Book Suggestions For Adults And Kids

I’m finally blowing the dust off this here blog and getting back in the habit of posting. All of the large gaps I’ve been having on here is for several reasons but one is I’ve been putting together a book of essays I’ve written over the years that I’d like to self-publish it. The reason I’m even telling you this is now I have to finish it. No excuses! I’ve also been reading more than ever, if such a thing is even possible.

Here are some books that the hummingbird and I have really liked. I hope you find a few that you’ll enjoy just as much.

Sidenote: I haven’t had any caffeine today and my brain is pissed. So, it’s paying me back by not letting me form proper sentences. For all I know, this whole post might be gibberish. Okay, more gibberish-y than usual.


The Light Between Oceans – Stop everything you’re doing and get this book right this second! I read this months ago and I still think about it most days. I love that kind of impact a book or movie has on me. Tom, a lighthouse keeper, and his wife Isabel have gone through the grief of miscarriages and a stillbirth.

Soon after, a boat comes up onto the shore with a crying infant and a dead man. I’ll leave it there because you should just read this beautifully written book. And make sure to get out the tissues. I was doing the ugliest of ugly cries while reading the last bit of the book.


You – This book is creepy as fuck.


The Girl On The Train – This book was better than I was expecting. I’m pretty tired of hearing that this book or that book is the next “Gone Girl”. Each book has its own uniqueness so saying this book is the new hot at the moment style does nothing for me. Now, get off my lawn you damn youngsters!

Rachel takes the same train every day and stops at a signal by a building with a couple that she becomes infatuated with. After noticing some things that seem off to her about the man and woman, she takes it upon herself to investigate. I actually liked this book better than the one it was compared to.


Mrs. Kennedy And Me – Clint Hill was the Secret Service Agent that was on Mrs. Kennedy’s detail and was the one who jumped onto the presidential limousine right after President Kennedy was shot in Dallas. Mr. Hill recounts his 4 years with Jackie and the Kennedy family.

I have to say with everything I’ve heard about the President and his family, Clint Hill is a true gentleman in recalling his days with the Kennedy clan, particularly the First Lady. While I love my gossip rag reading on the weekends, I love that this former agent showed class and restraint with what he revealed and what he kept to himself but that doesn’t take away from it being a pretty fascinating read.

Some Scary Ass Books About Scientology – Okay, I rarely say y’all but oh my god, ya’ll. This shit is scary. I’ve read three books about Scientology in a row and there was no way in hell I could sum it up in a few sentences so it’s getting its own post.


For the kids…


The Bumpy Little Pumpkin – My 6 year-old absolutely loves this book. We checked it out from the library a few weeks ago and have already read this several times. Little Nell gets to pick a pumpkin and decides on a little, bumpy one but her older sisters tease her about it and tell her to pick a better one.

She ends up showing that there’s beauty in everything, no matter the shape and size. Good for Little Nell. This book prompted my daughter to gain quite a collection of bumpy and imperfect pumpkins that I found very sweet. Ages preschool to 6.


This Is Not My Hat – A small fish steals a hat from a big fish and thinks he’ll be able to outsmart him. This is a cute book and the hummingbird said she found it hilarious. Ages preschool to 6.


A Treasury Of Curious George – I bought this book when the hummingbird was about 3 years-old. I needed a book to read to her while we were moving and in a hotel. This ended up becoming one of the most read books of her young library. While she doesn’t have us read it constantly like she used to, she still likes reading this one from time to time.

It’s gotten so much wear from the 8 stories in the book that we have read many times, over and over and over again. I think this would be a perfect baby shower gift or for a young child’s birthday. Ages newborn to 150.


One Grain Of Rice – A very clever girl named Rani uses her smarts to pull one over on the Raja. Her town is going hungry but the greedy Raja won’t give to those in need so the young girl comes up with a plan that will help her town in its time of need. I think this is such a gorgeously illustrated book with a strong female character and I love that there is math involved and used in a way to make it fun.

When I read this book to the bird, the higher the numbers get, the more I over exaggerate what a mouthful it is to say such high numbers, which the hummingbird finds funny and looks forward to. Rani earns one grain of rice that doubles each day for 30 days and my daughter is entertained by not only learning numbers and the way math works but also about the message this book has about greed and kindness. I highly suggest this book and I’m definitely putting it on my daughter’s Christmas wish list. Ages preschool to 8.

*James Bay

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*Click off if you freak out about bugs and spiders. I’d click off but I’m writing this so it would be pretty impossible to do that and then you wouldn’t have to read about creepy crawlies. Now I have my feet up from the floor and I’m freaking myself out over the thought of spiders.

When we moved into this house over the summer, I soon found that we were living in real life scenes from that movie, The Money Pit. We had few options on rental houses here and the one we decided on seemed pretty good. I’ll spare you tons of ranting and just say this house is full of temporary fix-its that seem to be falling apart only a few months into living here.

Like when I opened the closet door and the door handle just plopped off in my hand since the dumbass who “fixed it” replaced a missing screw with the tiniest little screw known to man. Or how the oven was broken when we moved in and we just recently got it replaced by the landlord.


If you live in a place that doesn’t have very many bugs, I’ll let you in on a secret. It’s because all of them are living in Maine. Maybe it’s because we came from California but holy shit, the mosquitoes here seem like the size of Chihuahuas and they need to be on a leash.

Up until recently, we seemed to be living in Spider Central. They’ve been running around the house like they own the place and if they don’t go away soon, they can have it because my ass will be staying at a hotel.

I’m hoping the colder weather will scare these fuckers away.

So, after a tiring day of unpacking, I wanted to pick up a book and relax a little. I had finally gotten into a comfy spot on the bed when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature tarantula and eight spider legs.

Crawling up my leg. Are you fucking kidding me?!

When lying on the bed there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, got a tissue from the box, squished it while screaming, and threw it in the trash.

Another memorable spider moment was when I was making my daughter’s lunch for the next day. I was putting away her cream cheese bagel and thinking about eating the other half since I know she won’t eat it and that’s when I started to feel a tickle on my left arm.

At first I was thinking it was my husband, then cat hair and with that thought, I looked down on my arm and up crawled a spider.


I should have known a family member from that squished spider would come for revenge.

Okay, my husband thinks I’m just overreacting when it comes to spiders but seriously, they scare the ever-living hell out of me.

I’ll never forget the spider incident of the 80’s. I was putting on my shoes and was feeling this weird sensation on the bottom of my left foot. I took my shoe off, then put it back on but it still felt funny so I started shuffling my foot back and forth on the ground to itch it.

The weird feeling didn’t go away so I thought it could be my socks. When I went to take my shoe off, out fell a half dead spider which I smashed into tiny pieces with my other shoe while doing the “oh my god, there’s a fucking spider near me” dance.

Happy Halloween!

*Reel Big Fish

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Peenterest: Good Vibrations

Life has been crazy and stressful lately and I believe laughter really is the best medicine. Case in point, we were at a neighbor’s house, talking about how our kids want us to play, play, play all the time when that’s just not possible. My husband responded with “When I was younger, I used to play with myself all the time.” *Awkward silence* *Laughter*






















*Just Give Me A Reason

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Who Is That Frantic, Disheveled, Crazy Mom Dropping Her Kid Off At School? Oh, It’s Just Me.

When we moved over the summer, we ended up being only a few blocks away from the hummingbird’s school. I had these images in my head of walking her to school in the morning, hand in hand, with all the time in the world. Easy breezy.

In reality, I think that has only happened once.

No matter how much time we have in the morning before she has to go to school, time escapes us and chaos ensues. Every damn morning.

I make her lunch the night before and have her lay out her clothes for school. I make sure her backpack and school folder are all set to go. Most of the time, I even remember to put her lunch in her bag before we leave the house. Yeah, I’ve gotten the call about my 6 year-old finding that I forgot it. Whoops.

I’ve found that I am happy as hell when she actually wants to eat school lunch since that’s one less thing to worry about getting done.

Despite ALL of the preparation, that easy breezy walk to school ends up being a mad dash to the car and a drive only a few minutes away instead.

Me: We have to leave in 10 minutes! Have you brushed your teeth and hair? No? Well, please do that now. Sweetie, we need to leave soon. You can watch Paw Patrol once you get home from school. Why aren’t you dressed yet? Did you brush your teeth? Okay, we need to leave in 5 minutes. No, you don’t need to change your clothes. Wear what you have on. It looks fine. Please, we really need to go in a few minutes.

Go put your shoes on. Wait, you didn’t brush your hair yet. Go brush your hair. Little Hummingbird?! What are you doing upstairs? I’m ready to walk out the door. Well, come on! Let’s go! Please! We’re going to be late! Why did you change your outfit? And where did your socks go? We need to hurry! Pleeeeease, let’s go!! I don’t know where that other shoe is. Just wear your purple shoes. No, you can’t wear your sandals. Because it’s too cold.

Sweetie, please, please, pleeeease just put on your shoes. We really need to go. Okay, well, I’m leaving. No, you don’t need to bring your My Little Pony stuffie to school. Leave it here. Pleeeeease, let’s go!!!!!! I’m walking out the door for real this time. I guess I’m going to school by myself. Then, come on and put your shoes on. Hurry! It’s time to go!!!

This happens almost every freaking morning. Oh my god.

We end up rushing to school in the car, I park since they don’t have a car drop off/pick up area in front of the school, and we zoom across the school grounds and go inside. As we do this, I see the easy breezy moms walking their kids into the school. Some are pushing strollers and may have a meandering toddler, along with their school age child. These moms don’t even seem to be breaking a sweat. They look so put together and are often chatting with other moms even though time is ticking away before the late bell.

There are a few moms I see with their hair and make up on point. Wearing skinny jeans, ankle boots, and a shirt that isn’t wrinkled. The nail in the drop off coffin is that these moms are almost always holding a Starbucks coffee. The two Starbucks we have in the entire area aren’t close by.

It would be one thing if they had a coffee from a nearby place but they have time to presumably shower in the morning, put on full make up and have perfectly coiffed hair, wear clothes that could go from day to a night out with the girls, get their children ready for school, AND on top of that they have plenty of time to drive 20 minutes to and from Starbucks before dropping their kid off at school.

I’m jealous!

And then there’s me. I’m so busy getting my one child ready for school that there are days I can’t even remember whether or not I even brushed my hair. I’m usually in my pajama pants and ugly but oh so comfy Uggs, wearing my husband’s comfy and oversized warm jacket. I’m also usually starving since I was only able to have a few bites of breakfast in between yelling for my daughter to HURRY UP, and I’m in desperate need of caffeine.

What’s worse is that I’m not much better when it comes to picking my daughter up from school. Except for getting a shower. I’ll get so caught up in doing things around the house and running errands. When I check the time, I’ll be happy to see that I have an hour or two before the hummingbird needs to be picked up.

I’m not sure what happens in that time… maybe I’m abducted by aliens and my sense of time gets screwed up from it but it never fails that the next time I check the clock, it’ll be 10-15 minutes before I need to pick her up. Wtf? So, instead of that easy breezy walk to her school in the afternoon, once again I’m making a mad dash to the car to get there on time. And of course, the couple of times I’ve been a few minutes late are the days she gets out of class early.

I know I’m just not cut out to be that chill mom bringing my kid to school with plenty of time to spare but maybe some day, I will actually have time to put on some real pants. Probably not but I can dream.

*Anna Nalick

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As Yoda Would Say… Soccer Mom, I Am Not


Okay, Yoda never said anything like that but if he had to use his car as a free taxi service and shuffle his kids around from activity to activity while they whined about being hungry, tired, mad about being rushed out of the door because they’re moving as slooow as slugs, etc., he’d be over that shit pretty quick.

Let me just start by saying, my 6 year-old hummingbird has a natural athletic ability that leaves me so proud and in absolute awe. Like I tell others, she may be small but my girl has spunk.

And yes, while I can say no to her doing an extracurricular activity, it can sneak up on me and before I know it, she’s involved in a buttload of things.

I’m all for the other activities she does… except soccer. For some reason, it makes me irrationally stabby. I’m fine with her gymnastics class, especially after being rid of the Type A mom master, and I love her ice skating classes. It doesn’t hurt that her dad usually takes her to ice skating while I’m snoozing in my warm and cozy bed. But, just like last year, I dread being a “soccer mom”.

Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing my little girl kick some ass on the field. I just find it much more pleasant watching her play soccer in our backyard. She’s more confident about being on a soccer team this year which is awesome and helps soothe my nerves since I don’t have to drag her kicking and screaming to her soccer games. I just find myself being the one who gets whiny when it comes to going to soccer practice and games this time around.

I don’t want to sit my ass out in the hot sun… soon to be the freezing cold and rain and snow… for an hour. I don’t want to be outside when I can be lounging on my couch on a Saturday morning, reading my mindless and very welcome US Weekly without pants and a bra. I don’t want to sign up for snack duty and feed 10 kids instead of just my own.

What’s up with that anyway? When I participated in sports as a kid, I felt like I won the snack lottery from saving my allowance and scoring a hot dog at the snack shack at the little league baseball field. Even a cup of cold water from a thermos that my coach brought along made me feel like I struck gold.

So, in other words, BAH-FUCKING-HUMBUG, soccer!

Who knows, maybe the little hummingbird won’t want to bother with soccer next year. One can hope. In the meantime, I will start pinning plenty of varieties of spiked hot chocolate to possibly take along with me to upcoming soccer games.

That’s what I call getting into the spirit of the game. Yeah, such a bad pun. Ahem, I’ll see myself out.


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The Likeness Is Uncanny

Well, look at that! Donald Trump is on the cover.


I already shared this fabulous photo of the misogynistic pig on my FB page, but couldn’t resist posting it here.

And if you need some brain bleach, here you go…

*The hummingbird and I can’t get enough of this song.

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Long time, no see. I took an unexpected break since I went into an awful funk back in March. Depression pretty much body slammed me and put me in a headlock for a bit. It was being such a dick but I’m slowly climbing out of the hole I was in.

With my 6 year-old being on summer break and the chaos of moving last month and endless unpacking, I haven’t had much time… to pull my ass away from marathons of The Walking Dead and the delicious show, UnReal.

I’m hoping to get back into the swing of things once the hummingbird goes back to school in a few weeks. When she started kindergarten last year, I was freaking the hell out because Oh my god, my baby is growing up!!! But now, I’m counting down the days until she starts 1st grade.

I want to break out the hard liquor, get some glow sticks, and have myself a dance party on that glorious day.

Who am I kidding? I’m going to cry like a fucking baby because Oh my god, my baby is growing up!!!

I came across this video with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and it is glorious. “I’m sorry I ruffled your duvet but I had to work on that bootay”.


What were you up to this summer? Has your sanity been hanging by a thread from summer vacation?

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