Essential Oil Junkie

A few years ago, I became a major tea freak and went crazy for everything Teavana. This time around it’s essential oils. I’ve used them for years in the skin care products I make, in my favorite non-toxic cleaner, and soap bars. For several months now, I’ve been using them on myself and recently started to diffuse in the house.

After trying several different brands, I found I like doTerra the best. I’m not getting paid way to say that by the way. I was a little worried about getting a proprietary oil since I’m very particular about smell and the first oil I decided on was Serenity. Among the blend is lavender, roman chamomile, and vanilla bean.

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I decided to buy the oils straight from doTerra since I read what seemed like too many comments on Amazon saying some of the oils seem fake.

I also go these glass roll on bottles along with fractionated coconut oil to mix in with the oil. It makes for a less messy application. The hummingbird was seeing me put this on my feet every night and now she loves to use it too. When in doubt about where to place essential oils, place it on the bottom of your feet, under your big toe. Feet have the largest pores so it sucks that oil right up.

After so long, I decided to try doTerra Balance and Breathe since I had the flu (using OnGuard is great too) and couldn’t stop coughing, plus asthma. I also finally got a diffuser.

The first diffuser I got works really well but it’s small and only last for 3 hours at the most. I realized that I need to spend more money for one that will last through the night. So, I just got this one that I’m very happy with and it lasts several hours. I’ve already put the smaller diffuser in the hummingbird’s room, which she really likes.

The only issue I had with the new diffuser, which was my own fault, is that I didn’t put the lid on very well so water sloshed all over the place.

I’ve been very pleased with the smells of the oils I’ve gotten so far. I have the nose of a dog and can gag at perfume smells especially if it’s to overpowering but I haven’t had that problem with these oils. It can take a few tries to get used to the smell though.

During the day, I diffuse Balance, which has spruce, blue tansy, and frankincense. It promotes calmness and tranquility.

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At night, I alternate with Breathe, which has lemon, peppermint, and cardamom, and Serenity.

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Because of my anxiety and insomnia, I feel like some of the oils I’ve been using have helped to lessen the effects of all my nighttime worry, stress, and panic I have once I hit the bed.

There are several more doTerra oils I want to try out but because of the expense, I’m trying not to go crazy. I’m still on an anti-depressant but it’s nice to incorporate something more natural to help with my anxious feelings.

Something else I started using since the winters are so tough here and I have SAD during this season is an energy light lamp. I wish I had gotten one sooner. I finally decided on Lightphoria which is pricey but I wanted to get something that wasn’t going to break within a week.

So, while essential oils and light therapy doesn’t miraculously cure you overnight and I still have my bad days, I’m finding that it has been helping to make things a little less overwhelming.

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Kids Have No Filter

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Kids love to tell the truth, the more brutal, the better. Kids will most certainly keep your ego in check… and possibly embarrass the hell out of you.

After putting my daughter to bed…

5 yo: Will you tell me if you’re going downstairs?

Me: I always do. You know, you don’t need to tell me that every night.

5 yo: I know. But you’re old and might forget.

~~~~~

When I made spinach and goat cheese quiche last week.

Her: Mom… this really doesn’t look good.

Her: And it smells like cat puke.

~~~~~

Standing in line at Target.

Her: Mom, that lady looks like a grandma (the next lane over).

Me: She does.

Her: Is she the grandma you called an asshole for driving so slow?

Me: Well, umm, she might be.

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Marriage Before Kids Vs. Marriage After

Sex

Before – Having sex anywhere you please and for as long as you want.

After – Lying in bed together late at night, getting frisky, and then a few minutes later, hear the slightest noise and scramble to put your clothes back on when it just ended up being one of your cats getting into mischief.

The next morning while our young daughter is watching her favorite cartoons, run into the bathroom together, lock the door, and have a quickie. But our daughter always seems to have the spidey sense to figure out we’re missing and starts banging on the door, asking us why it’s locked. “Um, uh, your dad and I had something we needed to talk about really quick.” Or “Oh, was the door locked? I’m not sure how that happened.”

Showers

Before – Taking a shower and having my husband walk into the bathroom to join me.

After – Taking a shower and having my husband walk into the bathroom while I start thinking “Oooh, nice. We haven’t done this in a while.” Only to have him end up digging through the cabinets to find a princess band-aid for our kid’s boo boo. Also, having my husband and I actually say boo boo.

Romantic Nights In

Before – Cuddling on the couch, sipping some wine, and watching a movie.

After – Watching the same episode of Daniel Tiger for the 50th fucking time.

Talking About Our Day

Before – Having all the time in the world to discuss matters.

After – Trying to talk to each other while your kid says Mom? Mom? Mom? Dad? Mom? Mom?

Or talking as fast as an auctioneer when your kid leaves the room and trying to get in a week’s worth of talking within a few minutes.

Or filing it in your brain under “we can wait and talk about this without interruption once our child has moved out of the house”.

Going Out To Dinner

Before – Going to a sushi place and getting tipsy on sake.

After – Going to the “fancy” McDonald’s with a playground.

 Car Trips

Before – Listening to whatever you want, getting flirty and handsy with your husband, and being able to talk for hours.

After – Listening to your child start asking “are we there yet?” within 2 minutes of leaving for your destination because holy hell, they really do ask that and it’s not just something you see kids do in movies and get stuck hearing a Kidz Bop cd over and over while you try with all of your might to keep yourself from opening the car door and jumping out of a moving vehicle so you can escape the most annoying music you’ve ever heard.

What are some things you miss doing in your relationship after having kids? Also, can we start a petition to ban all Kidz Bop music for the sanity of all future parents?

*Sergei Polunin

** I got the hummingbird a Kidz Bop Christmas cd a few months ago and it was kinda cute the first time we heard it but by the time we got home, I wanted to rip my face off.

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Chocolate Pecan Pie Tarts

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We were supposed to get hit by another blizzard over the weekend but it was a bust. Good thing, since it seems like it will take all summer for the snow to melt here.

Here’s a tasty treat to make for these cold days.

Ingredients:

  • 6 ounces cream cheese
  • 1 cup butter, softened
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup butter, softened
  • 1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 3/4 cups chopped pecans
  • Some semi-sweet chocolate morsels

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 325 F

2. Grease 24 normal sized cupcake or muffin cups

3. To Make Crust: In medium mixing bowl, cream together cream cheese and 1 cup butter until light and fluffy. Blend in flour, 1/2 cup at a time, forming a smooth dough.

4. Roll into 24 equal balls and press one into each greased cup so it lines the bottoms and sides, like a pie crust. If you have a cup that will fit into the muffin cups, you can put some pam or flour on it, and push the cup into the dough ball, so you don’t have to form all the crusts by hand.

4. Now, take the chocolate morsels, and put 6 to 10 in each cup, depending on how much chocolate you want in them.

5. To Make Filling: In a medium mixing bowl, cream together 1/4 cup butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs until thoroughly blended. Stir in vanilla. Stir in pecans. Fill each lined cup half full.

6. Bake in oven for 25 minutes, or until lightly browned. Let cool in cups, then use a butter knife to flip each tart out.

7. Set them on cooling racks until completely cooled. Store in airtight container.

Enjoy!

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How To Shave Your Legs When You’re A Mom

Some of my shower mates that are never this neatly arranged.

Some of my shower mates that are never this neatly arranged.

Step 1: Make sure to put a load of laundry in the washer first. That way, while in the shower, the water pressure and temperature will make for a totally unpredictable and fun showering experience.

Step 2: Less than a minute after you’ve stepped into the shower, your child barges into the bathroom to let you know they are bored.

Step 3: Tell them to give you 5 minutes and you’ll be right out.

Step 4: They answer back with “How long is 5 minutes, mom?”

Step 5: While washing your hair like your arms are on speed, reply with “It’s about the same amount of time that it takes you to use the bathroom, wash your hands, and brush your hair.”

Step 6: Finally alone again, while blinded by shampoo dripping down your face, you step on something hard.

Step 7: When you can see again, you realize what you stepped on is a little, plastic Cinderella. The Cinderella you bought for your 5 year-old at Target because they have them perfectly placed by the check out, on the lowest shelf for little eyes to spot.

Step 8: Pick up the overpriced, plastic Cinderella and try to find a spot to place it on the tub which is crowded with an assortment of several bath toys even though you have a toy mesh bag to hold said toys.

Step 9: Your child comes into the bathroom again, whining that they are SO HUNGRY and need a snack right now. They emphasize this with a few foot stomps.

Step 10: Tell them you’ll be just a few more minutes but if they need a snack right this instant, there is a box of crackers on the kitchen counter.

Step 11: Grab your razor from the shower rack hanging on the shower head. Have the shower rack slide down and almost hit you in the face while you have a mini heart attack.

Step 12: Curse your husband under your breath because you asked him a year ago to fix the shower rack so it doesn’t fall down every single time you shower.

Step 13: Try to find a place to put your foot up on the tub so you can quickly shave your legs.

Step 14: Have your child come in again and let you know they don’t like the crackers that are on the counter and they want sliced apples and peanut butter instead.

Step 15: Tell them that you’ll be just a few more minutes.

Step 16: They tell you it’s already been a few minutes.

Step 17: “Sweetie, I would have been done by now if you would just let mommy hurry up and finish”. This is one of those times where using “sweetie” translates to “Holy fucking hell, kid. My precious child, you’re being a pain in my ass”.

Step 18: Alone again, you can’t find a place to put your foot onto the tub because it’s covered in bath toys but you do find a little spot where you can put a tiny bit of your big toe on. Good enough.

Step 19: Try to balance yourself while putting shaving cream on your legs and holding a sharp razor.

Step 20: Do the “baby deer walking on ice” wobble while trying to maintain your balance when shaving.

Step 21: Have your child come in and say in the sweetest voice “Mommy?” You yell out “WHAT?” 5 year-old: “I made you this.” You can’t see what it is but quickly say “Okay, thanks, be out in a minute!”

Step 22: Wait… did I shave my armpits?

Step 23: Where did I set down the shaving cream?

Step 24: While turning around in the shower to find the shaving cream, step on something squishy and have another mini heart attack. It’s a blue octopus that squirts water out of its mouth.

Step 25: Yay, you’re done shaving.

Step 26: Get out of the shower and find that your child made you a picture of a heart that says “I love you, mom.”

Step 27: Feel ALL the feels, especially the guilt of getting annoyed with your kid because you just wanted a few minutes to shave your legs since you could actually feel the hair on your legs blow around while walking and you could not wait another day to shave but then your child made it nearly impossible to do it and now you feel like shit for raising your voice at them because they made you such a sweet picture and why in the hell don’t they ever bother their father like this when HE is taking a shower?!

Step 28: Go find your child, give them a big hug and kiss, and thank them for the picture they drew for you.

Step 29: Back in the bathroom, get out the lotion to moisturize you newly shaved legs.

Step 30: Find a patch of hair that was never touched by your razor, probably for a good month, on the back of your left leg.

Step 31: Fuck.

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What’s For Lunch?

These are hummingbird lunches I’ve made over the past month or so, not the past week, so it looks like I’ve been sugaring her up every day. To find out what I use to snazz up the lunches a bit, click here.

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L to R

*cookie

*cucumbers and cherry tomatoes

*crackers

*pepperoni

*cheese cubes

*ranch dressing in container

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L to R

*goldfish crackers

*cucumbers and carrot sticks

*peanut butter and honey sandwich

*ranch dressing in container

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L to R

*grapes

*cherry tomatoes with italian dressing and parmesan (Fail! I’ll stick with using ranch to get my 5 year-old to eat her veggies)

*cheez-it crackers

*pepperoni

*cookie

*cheese cubes

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L to R

*sausage

*clementine

*french toast sticks

*maple syrup in container

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L to R

*tortilla chips

*grapes

*veggie tortilla wrap (a little mayo, sliced sweet pickles, sliced carrots, and shredded cheese)

*salsa in container

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L to R

*strawberries

*green beans

*cubed cheese

*goldfish

*peanut butter cup

*ranch in container

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La Maldita Plaga

Hola! Damn, it’s been awhile, hasn’t it. I got my 106th cold (since the hummingbird started Kindergarten) a few days before Christmas and I’m still fighting it off. Mostly, because I keep getting these nasty sinus infections. I’ve been putting it off but I’m pretty sure I need to see an ENT since it’s been awhile. What’s stopping me is that I know there’s a chance I may have to have another surgery and ugh, I would hate that.

I hope to see my doctor soon about getting things checked out by an ENT.

So, in the meantime I have been completely slacking off because I feel like crappola. But I miss you guys.

There is a blizzard heading our way and I’m so off the wall happy about that.

No, wait. It’s my crazy husband who’s actually excited for a BLIZZARD!

And for the best news ever, my in-laws will be visiting us starting Valentine’s weekend and staying for 5 days.

Yes, 5 DAYS! In our house. For 5 days. 24/7. Staying here. In our house. For 5 DAYS!

Haha. Hahahaha. HAHA! This should be a ton of fun.

Anyway, as much as I despise the snow, the little hummingbird has been doing really well in her ice skating classes. My girl is fearless. And the hubby set up an ice skating rink in our front yard for the hummingbird.

I haven’t tried it out because the closest I’ve been to ice skating is holding on to the side of the rink with a death grip and without moving while I repeatedly say “Help! Help! Get me off this fucking ice!”

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