When I First Got Married I Thought Couples Who Had Seperate Bedrooms Were Crazy. Several Years Later, I Think It’s The Best Idea Ever!

Time: 10 pm-ish

Place: Bedroom

And…Action!

My hubby likes to lie in bed and have quiet time. He’ll read his Mother Jones or Popular Science magazine with our cat laying on his chest. I’ll be watching Friends and occasionally the hubby will point something out in his magazine. I’ll nod, pretend I’m paying attention, and say something like “uh huh” or “oh cool”. After awhile he’ll put down his magazine, give the cat a few treats that she’ll puke up later, and turn off the light. Now this is where the fun starts.

Within ten minutes he’s snoring….loudly. Then he’ll start grinding his teeth. Ree Ree Ree Ree.

He hurt his leg awhile ago which can cause twitchy spasms. Maybe it’s because I keep my toenails so short but I think his toenails can rival Freddy Krueger. So his twitchy leg spasms trigger his Freddy Krueger toenails and he starts scratching the shit out of the sheets. Riiip Riiip Riiip.

Oh and did I mention that he likes to hang his feet over the end of the bed. So let’s recap.

He’s snoring away like a bear. Teeth grinding. Ree Ree Ree Ree. Leg twitching all over the place. Toenails slashing away at the sheets Riiip Riiip Riiip. And his feet are constantly pulling the covers down while I continually grab at them and pull up, grab and pull up.

I’m usually not asleep at this point, I mean how would that even be possible? By this time I’m reading US Weekly or watching Chelsea Handler. Every now and then I punch him in the arm or jab his twitchy leg with my foot lightly tap him to stop his snoring.

A few hours later I’ll still be wide awake, reading or on the computer. His snoring will be so loud that it will usually wake him up. He’ll look at the clock and see how late it is. Then he’ll tell me he can’t sleep and that I’m keeping him up. He’s lucky that I love him so much.

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On The Road Again…

My hubby has been in the military for several years and in a week, we’ll be moving from the East Coast to the West Coast. I’ve lost track of how many times we’ve moved but I think it’s around 8 or 9. It wasn’t so bad when we were on the West Coast and moved from Seattle to San Diego. A couple of years later we moved from San Diego to Northern California.

But moving from N. Cali to the East Coast just plain sucked. At first eating in restaurants is okay, but after a few days I would give anything for a home cooked meal. My hubby is a man of few words so sitting in the car with him for 10-12 hours a day is torture made me loopy. Also I don’t like germy things and staying in a hotel room thanks Dateline NBC really flares up my OCD hand washing.

There’s the comforter on the bed ewww, the carpet that just feels nasty which is why I bring slippers to wear and then burn them later on, that one hair that I always find on the sheet of the bed that doesn’t belong to me or my husband, and don’t even get me started if there’s a mini fridge in the room again thanks Dateline. I just want to douse myself in purrell and put on a biohazard suit.*

Once we finally did get to the East Coast, without killing each other, my hubby treated me to 3 days in a pretty fancy schmancy hotel suite while we looked for a place to live.

Last time we moved we only had our cat,** who makes the most awful gutteral sounds when she’s in the car, and various house plants along for the ride. This time we have our little girl and I am at a loss when it comes to what I should bring for her and what she can do without. At 15 months old and with an attention span of about 2 or 3 minutes if that, I don’t even know how I’m going to keep her occupied in the car.

I’m sure I’ll be using my twitter account often and there will be plenty of crazy tweets from me. Just don’t hold it against me and keep in mind that I’ll be sitting in the car with my hubby who doesn’t talk, a very unhappy cat, and an impatient toddler. Who knows how the house plants are gonna act.

*Since we have a cat while traveling, most of the hotels we’ve stayed at give us a “pet room” and they are pretty gnarly, at least the ones we’ve been in.

**The vet suggested we give our cat a 1/4 of a Benadryl once a day to keep her calm while in the car. Hahaha, easier said than done. First we had to chase her around the house (she knew something was up). Then we had to try to get her mouth open long enough to get the pill in.

We finally got it down her throat but within a few minutes she started hacking and then she started foaming at the mouth. And foaming. And foaming some more (which is why I think it’s hilarious whenever someone on Top Chef makes something like a lobster foam. It looks like something a cat puked up).

The Benadryl got our cat so hyper, she was bouncing off the walls of her carrier (she was like that dog in There’s Something About Mary) while making those awful gutteral sounds. We will never. do. that. again. Fun times!

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Too Much Info.

Random things about me…

1. Dexter is one of my favorite shows. Along with Nurse Jackie, Weeds, and most of the Showtime lineup.

2. I like having shaved legs and crawling into bed that has clean sheets.

3. Since I was 9 years old, I’ve been “in love” with Johnny Depp. Shaved legs, clean sheets, and J.D. ooh la la. Just kidding not really, love you hubs!

4. I LOVE music, especially rock and indie. I love everything from Red Hot Chili Peppers to Pearl Jam. Some of my favorite musicians are Andrew Bird, Damien Rice, and Ani DiFranco.

5. I don’t like making numbered lists and feel like such a dork for doing so.

6. I’m painfully shy so I can come off as cold and aloof which I hate because I don’t see myself that way at all. I also have panic attacks. Yay me!

7. I think Lindor milk chocolate truffles are orgasmic.

8. 90% of the time my daughter melts my heart. 10% of the time I wish Calgon would take me away.

9. I have a girl crush on Naomi Watts, Kerry Washington, and Lauren Ambrose (Claire from Six Feet Under).

10. If I don’t get US Weekly in the mail by Saturday I get twitchy.

11. I like reality t.v. (Bridezillas, Kendra, The Little Couple, Top Chef), although I feel guilty watching some of the shows Kardashians. So I don’t normally tell people about those….sshhh.

12. No matter how many times I’ve seen The Notebook or My Big Fat Greek Wedding, whenever I see that they’re on television, I HAVE to watch them.

13. I have a small dolphin tattoo on my ankle and love anything that has to do with the ocean, except eels, they freak me out BIG TIME.

14. At one time or another I’ve had my belly button, eyebrow, and tongue pierced. Currently it’s just my ears that are pierced.

15. When I was about 6 months old, my grandfather’s wife took me to get my ears pierced…..without asking my mom first.

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Go Speed Racer, Go!

Since she started walking back in June, my little girl is like a hummingbird on crack. My head spins when I watch her race from room to room. I jump around constantly trying to keep her out of harms way and sometimes fail. My body contorts itself in ways I never thought possible. I feel like Linda Blair without the whole possessed by the Devil part although the hubby would probably beg to differ.

Peeing has become an Olympic sport for me. While I’m doing my business, my little girl will walk into the bathroom and stick her hand in the garbage. I take her hand out. She opens up the sink cabinet. I take my foot and close it. She’ll start closing the bathroom door on her fingers. I grab the door just in time. You get the picture. I’ve become a ninja of sorts. My little girl is so hyperkinetic.

It wasn’t too long ago that I would lay her down somewhere and she would, GASP, stay put. In her early months I would have trouble finding the time to take a shower, do laundry, or anything that would require me to take my eyes off of her for a second because oh my gawd what if I missed out on her doing something!! Ahem. I look back and see how much time I did have and think to myself why the hell didn’t I take advantage of it because now, that ship has sailed.

*A big thanks to Stesha for help with my link issue!

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Bloggity blog.

I came across my first blog* about 1 1/2 years ago and that first blog opened the door to reading others. During that time I was pregnant with my little girl and it was so nice to actually hear women speak truthfully about their kids and their lives, I absolutely love it.

For months I’ve been thinking about starting my own blog** but kept putting it off. I used to love writing but hadn’t done it in so long. Finally I said screw it and on July 2nd this site was “born”.

I know I have a lot to learn in the bloggity world*** and there’s also some technical things that have me perplexed. I just can’t think of what they are right now since my little girl is downstairs with my hubby and she’s screaming. It’s making my brain melt.

It’s so cheesy but I’m really hoping to find my “voice” with this blog and I know I’m not anywhere near that right now. What I have in my head hasn’t been translating the way I want it to on this site….yet. So basically what I’m trying to say is bear with me well you really don’t have to. It’s not like I’m going to tie you to a chair and make you read my rambling thoughts. I’ll leave it at that because my daughter is still screaming and having a tantrum so my brain has shut. down.

*The first blog I ever read was Anne Nahm and for however long she posts, I’ll read it.

**I’m still playing around with the way this site looks so it might change in the next week.

***If someone can tell me how to put links in my blog posts, I will love you forever. You will be the wind beneath my wings.

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I Heart My Daughter.

As soon as I found out I was pregnant I knew it was a girl. Before I even found out I was preggers I should have known something was up since I LOVE chocolate but wanted things that were lemony instead. Me pass up chocolate?…never. I was craving citrus and all things fruity. My mom even told me that’s what she craved when she was pregnant with me so I was convinced it was a girl.

Then when I was about 4 months along I started craving beef and horror movies. That’s when I thought maybe I was wrong and I was having a boy instead. So when my hubby and I went for my 20 week ultrasound, we couldn’t wait to find out what we were having. But alas the little babe was being shy so we had to wait another 4 looong weeks to find out the sex. At this point I was going against my instinct by thinking it was definitely a boy.

When I look back though, I think a lot of it had to do with the whole men want a son to do all those manly man things with. I’m not saying all men think like that, but it kinda sorta seems that way. In my hormonal thinking, I was worried that my hubby wouldn’t care about our baby as much or be as enthusiastic if it was a girl. So when we found out that yes we were having a girl, and I should never doubt my instincts, I remember holding my breath just waiting for my hubby’s reaction. He seemed fine with the revelation although in the back of my mind I was still worried.

Then our daughter was born and, WOW, she has him wrapped around her finger. I couldn’t ask for a better father to my daughter. Growing up I watched my stepdad be an armchair dad. He would always bark orders at my mom from his lazy boy chair when it came to dealing with my little sister…and everything else for that matter. But my hubby is so hands on with our little girl and she just adores him. Since I didn’t have the best experiences and that’s an understatement with my biological dad or stepdad, I feel like my heart is finally on the mend when I see my hubby with our beautiful little girl.

The little girl.

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Where Art Thou Brain?

When I was pregnant my brain stopped working, it just went poof. While I was reading baby books including What To Expect and Let’s Freak You Out About All The Things That Can Go Wrong In Your Pregnancy, I came across the term “pregnancy brain”. Woo Hoo I thought, I’m not going more mental than I already am. I would do things like make a phone call and while it was ringing, forget who I was even calling. Wait….I did that even before I was pregnant.

Anyway the one preggo brain thing I did that stands out since I can’t remember most of the others is when I decided to make dinner. I am not a cook in any way, shape, or form so this was monumental. I just don’t like it and when I do cook there’s a lot of swearing and yelling.

After I baked my cheese enchiladas and had them sitting on the stove, I was impatiently waiting for the spanish rice. The rabid pregnancy hunger was creeping up on me like a sledgehammer. Every minute I waited for that damn rice seemed like an hour. Finally, ding!, the rice was done. I took the lid off with fork in hand and saw that for the last 15 minutes I had been simmering water….yes. just. water.

So after I actually put the rice in and triple checked just to make sure, I waited another 15 minutes. While I waited again, my rabid hunger was at its peak so I had a pre-dinner dinner. What? I was eating for 2. After I had my daughter I couldn’t wait to get my brain back. 14 months later, I’m still waiting.

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