Stuck…And Ranty.

I’ve been writing a handful of posts and by writing I mean staring blankly at my computer, writing a little, and then deleting it. I am totally stuck. There has been so much going on and maybe my brain is just too overloaded to write without being so whiny. I’m feeling so overwhelmed and on the verge of tears.  But then I think there are worse things going on in the world. Who am I to bitch about not finding a house?

There is great potential in a house that we’re seeing later today. I’m not getting my hopes up though because every house we’ve looked at, with the exception of the one where the realtor won’t call us back, has just been meh.

Trust me, I’m not being picky. At this point I’m so desperate to get out of this hotel room that I’ve told my hubby several times that we should just pitch a tent somewhere.

We saw a house that was okay with the exception of a horrible mildewy, musty old person smell AND there was a graveyard behind it. There was another house that was actually pretty nice except it had a cliff right in the backyard and no fence. Just perfect for a 15 month old…not!

Then there was the house that hasn’t been updated in 30 years, I kid you not, but on the plus side it had new carpet, that was an awful monkey shit brown color.

On top of that, we found out yesterday that the movers aren’t anywhere near California. Our stuff is still on the east coast….in storage. We were told that the movers were arriving here on August 1st so we’ve been in a mad rush to find a house by then.

 We’ve  turned down some great houses because they weren’t available until mid August. Now it looks like that’s when the movers will get here, so we could’ve had one of those houses but they’re already rented.

I’ll quit my bitching for now and leave you with this:

My little hummingbird.

 

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TMI Friday.

Whenever I’m driving and notice a cop behind me, I get so self-conscious about my driving and have to pull over. I don’t know why I get into such a panic. It’s not like I’m a bank robber…..or am I?

Out of all the places we’ve lived since my hubby joined the military, Seattle is by far my favorite. We lived there from June 2002 – December 2003 and I feel homesick for it from time to time. Even though I’m a California girl, Seattle truly felt like home and I’m hoping we can move there permanently someday.

I love it when my daughter gets sleepy and starts “singing”. It’s one of the sweetest sounds in the world.

A few nights ago my hubby was putting  footie pajamas on our daughter.

Hubby: “Her leg just doesn’t want to go in the opening”.

*After a bunch of pulling and stretching he finally gets her leg all the way in*

Hubby: “Wait a second, this leg doesn’t have a footie but the other one does”.

Me: Looks over to see.  “That’s because you just stuck her leg in the arm hole”.

My mom and I get the church giggles whenever we hear “Black Caucus”.

I saw this on someone’s FB page and loved it.

Jane Austen’s Fight Club

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Queue Me Up.

Last week when I was without a computer, I went to use one at our hotel’s “business center”. They had two computers, one was from the Stone Age, the other from Roman Times.

When I went in one morning, I saw that some guy was on the Roman one. Damn. I hadn’t used the Stone Age one yet, but I was there when the hubby used it the day before and it wasn’t a pretty sight.

I was trying to do this, that, and the other and quickly found out that the fraking computer couldn’t do the simplest things. I would type something or click on a link and it had a 5 minute delay.

So while I’m waiting and waiting, the computer goes apeshit and starts opening up new windows. I kept on trying to x them off (get your mind out of the gutter) but I couldn’t keep up and 60 windows opened up.

I kept on looking over at the guy next to me, hoping that he’d get up soon so I could use that computer. He was on Netflix, looking at his queue for a good 30 minutes. I was getting really annoyed and hemming and hawing, hoping this guy would get the picture.

Of course he didn’t and I took to twitter mentioning that this guy is just staring blankly at his Netflix queue.

Before I could finish tweeting, the computer froze up. I kept trying to shut it down and restart it. I couldn’t just say screw it and walk away from the computer because I didn’t want to leave my twitter account open. While I continuously clicked on Ctrl+Alt+Del, the guy looks over at me and asks if I have a Netflix account.

Why. did. I. say. yes?

He said that he couldn’t figure out how to rearrange the order of his movies and delete others. I tried to explain what to do but since the computer was so crappy, it wouldn’t budge.

While waiting for his computer to do something, the guy told me there were several movies in his queue that he had to delete because some of them had less than 3.8 stars. Um, okay.

Weird guy: How do you decide what movies to put in your queue?

Me: It usually has a lot to do with the actors that are in the movie and the plot.

*crickets*

He looked at me like I was an alien who just ran over a kitten with my spaceship.

Weird guy: You don’t go by the number of stars the movie gets?

Me: Not usually since the ratings are subjective.

Weird guy: So you have movies in your queue that have less than 3.8 stars?

Me: Uh huh. Thinking to myself I need to get logged out of the other computer and get the hell away from this weird guy. Also wondering why he has such a hard on for 3.8 stars.

Weird guy: Do you know anything about this movie; points to the number one movie on his queue, 10 Things I Hate About You.

Me: No, sorry. I haven’t seen it. (Liar, I’ve only seen it about 20 times.)

Weird guy: Well do you think I would like it?

Me: How many stars does it have? (heh)

Weird guy: 3.8

Me: Sure. (Yeah, right. Because a weirdo in his 60’s would just love that kind of movie. Uh wait, he just might.)

I start gesturing to one of the guys at the reception desk and tell him the computer is frozen while Mr. Weirdo McWeirdyson continues down his list of movies.

The reception guy helps me log off the Stone Age computer and I say a quick sorry, gotta go to the weird guy and leave him to his 3.8 star rated movies. I went back to the hotel room and told my hubby that we have to go and get a laptop right. now.

*I got a netbook because of all the features it had i.e it was cute. I soon found out it was just too small i.e I’m getting old and couldn’t see the screen that well. A few days ago we went to exchange it for a regular sized laptop and I’m in lurve. It’s my new baby and I’ve even named it Tobias, Toby for short.

While waiting forever for someone to help us get the computer out of lockdown at Best Buy (can’t they have more than one key, and why does that person with the sainted key always seem to be missing), I was thinking how that movie Inception with Leo DiCaprio looks pretty cool.

Then I started thinking of the movie This Boy’s Life that he was in and how it was based on the true story of writer Tobias Wolff. When I finally got the computer in my hands, I automatically called it Toby. I’m glad I wasn’t thinking of the guy that was “helping” us or my new laptop would be called dumbass.

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Don’t Fret, It’s Music Monday! Pomplamoose

Pomplamoose – Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

We’re finally in Northern California and on our first night here we got kicked out of our hotel room for having our cat. This is a chain we’ve been staying at for more than 10 years whenever we move because they allow pets. After the 8 day drive to get here and the sheer exhaustion we had, it never occurred to us that this hotel in particular wouldn’t allow pets.

When we found the hotel that we’re currently at, we were stuck in a very tiny room. We literally couldn’t walk in the room without tripping over our bags.

This morning my hubby was able to get a much bigger room here and the little girl even has a room to herself so we don’t have to do a lights out at 7:30pm. Needless to say, doing that the night before really sucked.

We found a house but we can’t get ahold of the rental guy. We’ve done everything short of sending out a carrier pigeon to get in touch with him. As soon as I saw the house, I knew we have to live there. So now the other houses we’ve looked at don’t even compare. Hopefully we’ll hear from this guy soon.

 In the meantime we’ll be looking at houses that I’ll kinda sorta like but don’t really want to live in. On that note, Dude pick up your phone and check your damn email. We gots to get that house!

*If you would like to see something in particular for Music Monday drop me an email or leave a comment. Bands and musicians that aren’t mainstream are especially welcome but anything goes.

 It’s also fine if it’s a video you haven’t seen since the 8th grade when you had a major crush on that guy who wouldn’t give you the time of day but is now bugging you on Facebook. Ahem, not that I would know anything about that. 

If you have a blog, make sure to add the URL in your email so I can link your site. C’mon, don’t be shy. Have a great Monday!

elle(dot)mommyhood(at)gmail(dot)com

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Banging My Head Against A Spike Would Be More Fun.

The hubby will be known as buttmunch for this post.

Cue the Law and Order music.

DUH DUH

The buttmunch and I were packing and trying to get everything together since we were going to a hotel that night. I had the little girl’s things packed and went to get my things together. I asked my buttmunch if he could go downstairs and get some toys for the little girl.

DUH DUH

Around 8pm that night we were on the way to the hotel and the buttmunch went back to the house to pack some more. Soon after, I put the little girl to bed. I called the buttmunch a few times to remind him what to bring back to the hotel.

DUH DUH

The next morning my buttmunch went back to the house since the movers were coming, so it was just me and my daughter. After breakfast I went over to a box that the buttmunch brought and looked through it for toys.

DUH DUH

There weren’t any there so I looked through a few bags. Not there. I looked through her bag, my bag, the buttmunch’s bag. Nada. I was starting to panic but before I went into freak out mode, I looked through EVERYTHING again. Nope.

DUH DUH

It was raining outside and there wasn’t anything for her to play with inside. The little girl just had a few books I had packed in her bag and normally she loves to “read” her books. She must have smelled the fear on me because when I would give her a book, she would throw it on the ground and give me a bitch, please look.

Then she started to run around the room and whine. It was her special whine. The kind that makes me feel like my head is going to explode any minute.

DUH DUH

I then called the buttmunch. When he answered I politely and in a very calm tone, and not at all yelling *coughnotcough*, told him that we didn’t have any toys at the hotel room. He couldn’t bring the toys by (and I didn’t have the car) since he was waiting for the movers and told me that I “had the stroller, so there was that“.

May I remind you that it was raining.

DUH DUH

Buttmunch.

DUH DUH

I found a pack of tic tacs that she grabbed at the store the day before. She wouldn’t let them go and chewed off most of the wrapper so they were ours for keeps. Those only amused her for a few minutes.

While the little girl was racing around the room, I sat on the couch dazed from the lack of caffeine. I contemplated dragging the both of us to the hotel lobby so I could get my hands on some coffee and the little girl could run around in a bigger space.

To get to the lobby we had to go outside and walk what seemed like a mile in the pouring rain, so I decided it was best to just stay in the room.

DUH DUH

While I was twitching around from my caffeine withdrawal and a whiny toddler, I found two plastic spoons. I thought “Yay, she loves spoons!” A few seconds after giving her one, she dropped it on the nasty hotel room carpet. The same carpet that turned her white socks black within a few hours.

So I threw it away and gave her the second spoon. Same thing. Finally, I just let her start throwing things out of our bags onto the nasty carpet. The carpet Dateline NBC says is covered in fecal matter, salmonella, and sperm. I guess there are a lot of chickens that stay at hotels and have booty sex.

While the little girl was going through the bags, she struck gold. She found a Ziploc bag full of tampons, the ones that come in bright colors. She was entranced with my bag o’ tampons. The little girl started roaming around the room with the bag, shaking it and holding it above her head.

This kept her occupied for about 10 minutes. While she was playing with her new toy, I was looking through the bags again, not for toys but for anything resembling caffeine. No such luck.

DUH DUH

After she got bored with the bag, I spent the next seven hours repeatedly singing the Elmo Duck Song, Elmo’s Song, and letting her play with my cell phone (which surprisingly still works). I also got quite a workout staying in a room that wasn’t child-proofed. Finally after one of the longest. days. ever, the buttmunch came back to the room.

DUH DUH

Hmmm, what’s that sound? Is it me saying no sex for a week? Well, that’s nothing new.

*We’re still not in California. It has taken us forever to drive across the country and as of this morning we are in New Mexico, about an hour from Arizona. I finally got my hands on a new laptop (thanks to my sweet hubby, the buttmunch).

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Don’t Fret, It’s Music Monday! Andrew Bird

Andrew Bird – A Nervous Tic Motion Of The Head To The Left

Andrew Bird – Why

If you’re reading this, then I haven’t been able to get to a computer and I’m out of touch with celebrity gossip. What crazy thing did Mel Gibson say or do this week? Did Britney Spears finally chop off that ratty weave? Inquiring minds want to know! Hopefully we’re very close to California by now. Have a great Monday!

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TMI Friday.

Just a few musings from my hubby this week.

Hubby looking around his closet while packing.

Oh Wise One: I guess shoes start falling apart after 10 years. And if you haven’t worn them in 20, you should throw them away.

While watching a show with Liza Minelli…

Hubby: Who is she?

Me: Explains to hubby who Liza is.

Hubby: Didn’t she have that lip-synching scandal?

Me: Uh, No. That was Milli Vanilli.

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