% sure. We got back to our house and went to the backyard. My hubby was still holding the cat while we tried to figure out if it was our kitty. Then I was 100% certain that it wasn’t.

The cat was a tuxedo cat like Zira but there were things that were off. This cat had much bigger paws and seemed bulkier. I told my hubby that not only is it not our cat, I think this kitty is a boy. He pointed out that since Zira has been missing for months, she could have changed. I agreed but said unless there’s some kind of kitty steroids out in the wilderness, this isn’t our cat.

I even went to grab some pictures to show him. Zira had a small white mark on the left side of her nose but this cat had a bigger round white spot on the lower right side of its face. My husband still wasn’t convinced and said he wanted to keep the cat in the backyard and bring the kitty to our vet in the morning to see if it was microchipped.

As soon as he set the cat on the ground, it ran underneath his grill. We set out some food and water and went back inside. That’s when I asked my hubby where exactly did he find this cat. He told me while he and the hummingbird were walking past a house, he saw the kitty in the yard.

I said Oh my gawd! What if you have stolen someone’s kitty and they were inside their house watching?!  While the cat appeared to be healthy and fed, it did seem like it had been a stray for a while so we didn’t think that would actually be the case but it didn’t stop me from calling my hubby a cat napper for the rest of the night.

There’s a scene in the movie Julie & Julia where Julie has to cook live lobsters and her husband keeps saying lobster killer in a sing-song voice. That was how I was saying cat napper and by the end of the night both my hubby and I kept on singing cat napper.

I was on pins and needles waiting for my hubby to return from the vet the next day. The cat ended up not being Zira which I knew but it was microchipped. The problem is the microchip only had info for a vet in North Carolina and our vet’s office kept on trying to contact them but there was no answer.

We were talking about what to do next and then a light bulb went on. We both looked at each other with an oh shit, this kitty probably has been cat napped look. I told my husband he should go back over to the house where he found the cat. Hold on….

Bwahahahahahaha. *breathes* Hahahahahahahahaha.

Okay, I’m back.

He went over to the house to ask if they by any chance had a cat. The only person home was the teenage daughter and she said they do have a cat and they’re from North Carolina. So my hubby came back to our house and got their poor, traumatized, stolen kitty while I was practically in hysterics because I couldn’t stop laughing and peed myself a little.

From what my cat napper husband got from the girl he talked to, the cat is always outdoors so it didn’t seem like this family even noticed their cat was missing.

My husband’s intentions were good and he was really convinced that it was Zira. It was an honest mistake but a funny one……that I can hold over him.

If he ever complains that I don’t cook that often, which I know he never will or else he’d get a knee to his nuts, I can always say Well, at least I didn’t steal someone’s cat. Or if the little hummingbird wakes up in the middle of the night and I don’t want to get out of our warm and cozy bed, I can say Hey cat napper, she’s all yours. People who steal someone else’s cat right out of their own yard have to get up.

This cat napping is like a get out of cooking and cleaning jail free card. Woo hoo!

To my husband’s credit, Zira and the stolen cat did look similar.

Our precious and dearly missed cat, Zira.

~~~

The kitty my cat napper husband took.

~~~

And just because, a photo of Maisy. My hubby finally set up the fish tank for the little hummingbird since she loves going to the local aquarium. We have 2 goldfish so far and Maisy seems much more interested in the fish than my little girl.

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Close encounters of the two orbs.

This guest post comes from Heather who’s a new mama to a very precious little girl and has the blog, Musings From An Old-New Life.

I asked Heather to name her 3 favorite movies and songs because I was going to try to incorporate them into the title of the post but as the little hummingbird would say: I’m stuck!

Since I couldn’t think of a title, I did what I normally do. I started over thinking and then stopped thinking about it altogether. Then when I was at the ENT doctor yesterday and as he was putting that awful probe up my nose, the title just popped into my head. The lesson? Stop thinking. Okay, maybe not.

Here are some of the awesome movies Heather loves. The first one is the awesomest (it’s a word) and it brings me back to my childhood. You’re probably thinking shut the hell up and tell me what it is.

The Goonies!

My sister and I would watch that movie over and over again and I’m sure it drove our mom nuts.

A few others are Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!, the Lord Of The Rings trilogy, and all 8 of the Harry Potter films.

Q and A with Heather.

Elle: What’s a favorite non-mommy activity?

Heather: Going to a B&B with a cool jacuzzi tub, reading, and eating chocolate covered blueberries. All done either separately or together!

Elle: What song(s) makes you want to dance around your house and/or bring you back to your teen years?

Heather: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

Elle: If you could be stuck in an elevator with anyone, who would it be?

Heather: I would love to be stuck in an elevator with my brother.  He passed away several years ago, and had severe spastic CP.  Would love if he could have the ability to talk, or even if not, his computer to use so we could have some great chats. I miss him dearly.

Elle: If you could drop everything and go anywhere (real or fantasy) in the world, where would it be?

Heather: Hmm, tough.  I would have to say, since Mike and I have not had a real honeymoon yet, Kauai, Scotland, and then Disneyworld.  That would be cool!

Elle: If the zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, which weapon would you want to have to fight these brain eaters?

A. a flame thrower.

B. an unlimited supply of ninja throwing stars.

C. a chainsaw.

D. a shoelace because you’re bad ass.

E. other and what would it be?

F. none of the above, I want to be a damn zombie!

Heather: E. My husband. Cause he LOVES killing zombies, is quite proficient, and sometimes plays said zombies on LEFT 4 DEAD and believes that he can sometimes think like one.

Therefore, because of his proficiency and zombie madness, I would pick him to defend me from them. I know. Kinda lame to pick the hubby, but I love my computer geek husband and he is quite good at slaying zombies.

Elle: If you could send any celebrity/reality star into space so you’d never had to hear about them again, who would it be?

Heather: Dude, Charlie Sheen.  WTF is wrong with that guy?

~~~

Comic Relief Moment

Yeah, I know.  Weird, random, topic for a funny…. but that’s me. Weird and random and sometimes certifiable. Plus, when you have nothing to really write about except the odd musings that pass through your head, these musings can prove to be oddly hysterical when later pondering them.

I was told once, by Sunshine’s pediatrician and her lactation consultant, that babies can often be scared of their “large breasted” mommies. Odd, I know. But I suddenly felt a “large” sense of pride today in seeing that my little Sunshine’s head is *finally* larger than my breasts.

When beginning this part of the journey, I felt unsure, intimidated by friends who had been so successful, and fearful that I may not have success.  Then again, seeing this large orb zooming in towards my little girl’s face was slightly daunting (and this was from my perspective, not hers).

I mean, I have always been rather satisfied with my voluptuous curves, knowing that second to my eyes, “the ta-tas” are a pleasing part of my form. However, when my milk came in I was overly self-conscious about their size and *gasp* weight. I thought I had lower back problems before, but this is ridiculous.

I also was so worried that Sunshine would fall into that number of babies who truly HAD something to be afraid of by these orbs.  Suffocation due to ORB. This was not a pleasing thought.

Surprisingly, Sunshine latched on with a fierce voraciousness. In fact, she was like a little tiger cub, ravenously growling at said boob, and tugging and pulling as she does. God help me if I am still breast feeding when her teeth come in.

So, should I be surprised that with her rapacious appetite her little head has exceeded the size of her orb-like food vessel?  No, not really.  But just seeing the actual visual of her growth and learning has just got me dumbfounded and in aw.  She really is a precious gift.

So, the feeding goes on, the growth continues. Now, if only I can get rid of this butt that has gotten exponentially larger with all this sitting and feeding, and *yawn* trying to sleep any spare moment I can catch up.  THAT would also be something worth writing about. The loss of the butt that is, not the sitting/feeding/and *yawn*, sleeping.

Until next time, may your days be blessed and filled with giggles!

~If you would like to write a guest post, whether you have a blog or not, email me at elle dot mommyhood at gmail dot com.

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