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A Mom’s View: What Happened To My Bathtub?

As I took a shower yesterday, I went to shave my legs but when I lifted one of my legs up, I knocked over a small bucket containing a few squeaky ducks, some kind of small fish that squirted water, and a fake orange wtf from my daughter’s play kitchen.

That’s when I started thinking. What the hell happened to my bathtub?!

Pre-hummingbird, I would indulge in long, hot showers. Oh, those were the days. Or the occasional relaxing bath complete with an inflatable bath pillow, a loofah brush, soft music, and lit vanilla candles on the bathroom counter. Maybe even a glass of wine.

Post-hummingbird, I’m inundated with squeaky ducks, toy cars, and even snorkeling gear. Because every kid, or at least my kid, can’t seem to have a bath without it.

Now, I do quick showers while the hummingbird yells out Mom… Mom? Where is my Hello Kitty shirt? I want to dress up like Elsa but can’t find my blue dress. Can you give me a braid ? I pooped, can you help me wipe my butt? MOM! Are you almost done???

That’s when I thought, you know what? I’m going to show you a mom’s view of the crap all over the bath. And because I’m kinda nuts, I even took a picture.

Now, keep in mind, it’s usually more of a disaster than usual but I recently cleaned up because in just mere hours, my in laws will be visiting for four fucking days. Yeah, you read that right. My in laws are coming for a visit.

RED ALERT… MY IN LAWS ARE COMING!

Don’t worry. I’ve already purchased an economy sized bottle of red wine and made sure I have plenty of vodka at the ready. Actually, while we were at the store, my husband grabbed a big bottle and said “Do you think this will help you make it through my parents visit? hahaha

In case you’re new here, you might want to take a look at some of these in law posts: My MIL ruined my wedding and made me want to set myself on fire just so I could get away from her crazy, In-law Apocalypse, My in-laws are coming and I’ve already reserved myself a spot in a psych ward just in case, The time when my in-laws invited themselves to my sister’s wedding and she wanted to kill me and then my mom wanted to kill them only 2 hours after their presence, the very touching story of A Lack Of Boundaries With A Side Of Ranch Of Ranch Dressing, and my personal favorite… When You Wish Upon A Star… And It’s Stuck Up… Up Where?!.

If you dare, just scroll though my subjects and look up in-laws and mother-in law where I vent, bitch, and whine about them.

But back to the subject at hand.

A Mom’s and Dad’s view after kids. This could go two ways, zero participation where all you hear is crickets, chirp, chirp… or wanting to show your view. Whether describing your kids takeover of your bathroom in the comments section, or posting you own photo on my Facebook page, This Is Mommyhood.

I would absolutely love to read about it or see pics. I can’t be the only mama out there with this issue.

So, come on ladies and gents. Don’t be shy. We’re in this together. Show me what you’ve got! If this goes well, I may, just may show you my 5 year-old’s room aka the disaster zone that’s clean for five minutes and then BOOM, it’s an outright mess. I may even show the hot mess that is my kitchen, or the hummingbird’s play area… GASP!

This is my view of the bathtub. But keep in mind, it usually looks much worse, with toys on the floor and lying all over in the tub:

Mermaids, and buckets, and snorkeling gear, oh my!

Mermaids, and buckets, and snorkeling gear, oh my!

xoxo

Updated: If I get at least 5 pics of your bathtub kid takeover on my FB page, I will absolutely show you the little hummingbird’s hot mess of a bedroom next week. WTF am I saying?! I’ll probably show you anyway because I just lurves to overshare. haha!

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Insane In The Maine Brain: Pics

Now that I’m getting more settled here, I’m starting to see how gorgeous it is. One thing that amazes my husband and I is that the sky is incredible in Maine. Most days, it looks like the clouds have been photoshopped.

I know, it’s just some clouds but I find it to be pretty damn spectacular. And the sunsets are like no other.

Beautiful.

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*Silversun Pickups

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My daughter took this photo and I found out she has some bad ass photography skills. I can’t even hold the damn camera straight.

I’ve been having extreme morning sickness so for now you get a picture of a tree. “A fucking tree?!”, you say.

Yep. But not just any picture of a tree. The hummingbird took this picture on Tuesday and I was floored. My 4 year-old has some bad ass photography skills.

Whenever I take pictures, they’re pretty underwhelming. The hubby loves photography so she definitely got the skills from him. One of the only special skills she got from me is burping loud.

We fly out to Maine from San Francisco on Saturday morning and we may have found a house that we’ll look at on Monday in Topsham, ME.

I’ll be back to my regularly scheduled nonsense soon. I have SO MUCH to tell you too.

Like how I went postal on some teens that stayed next door to us in our hotel. And how this pregnancy is kicking my ass. Or how my husband made me bawl like a baby at Target last night because my hormones are going crazy.

The good news? This morning, my doctor gave me anti-nausea medication. Really hoping it helps.

With my first pregnancy, I was sick most of the 9 months. My doctors at National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, yes, I said the name on purpose, wouldn’t give me shit. I’m pretty sure their motto there is “Suck it up, Buttercup.”

Fucking military doctors.

I should have kicked them in the balls and said “Suck it up, assholes!!”

No, I’m not bitter. Not at all. *snorts*

So, this is already a better pregnancy experience with the little peanut… at least as far as doctors. Now, to find an ob/gyn in Maine. Oy! So much to do!

By the way, I’m pretty sure I’m having a boy. And EVERYONE keeps telling me that. So, it will probably be another girl, which would be awesome because that’s two little hummingbird girls!

Now, I give you “The Tree In The Park With Lots Of Duck Poop Around That Made Me Dry Heave And Say Ewww”…. by the little hummingbird.

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I took the hummingbird to my hairdresser a few days ago for a trim and my daughter really wanted a “ballet bun”. When I saw the results, I cried for the eleventh million time that day.

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*Pearl Jam ~ Oceans

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Guest Post: Picture walk… tree rings and digger trucks.

This guest post is from Kate who’s blog  I love. It’s beautiful with incredible photos. Check her out on Etsy at Tree Line Studio and at Kate Joranson. You can also find her on Twitter @KateJoranson.

Some other posts from her are Scraped, Poured, And Swept and Oatcakes: An Assembly Of Peculiarities.

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My ongoing project is cultivating my own creative moments while spending time with my daughter. She is 2.

She enjoys telling people what to do. I recently found an agreeable activity (for both of us) for this stage. We go for walks and take pictures.

She’s in the backpack, pointing and directing, and I take the pictures.

Our companion projects started with our foot tracing drawings, then continued with our Snowy Day Walks this winter.

The other day, we were out for a spring walk, and I wanted to take some photos of some amazing tree stumps.

She got into it , and started saying “take picture this. digger truck!” And so now we have a new side by side ongoing art project. I’m thrilled.

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To see more of these gorgeous photos, go here.
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*Kate’s song choice!
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The week in hummingbird photos.

Finally, you get to see a picture of my hubby.

Finally, you get to see a picture of my hubby.

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Will you stop taking my f*$%&@# picture while I'm eating!

Will you stop taking my f*$%&@# picture while I’m eating!

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One of her favorite parts of her week. Getting a cherry icee and popcorn at Target.

One of her favorite parts of her week. Getting a cherry icee and popcorn at Target.

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Dressed up to celebrate an early birthday celebration for her dad.

Dressed up to celebrate an early birthday celebration for her dad.

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Beating the shit out of a pinata for my husband's bday celebration.

Beating the shit out of a pinata during my husband’s birthday celebration.

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*Andrew Bird ~ Lull

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UGLYDOLL Prints

 

Just some of the little hummingbird’s UGLYDOLL collection.

Recently, Barry from Thumbtack Press contacted me and told me about the new UGLYDOLL prints that are out now. Squeee! The only way to describe how much I LOVE all art is to just say I feel like I need a cigarrette after I’ve come in contact with it, if you know what I mean. And I don’t even smoke.

Before the hummingbird could even find her nose, I gave her about half a dozen UGLYDOLLS. I admit they were more for me than her but she loves them now, especially when she uses one to hit me in the face.

Awwww, motherhood.

The “blue special” is one of my favorite prints. This one is super cute and I’m thinking about getting it and putting it in the little hummingbird’s room.

I’ve been taking a look around the site for the past several days and found a great artist, Andrea D’Aquino. Here’s a really beautiful piece by her. There’s also an artist, Doug Boehm, and this painting really stood out for me because of a particular reason that I’m sure you can spot.

Thumbtack Press also have a really cool feature called the “Virtual Room”. You can preview art on a virtual wall and you can even upload your own photo to see what a piece of art looks like in your house.

Barry, from Thumbtack Press, was such a great sport in doing a Q and A with me.

Elle: If the zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, which weapon would you want to have to fight these brain eaters?

A. a flame thrower.

B. an unlimited supply of ninja throwing stars.

C. a chainsaw.

D. a shoelace because you’re bad ass.

E. other and what would it be?

Barry: I’m gonna go with chainsaw (gross though) and some ninja stars. But I’d want at least the laptop gun and that one that could shoot through walls from Perfect Dark. Heat seeking anything are always useful, and also rocket launchers. Gotta have rocket launchers. And maybe like little nuclear bombs?? Also drones.

Elle: If you could be stuck in an elevator with anyone who would it be?

Barry: Probably just a plug and a laptop with good wi-fi, then I could Skype my family. Otherwise Woody Allen.

Elle: If you could drop everything and go anywhere in the world (real or fantasy), where would it be?

Barry: My own island!

Elle: Favorite guilty pleasure?

Barry: Pamplemousse La Croix. Guilty.

Elle: If you could send any celebrity/reality star into space so you’d never have to hear about them again, who would it be?

Barry: Britney Spears. Good question!

Elle: Which would you rather win? An Oscar, a Grammy, or a Tony.

Barry: Grammy definitely.

Elle: What’s one of your favorite books?

Barry: All my exhibition catalogues.


Thumbtack Press, the affordable art print site, has a new partnership with UGLYDOLL. Remember those little plush doll characters Wage and Ox? There are a bunch of them now, UGLYDOLL is blowing up, and Thumbtack Press has the exclusive right to offer prints of the little guys in unexpected spots. They’re in a supermarket, walking the streets, pondering life, and even considering Ramen. It’s great for a kid’s bedroom or really anywhere.

TTP has thousands of other prints too – starting at $19.99.

Go on over and take a look at these awesome prints!

*Here’s where I say I wasn’t paid for this post, the opinions are my own, la, de, da.

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Croup De Ville

The in-laws are finally gone. Yay! The little hummingbird has croup. Booooo! I haven’t had much sleep because I’m terrified that she might stop breathing so I check on her through the night.

Her doctor said we caught it early and put her on a steroid for five days. He also said to make sure to watch her breathing because there’s still a chance it could get worse and then we would need to bring her to the ER so she could get adrenaline if she stopped breathing.

All I heard was PANIC!

And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the past three days. I feel like I did back when the hummingbird was a newborn. Like a nervous wreck.

 In between being a nervous wreck,  I’ve been using my time very wisely yeah, right on Pinterest.

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Since it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow, here’s a card from me to you. Mwah!

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