Tag Archives | cats

Let’s Go To The Vet

That’s right… it’s time for the vet. Let’s chase down our two cats. Ooops, almost had Penny. There she goes again. We’ll, I’ll let my husband grab her. There’s sweet, bigilicious Maisy lying on the couch with no clue about what’s going to happen soon.

And, both cats are in their carriers. I’m lint rolling my shirt because of all the cat hair and accidentally swipe my face with my hand to get off the sweat from my forhead.

Needless to say, sweat and cat hair is an awful combo. It looks like I have to shave my forehead now.

So, into the car we go. Maisy is all chill but Penny, well, Penny wants to sing us a song.

It’s called MEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWAAAAA!

Penny, it’s okay.

MEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWAAAA!

Pennnny, you’re okay. You’ll be just fine.

MEEEOOOWWWWWWAAA!

Okay, Penny, we get your point.

MEEEEOOOOWWWWAAAA!

Meow, meow, meow, Penny. I know, but it will be over soon.

10 minutes of torture Meow’s later….

We’re here, kitties!

MEEEEEOOOOWWWWWAAAA!

We’re standing in the lobby and Penny finally quiets. Hallefuckinglujah!

And, now were in the check up room.

MEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWAAAAA!

Oh my fucking god. Make it stop.

MEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWWWAAAA!

Hey, Penny. It’s okay.

A dog barks out side the room.

Penny does her sliding across the floor cartoon animal run.

I laugh my ass off.

Now, it’s time for sniffing, and more sniffing, and more sniffing….

But wait. Penny has more to say. MEEEEOOOOWWWWAAAA!

I wonder if they have cat xanax?

The assistant comes in with a thermometer. Oh, joy! The cats will LOVE this.

MEEEOOOOWWWWWAAA!

Let’s do Penny first. I watch as she lies there anxiously as my husband and I talk calmly to her.

And, boom! You don’t have to see it go in to know the thermometer is up her butt. Penny’s not quite sure about this. I sure as hell wouldn’t be either.

Now, Maisy’s turn. The chill cat will be chill while getting her temp.

Hey, Maisy. You’re doing so good. And, up the butt. Grrrrrrr! Hissssss!

Whoa, she’s the chill cat. Where did that come from? She looks at me like mom, if you were poked with that up your ass, you’d hiss too. Touche, Maisy. Touche.

And now, we wait for the vet.

Since both cats have been violated with the thermometer, it’s time to get down to cleaning themselves. But, Penny can’t let us forget she’s not happy so MEEEOOOWWWWAAA!

They hear someone outside the door and instead of running away from the door, they run to it. It’s vet time.

Penny and Maisy have two shots each but neither is up the butt so we should be good.

Finally finished. I’m covered with so much cat fur that I would’t be surprised if by wiping my mouth off to get the cat hair from my lips, I would look like I grew a beard. There’s also little chunks of fur on my shirt and shorts. I look at my husband and he has cat fur hanging from his nose. I start trying to take it off but he thinks I’m trying to pick his nose. Hey dude, I love you and everything but I would never pick your nose.

Anyway, it could be worse. It’s not like I’m putting a thermometer up his ass.

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Yours Is Better

Be forewarned. This is a mash-up of things going on. Scratching your head while thinking “what the fuck?” and confusion may follow. Other side effects may include drowsiness, irritability, and dizziness. If you have an erection lasting more than 3 hours, please consult a medical professional.

Okay, I thought I’d just throw in the last one. Ya know, to see if you’re paying attention.

My daughter and I picked up the same cheese quesadillas and took them home. She was STARVING and had to have hers right away. I had a few things to do around the house that took longer than I thought aka “Mom, can you please give me a drink! My food’s cold now. Can you heat it up? I need to poop first. Now it’s cold again”, laundry, putting away the groceries, etc.

She took a few nibbles out of it and left the quesadilla sitting there for half an hour. The bird told me she was done and threw it away. Once I was finally able to sit down and eat, guess who was STARVING again and had to eat my food?

I asked my 6 year-old what was so different about mine and she let me know that mine tasted much better. I ended up eating some peanut butter m n m’s for lunch and my kid caught me. So, not only did she eat my cheese quesadilla, she found that I had a secret stash of chocolate.

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We finally found a house and move in 5 weeks. We have one more year here until my husband gets out of the military and then we plan on moving back to the west coast. We have SO much shit to move and it’s been tempting to just take everything out of the house and set it on fire. We haven’t even begun to start packing yet and whenever I start thinking about it, I want to throw a toddler tantrum and yell I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna!

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Our cats went to the vet and she put them on a kitty diet. Seeing my husband try to hold each one while standing on the scale to see if they’ve lost any weight while they wiggle around is pretty entertaining. I don’t know how to give them more exercise than they already get by chasing each other around the house like maniacs.

There should be an exercise dvd for pets. The closest one of my cats comes to exercise is lying on my exercise mat while I’m working out.

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I’ve been throwing myself into books more than normal and even try to put the bird to bed earlier since she can’t tell time yet. Win!

I’ve been reading these books and hopefully you may come across one you like… 🙂

 The Light Between Oceans – M.L. Stedman

The Girl On The Train – Paula Hawkins

To Selena, With Love – Chris Perez

Yes Please – Amy Poehler

Needful Things – Stephen King

Mrs. Kennedy And Me – Clint Hill

Confessions Of A Praire Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated – Alison Arngrim

The White Mountains (The Tripods) – John Christopher

Short story long. When I was 13, my English teacher assigned the class to read this book. I wasn’t really into science fiction and since I was a kid, I dreaded having to read anything other than V.C. Andrews. I was surprised by how much I liked this book and the whole trilogy.

Several years later, this book crossed my mind and I wanted to read it again but I couldn’t freaking remember the name of it. I spent another several years googling or looking up keywords or whatever I could remember about The Tripods but still couldn’t find these books. A few months ago, when I was searching yet again, I found it. Yay! Sure it’s for kids, but I like it just as much as the first time I read it.

What have you been reading?

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Skateboarding cats? Hell, yeah!

My husband and I rarely text each other. It’s just not our thing. But I sometimes email him during the day to let him know what’s going on and show how productive I’m being. *snort*

This is from yesterday.

Me: Penny and Maisy have been fighting today and Maisy staked claim to the bed. As usual, Penny tried to be the attention hog but Maisy bitch-slapped her with her paw and Penny did a double Ollie off the side of the bed. You would have been impressed by Penny’s Ollie skills.

 =)
love,
me

Him: Maybe we should get a little skateboard for the cats to practice ollies.

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Cats Drinking A Cherry Icee

Me: Hubby, I have no idea what to write about. Can you give me a topic?

Him: Write about cherry icees.

Me: …….

Him: How about cats drinking cherry icees?

Me: Are you high?

Him: Or better yet, how about cats drinking blueberry icees? Do they lick it up? Do they paw at it? Would they get their mouths stained blue?

Me: I wonder if they have anything like that on you tube?

Him: They have everything on you tube.

Me: ……

Me: *looks up cats drinking an icee*

nothing

Me: *looks up cats drinking a slushee*

nothing

Him: *walks out of the room into the office and looks to see if he can find something on you tube*

Him: Found one! Told you!

Me: OMFG, they really do have everything on you tube.

Me: *checks out the video* *pretty sure it’s an ice cream treat like a push up pop*

Me: *says fuck it and puts the video up anyway*

 

And just because… I give you Teddy, the asshole cat.

 

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Is this Love?

Maisy and Penny are feeling the love…..

Is this love that I’m feeling

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Is this the love that I’ve been searching for

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Is this love or am I dreaming

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This must be love ’cause it’s really got a hold on me

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